While we’re on the topic of girls…

Some of my friends (both male and female) were giving me a hard time because a guy has never bought me a drink in a bar/pub/anywhere. Now, even though I’m a college student, I don’t go out that often… and when I do go out, I’m not dressed (like every other girl) in a mini skirt and a shirt where my boobs are about to flop out. But they seem to think this situation is completely socially unacceptable, and that I need to try hard to flirt it up and get free drinks.


I mean, there’s a tiny part of me that would like it, I guess, for a fraction of a second. It would be nice having a guy show interest in you, assuming he’s not a total creeper. But then you realize the only reason he’s doing it is to get in your pants, and all the charm goes straight out the window. That is the only reason, right guys? Or do the noble intentions of some get ruined by the devious intentions of others?

This is post 44 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.


  1. says

    I dunno. I've never bought a girl a drink in a bar, other than friends who I am out partying with on birthdays and stuff.

  2. says

    I'm with Veritas. I think it's generally pretty sleazy, for the reasons you've mentioned. You buy a girl a drink if you want to get in her pants, you buy her coffee of you want to get to know her otherwise. Or at least, that's my impression.

  3. says

    I suppose if I was with someone I didn't know, I would buy her a drink, regardless of what it was. But I would be arriving with them, not doing it at a bar. Does that make sense?

  4. says

    Why did they cancel this series? Argh.

    OK. If I was meeting someone outside of a bar, and we went to the bar as part of the meeting process, I would offer to buy her a drink. But I wouldn't use an offer to buy a drink as an excuse to initiate social interaction while already at a bar.

  5. says

    Yeah. I'm with Veritas on this one. I'm not much for buying drinks for people. Especially since drink choice is amazingly personal.

    Granted, I don't go out to bars to meet women anyway.

    Well, recently, I haven't gone anywhere to meet women. This needs to be rectified.

  6. says

    Veritas: Because it was stale. The real question is, why did they make the spin off.

    Jen: The whole thing gets complicated. I think the only real difference is whether you've been talking to the guy before he offers to buy you a drink. If the first (or nearly first) words out of his mouth are "Can I buy you a drink?", he just wants to get into your pants.

  7. says

    I once bought a girl I didn't know a drink, no strings attached, no ulterior motive. My (now ex) girlfriend couldn't make it to the party, so I was just out making new friends, this girl was in a similar situation, and she was broke. So I bought her a drink and we all had a good night being sociable.

  8. says

    I rarely go to bars. And when I do go, and I am looking for women, I generally don't go for the ones with their boobs mostly exposed.

  9. says

    You have bars where girls go without their boobs exposed? You don't live on a college campus like me, do you?

  10. says

    Atlantis? You liked that? The one, single good point of the series was that it had Jewel Staite in it for a while. Oh, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson showed up once…

  11. says

    I live in a town of 10,000 where 4,800 are students. Let's just say I don't oft go to the bar for that very same reason.

  12. says

    Really, though, I think the main reason why I don't look for women in bars is because the lighting is either just dark enough to give me vision problems, or there are hot spots of bright spotlight in certain places that just utterly destroy what vision I have.

    So I don't see anyone outside of arm's length away from me, or less. So if someone smiles and waves, I don't see a thing.

  13. says

    I think Atlantis is great, Kris. Not quality, but it's just hilarious. The characters make it for me. It's cheese sci-fi at its best. It's the sci-fi equivalent of a Bruce Campbell horror film.

  14. says

    Actually I've started going to the Lafayette bars instead of the ones right near campus. All the grad students go there so the atmosphere is a lot nicer (aka not full of sorostitutes falling all over themselves and loud frat boys)

  15. says

    There's no bars in this town like that. If students are in, everything is fucked up. It's horrid. I can't get a good beer…anywhere after 8 on any night, because it's full of Chillis and TNT chicks with their tits flopping about and miniskirts that barely pass their pelvis.

  16. says

    I find it incredibly amusing that atheists are supposed to be this wild, amoral, hypersexual group of people, yet here we are acting like old Southern belle's clutching their pearls over the inconceivable debauchery of today's generation…which I am a part of

  17. says

    It's got nothing to do with that, it's just that people I am interested in don't need to sell themselves with their chest. That's why I don't meet women in bars. Even when I'm desperate.

  18. says

    In the Netherlands, things go in rounds, and I don't see a drink-for-a-root culture so much. My sister informs me that in Spain it's ritualised to an extent that the ladies request a drink in advance, which I suppose has a sort of egalitarianism about it.

  19. says

    Hey, I'm all for debauchery! Definitely not so much for tripping over myself for skanky airheads. Plus, they're just fucking irritating most of the time. I love a good bar, I hate a "good" frat house.

  20. says

    A Stranger buys a girl a drink in a bar, he's looking for something…

    A male friend buys a female friend a drink in a bar, could be something, could be nothing…

    I know, I know, my comments are ground breaking.

  21. says

    The only time guys have bought me drinks was when I was living in England, and it was always my flatmates that did it. There wasn't an agenda, they were just the sweetest most well-brought-up and polite guys I've ever met (which really makes me wish I still lived there).

  22. Julie says

    Veritas, your comments paint a pretty dismal view of any woman who has the audacity to show off her cleavage. Your opinion that the boob-to-brains ratio is inversely proportional is not only wildly inaccurate, but pretty insulting to boot. Believe it or not, there are some women who are proud of their bodies, and enjoy showing them off. It gives them a feeling of self-confidence and pride in their appearance. Painting them as brain dead sluts hawking their wares simply for wearing a low cut top is patronizing, and you're certainly not doing feminism any favors.

  23. says

    Well, it's like this… I rarely buy drinks, because I'm dirt poor. However, if I were to do so, it's likely that I'm buying for a girl that is visually appealing (to me!).

    What that means must be totally individual, even though some things are almost universal in attractiveness, such as a slim waist.

    The bigger question in my opinion is whether you as a girl feel like selling yourself or like being loved. The way you tell it, it's the former. Now that's a thing you can't change whether you look good, or bad, or make an effort, or don't. If you feel like a prostitute if someone offers to give you money because you are beautiful to him, then that's the way you feel about it.

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