Why the Alt-Right Should Love the Attack on Syria

Welcome to my life: I came home last night after a successful first meeting of a new local LGBTQ group only to find Trump attacked Syria. I’m currently trying to avoid social media posts about it because I know it will depress the hell out of me, and instead going to focus on being productive, including calling my reps.

But I will say one thing; I’m shocked that the alt-right’s mad about the attack on Syria! Richard Spencer, Ann Coulter, and Paul Joseph Watson all condemned Trump on Twitter for getting involved with another country’s problems, something that Trump promised he wouldn’t do. I find that odd because out of all the people in the world, the alt-right should be the most gung-ho about blowing up Syria, and here’s why:

1). Trump’s killing brown people. Since the alt-right’s whole premise is based on racism and white nationalism, they should be happy he’s blowing up more brown people and Muslims, right? Unless the alt-right meant killing brown people here in America rather than over there in the Middle East. Still, blowing up Syria means less terrorists coming here to America, right? Forget accidentally finding a bad Skittle; destroy the entire bag and be done with it!

2). War is politically incorrect. If there’s one thing Republicans love to complain about (besides blacks moving next door to them), it’s that Democrats are way too soft on terrorists and dictators. It doesn’t matter that Obama used drone strikes or Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State when we killed Bin Laden, Republicans love to perpetuate the narrative that war is politically incorrect, and that Democrats want to give evil dictators tea and biscuits. And since the alt-right thinks politically correctness is a bigger threat to the First Amendment than Trump’s war on the media, they should be shitting themselves with glee over how the Syrian attack triggered a shitload of snowflakes. Hell, maybe even Dave Rubin will interview Trump and praise him for sticking it to the Left!

3). Meddling in other countries’ affairs is what makes American great. Trump supporters love to talk about bringing America back to the good ol’ days when men were men, and white people didn’t have to shit next to black people. And what’s more American than racism and sexism? Imperialism! It’s not enough that we get to enjoy our freedoms in our little corner of the world; we want to make sure everyone else does, too. That’s what makes America great!

Whether or not the Syrian attack means the end of the Trump presidency, I don’t know. (Probably not because the Trump Tape didn’t ruin his chance of winning the election.) As for now, I’m just gonna enjoy watching the alt-right scramble to find a new führer.


  1. Jessie Harban says

    Why would an arbitrary act of war end his regime? Obama did it, Bush did it, Clinton did it, HW Bush did it, Reagan did it… you’d have trouble finding a president who didn’t randomly attack other countries for no reason.

  2. yassir says

    Sorry, you’re totally wrong. The alt-right doesn’t want to kill all brown people. they just want to live around their own people. War isn’t politically incorrect, it’s the most politically correct thing. All regimes are murderous piles of shit and if there’s anything the alt-right and the far left could hopefully agree on is that (but probably not). Meddling in other countries is not what made us great and we want to just take care of our own problems at home. Fuck the rest of the world, we have too many homeless and sick and unemployed.

    • says

      The alt-right doesn’t want to kill all brown people. they just want to live around their own people.

      So they want to move to their own separate island? I’m all for that!

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