This is totally what I want to get my PhD in

Ah, I love crazy religious mail (click image for larger version):
Any guesses as to what a metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist does? My first guess would be “annoys people with insane supernatural spam,” but the “gynaecologist” part is throwing me off. I’m not sure I want to know.

(Thanks, Jeff!)


  1. Ron says

    I didn’t know our Canada was all that holy, but no doubt in my mind that this person’s mind is holey.

  2. mcbender says

    Sounds to me like a fairly typical religious leader: a whole lot of philosophical terms mashed into word salad, plus examining people’s genitals.

  3. TPRJones says

    Apparently metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist means he helps gives birth to God’s perfect universe in his imagination.

  4. says

    No, I think that would be ‘metaphysicotheologicocosmobstetrician’What we have here is someone who accepts that god is a woman and considers her vagina a holy place.I get that – first religion I’ve ever considered half-way rational! (please switch satire meters on. . .)

  5. Matthew Carrick says

    “JESUS IN SECOND COMING” ??Sounds like Yoda announcing the race results in the “Supreme Being 100 Meter Dash”.

  6. says

    I don’t know what one who has that title does, but it is a pretty amazing title. You are right Jenn, the gynaecology portion is more than a little disturbing.

  7. Screamer77 says

    it sounds to me like someone who needs an excuse to see and touch naked women.

  8. says

    Heh, Historical Historian. As with any ridiculous titles or credentials, I have this urge to try and squeeze them into the meter of “I am the very model of a modern Major-General.” :P

  9. Ray says

    “Any guesses as to what a metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist does?” They treat ailments likeMetaphysitheologocosmovaginosis!Even though the smell of it is something quite atrocious,If you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious!Metaphysitheologocosmovaginosis!Om hari hari hari om hari omOm hari hari hari om hari omI traveled all around the world and through the astral planeThose silly fools who laughed at me and said I was insaneHad better take it back because I’ve had the wond’rous chanceTo look inside the universe’s cosmic underpants!(Sorry. What a way to introduce myself. Anyway, hello and I enjoy your blog.)

  10. says

    Jesus is Second Coming… in your vag?They research the metaphysical side of a woman’s punanni?the theological aspects of the all-mighty vageener?… 0_o

  11. John Small Berries says

    Perhaps the latter bit is not “gynæcologist”, but “gyna-ecologist”.No, it doesn’t make sense, but neither does the rest of the title.

  12. says

    metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist:The study of the nature of the universe through the female divinity.At least the good doctor had the sense to maintain the use of Greek roots throughout his invented field of study. None of this mixing of Latin and Greek for him, no sir.

  13. says

    What amuses me is the fact that whoever this is can manage to spell that monstrosity of a word and yet still spell Canterbury wrong!

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