I’m Sick Of Debating My Humanity As A Trans Person — My latest on Medium

I wrote this a couple of months ago so some things are a little out-of-date. The overall message, however, remains the same.

When I came out as a non-binary trans person in 2014, I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. I didn’t mind, though; in fact, I immediately started speaking out about the subject as soon as I finally embraced my gender identity. Since then I’ve had a lot of great opportunities to explain what it means to be non-binary and trans in such outlets as Everyday FeminismSplice TodayRewire.News, and the 2017 American Humanist Association conference. Other than the occasional troll sliding into my Twitter mentions just to say, “You’re a dude in a dress,” I’ve had a lot of positive feedback from both cis people who have since come to understand more about trans and non-binary issues, and fellow trans and non-binary people who appreciate me saying the things they’re too afraid to say.

Lately, however, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s all worth it. No matter how many articles I write or talks that I do or podcasts I’ve been on, transphobia is still the best seller in the marketplace of ideas. On the right are traditional conservatives like Ben Shapiro who argue that trans women are still men because of chromosomes. On the left are radical feminists (or radfems for short) like Meghan Murphy who not only echo Shapiro’s talking point, but also think trans women are men trying to infiltrate women-only spaces in order to assault women. In the center are members of the so-called Intellectual Dark Web — the Popular Kids’ Lunch Table of public intellectuals — who are more concerned about Murphy’s recent Twitter ban than her hateful rhetoric, who think trans activism is inherently homophobic (which doesn’t make any sense), and who spread lies and misinformation about gender-affirming therapy. If there’s one thing that unites people from all four corners of the political compass, it’s hatred of trans people.

Read the rest here.

How Health Care Providers Can Better Serve Non-Binary Patients — My Latest for INTO

When Nessi Hunter Alice was 13, they started experiencing nausea every time they ate, sometimes even to the point of throwing up. Nobody took Alice seriously, though, because they’re a non-binary person who was assigned female at birth. Health care providers wrote Alice off as hysterical.

“I went to an older male doctor for a while for that and other concerns,” Alice tells INTO, “and he basically refused to treat me for anything because I was delusional and he didn’t want to treat me until I got psychological stuff worked out. And he called me delusional partially because I identified myself as non-binary.”

It wasn’t until Alice found a doctor who was non-binary supportive that Alice was diagnosed with gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), which is when stomach acid gets into the esophagus, and got the treatment they needed.

Sadly, Alice’s experience is not an anomaly. “Jasper” (who prefers to be anonymous) tells INTO that they went into a psychologist’s office for a disability evaluation, but left the appointment in tears when the psychologist refused to use their pronouns and asked invasive questions about Jasper’s genitals. Others have health care providers that say they’re supportive, but their actions show otherwise. Jay, for example, was misgendered by their doctor in two referral letters to a gender identity clinic.

Read the rest here.

Bi Any Means Podcast #165: The Truth about Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria with Julia Serano

My guest for today is Julia Serano. She’s a trans-bi activist, the author of the books “Whipping Girl” and “Excluded,” a musician, a spoken-word artist, and a biologist. Today I got her on the show to talk about the controversy surrounding Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria, and why the science behind it is pretty sketchy.

Listen to “Bi Any Means Podcast #165: The Truth about Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria with Julia Serano” on Spreaker.

Bi Any Means Podcast #164: Transitioning as Non-Binary with Ollie and William

Today’s episode is a panel discussion with two of my friends about what it means to transition when you’re non-binary. As people who don’t fit into the male-female dichotomy, I feel like we’re often left on our own to figure out what to do with our bodies, our presentations, and our lives. Joining me to talk about this are my friends and fellow NBs Ollie and William, and together we hope to figure all this shit out.

Listen to “Bi Any Means Podcast #164: Transitioning as Non-Binary with Ollie and William” on Spreaker.

Gender Dysphoria at an Alt-Country Show — My Latest for Splice Today

It’s Friday night and I’m at a coffee shop waiting for a local alt-country band to go onstage in an attempt to be more social. So far the social part isn’t working; I’m still the awkward wallflower sitting alone at a table, just like I was in my 20s. The only difference is now I’m trying to look more like the girl in the band than the four male members.

The guys in the band all have stereotypical hipster beards, glasses, and tattoos. Except for the tats, I used to look the same back when I was trying to make myself believe I was one of the boys. Masculinity was like a pair of shoes that didn’t quite fit, but I wore them despite all the blisters because I didn’t know there were other options. It wasn’t until I was 30 that I discovered there was a word that described how I always felt: genderqueer. Since then it’s been a process of trying on different clothes, hairstyles, pronouns, and makeup that were way more comfortable than my beard and men’s department jeans. Yet now as I look back and forth between the boys in the band and the sole female member, that old feeling of discomfort whacks me upside the head with a baseball. I can’t help but look at the woman the whole time. It’s not that I want to be with her; more like I want to be her.

The band goes on stage and launches into their set: it’s a mixture of the Old 97’s, Whiskeytown, and Uncle Tupelo with a touch of Jack White sprinkled in. The music is great, but I can’t enjoy it. All I think is, “I’ll never be who I want to be.”

Read the rest here.

Bi Any Means Podcast #157: Beyond Gender with Caleb Arring

My guest for today is Caleb Arring. He is the main host of the Beyond Gender podcast which focuses on LGBTQ news stories and interviews with trans people about their lives. He also runs LGBTQEntrepreneur.com with his partner to help queer and trans business owners gain more clients. Today we’re going to get to know Caleb more and all that he does.

Listen to “Bi Any Means Podcast #157: Beyond Gender with Caleb Arring” on Spreaker.

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How to Talk about Trans Issues — My First Article for Arc

The Atlantic’s Jesse Singal recently came under fire for an article about transgender youth. It focused on several people who first identified as transgender, went through medical transitioning, but eventually realized they weren’t trans and “detransitioned.” Critics noted that Singal used a study that was based on sketchy science, and presented a member of an anti-trans parent group called 4thWaveNow as an unbiased source. In response, Singal asked if transgender people are the only ones who can write about trans issues.

He probably meant this rhetorically, but it’s a question worth exploring. Yes, cisgender (non-transgender) people can talk about trans issues. However, when they do, they should practice some sensitivity, because language can either humanize or dehumanize people.

Read the rest here.

If you’re not a Medium Member, though, you might get stuck outside of a paywall.

Why Leslie Feinberg Still Matters — My Latest for Splice Today

Cloistered in The New York Times this past weekend was a tribute to the late trans activist Leslie Feinberg’s 1993 novel Stone Butch Blues. Headlined “The Best Book for 2018 Is 25 Years Old,” writer Kaitlyn Greenidge begins by confessing that she finally got around to reading the novel this past February. It was there that Greenidge found a powerful story that asks the same questions we’re asking in 2018: “How do you effectively organize across racial lines? How do you address the generational divides in your community? How do you fight sexism in your workplace, knowing you’re going to have to eat with your foes and band with them later for fair working conditions?”

The novel follows Jess Goldberg, who always felt like an outsider growing up in a working-class update New York neighborhood. “I didn’t want to be different,” she says. “I longed to be everything grownups wanted, so they would love me. I followed all their rules, tried my best to please. But there was something about me that made them knit their eyebrows and frown. No one ever offered a name for what was wrong with me. That’s what made me afraid it was really bad. I only came to recognize its melody through this constant refrain: ‘Is that a boy or a girl?’”

Read the rest here.

Bi Any Means Podcast #154: The Interesting Life of Priss

My guest for today is Priss, host of the podcast The Interesting Life of Priss. Continuing my Pride Month theme of highlighting fellow LGBTQ podcasters, today I have Priss on the show to talk about her life and her show.

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Bi Any Means Podcast #153: Odd Atheist Friends with Erik Ryder

My guest for today is Erik Ryder. He’s a trans man from North Carolina who co-hosts the Odd Atheist Friends podcast with Matthew Maxon. For Pride Month, I want to showcase fellow LGBTQ podcasters, and so today we’re going to get to know Erik more.

Listen to “Bi Any Means Podcast #153: Odd Atheist Friends with Erik Ryder” on Spreaker.

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