Came up with a one-liner, now I’m just waiting for an opportunity

Hypothetical nondenominational new agey theist caller: “Don’t you understand, God is the energy in the universe.”
Russell: “Do you measure him in joules or calories?”


  1. DavidCT says

    After recently looking at the bible if you were to convert that god energy to matter, all you would get would be a turd.How can people believe in this crap?

  2. Nathan Dickey: Journeyman Heretic says

    Great retort! Although I now harbor a suspicion that some 'prank' callers will attempt to actually use that hypothetical claim just to hear you say it.

  3. says

    "I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that."Deus volt, eh?(YES! Yes, I actually made that joke. I regret nothing.)

  4. says

    @darren-No, but it can stick to the wall when al dente. Hey, I think I've got my trinity: raw, al dente and cooked.If God is energy, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster is surely the one true god. Hallelujah!

  5. says

    @DavidTCThat is actually fairly significant. You can get a decent amount of work harnessed by combusting fecal matter.

  6. says

    @Ing-Are you saying that God is full of shit? Or shit is full of God?I had gnocchi tonight. Is God in there too? And does transsubstantiation work with beer as well as with wine?

  7. says

    @Watoosh: "I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?""Well, since Dark Energy outweighs everything else in the Universe, at least that would answer the problem of evil.

  8. says

    "beer as well as with wine?"That depends on whether the transub phenomena is contingent on alcohol or grapes. Either way more study is needed.

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