Vatican ditches God, gets propaganda help instead

It seems that the Vatican is having a little trouble containing damaging internal information leaked by Ratzinger’s very own butler, who remains under arrest in the little nation of Pedophilistan.  Apparently, nobody is believing they’re not a corrupt organization.  Imagine that!

In the crisis, what does the Vatican do?  Get their all-powerful god to come to their rescue?  Don’t be silly.  Everyone knows that will never happen.  They double down and hire someone who really knows how to solve the problem:  a propagandist from one of the world’s greatest propaganda empires: Fox News.  Fox News is now famous for their distortions and misinforming their viewers.  That’s just what the Vatican needs: more lies, better lies.  Lies that someone might actually believe.

Good luck with that, Vatican.  You’ll need it.


  1. 'Tis Himself says

    If your best efforts aren’t working then you call in the experts. That’s all the Vatican did. They need help with their propaganda and who’s better at propaganda than Fox?

  2. christophburschka says

    I’m sure Fox News is just itching to add “By Divine Appointment” to their tagline.

  3. Aaron says

    And a new Fox News jingle, sung by Bill O’Reilly to the tune of “If you knew Susie”…

    “If the Pope knew Jesus, like Fox knows Jesus…”

  4. michaelbuchheim says

    And now abideth faith, fox, fraud, these three; but the greatest of these is fraud.

  5. Daninthai says

    A propagandist from Fox News you say? Well, their story must have been true all along. Time to take up the cause of Catholicism. Grab a bible everyone. Last one to Heaven is a rotten egg.

  6. Thomas says

    Ok. Maybe I’m horribly misinformed, but the idea that the Vatican can have someone “arrested” frightens the hell out of me. So, they declared these documents top secret and are now subjecting this guy to their own legal system? There aren’t enough scare quotes to do this paragraph justice.

    Will he have a trial, or did they just get a bishop to point at him and exclaim “You dare defy me? Have this man placed in the dungeon!”

  7. Toshi Zaza says

    First of all my english is not too well, but I will give you my opinion,
    We are all people no matter believes or not, so if someone says that your are a pedofile and you are not ?
    There are a lot of in the world….a lot !!! and they aren’t all priests !!! What do you have to say of those ???
    What is all the fuzz about the money ? Earn you own money, and do laundry if you wish ? What is the problem ?

    Human traffic, Drugs, criminals, unrespectful behavior, envy,….does this mean something ?

    Don’t forget, even if YOU are not a christian, there are a lot of people who believe, and the way you act destroys all this peoples lifes…You don’t have to AGREE show some RESPECT for others… and no I am not a believer but I try to respect another. You are destroying peoples lifes, you are hurting people.