I’ve been a little emotional the past couple of days. I guess I’m a little more nervous about my upcoming surgery than I thought I was. Drawing has been a nice distraction. I did these two drawings yesterday.
My surgery is Tuesday and I have no idea how I’m going to feel, so if I disappear for a little while that’s what’s going on.
I really struggled as a teenager. I knew from a young age that I wasn’t a Christian, even though everyone around me was. I was naturally skeptical and it was just too far-fetched for me. My family didn’t attend church like other families in our small rural community, but I think they still felt the pressure to conform.
I knew I was different, and that was incredibly difficult. I did a lot of “soul searching” as a teenager trying to find something – anything – that made sense. You can be skeptical and still have big questions about the world around you. I went through a Wicca phase as a teenager, and when I tried to discuss it with my parents, my stepmom flat-out laughed in my face. It really bothered me. Here I was with all this inner turmoil over spirituality and my parents wouldn’t even take my struggles seriously. I felt as though I wasn’t allowed to question anything, and that was extremely frustrating. I was a smart kid with lots of curiosity but I felt like everyone was just trying to shut me down. It was hard not to view my family as small-minded after that, but I think more than anything they were just concerned about their image.
You can’t blame them. It’s hard living in a small town, and to be honest, I was an angry teenager and thought everyone in that town was small-minded. But deep down, I think a lot of people questioned things back home but they wouldn’t dare admit to it out of fear of ridicule. Conformity was the name of the game and I wanted out. I didn’t fit in, but thankfully as I got older, I didn’t care.
Fast forward twenty-five years and now I’m an atheist…and a mom. My daughter is seven and full of curiosity. We really encourage her to explore. She asks questions (lots and lots of questions) and my husband and I give her straightforward answers trying not to push her one way or the other. We stress common sense and she will eventually come to her own conclusions, and we will be there to support her every step of the way. I don’t ever want my daughter to feel the frustration I felt growing up. “Soul searching” is allowed and completely normal…even encouraged. There are so many things from my childhood that I want my daughter to experience differently. Growing up, I just wanted someone to hear me. I never want my daughter to feel like she doesn’t have a voice.
I think all parents want their kids to have a healthier childhood than they had, and we all learn from our parents’ missteps.
I am curious…were you allowed to question things growing up? We are all familiar with religious indoctrination, but if you grew up in a secular home, were you pushed in that direction? Did your parents have discussions and answer your questions? Were you allowed to make your own conclusions? If you were raised in a religious home, how did you finally break free? If you are a parent, are there things you are doing differently than your own parents did?
Freethought Blogs’ own William Brinkman has received two Indieverse Awards nominations for his book, A Fire in the Shadows!
The goal of the Indieverse Awards is to introduce readers to fabulous work by independent authors! Nominees have been announced and there is now a seven-month reading period to give everyone a chance to read the nominee’s books and cast their vote. There are no corporate sponsors or big donors, and hopefully, the Indieverse Awards will become an annual event.
Get in on the action at www.indieverseawards.com!
Congratulations, William!
April is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo), and it’s right around the corner! During NaPoWriMo, poets tackle the challenge of writing a poem a day. Last April, I wrote so much that I was able to finish my poetry collection, Unsettled, and I am currently looking for a publisher. So this April while I’m recovering from knee surgery, I’m going to be sitting around the house cranking out poems! I can’t wait! NaPoWriMo couldn’t come at a better time. I’m so happy I will have something to keep my mind occupied while I heal. I will be posting some of my work as I go along.
If you are into poetry, I highly encourage you to take on the NaPoWriMo challenge! It’s a lot of fun and a great opportunity for growth. Stay tuned for some new poetry, and if you are also a poet, please share your work! I would love to read it!
I have shared a lot of my health issues with you in the past couple of years, and I just wanted to tell you that I am finally having knee surgery in two weeks! I am nervous, not for the surgery, but for the recovery. I will be on crutches for six weeks and it will take a few months to fully heal. I just hope it goes quickly and I can get it over with. I’m happy it’s finally getting done.
I just wanted to say thank you for all of your support.
I work in the mental health field and come in contact with people from all walks of life. When people come to me, they’ve been through a lot. Things can get heavy and it’s the type of job where you need to practice detachment and not take things too personally. It’s hard.
I recently had a client ask me for a little extra help, but he has a lot of views I disagree with. He’s super Christian and he’s made it clear that he doesn’t support the LGBTQ+ community. I even heard him dead name a trans woman who lives in the same building as him. He claims to be one of those “live and let live” Christians – if you don’t bother me I won’t bother you – but then I hear some pretty vile, judgemental things coming out of his mouth.
I’m scared of a lot of the Christians at work – both staff and clients – because they can be pretty intense. I’m uncomfortable in many different situations and feel I have to hide who I really am. You would think in this day and age religion wouldn’t come up as much, but it does – a lot. It hasn’t been quite as bad at other jobs I’ve had. I should mention that I work for a nonprofit that is not a religious organization.
So back to this client who needs help, it’s difficult to advocate for someone you don’t like, but I do it because it’s my job. I’m just curious if any of you have been in a similar situation. Do you have any advice? How do you keep your personal feelings out of your professional life? All the religion at work may be a different issue, but I wish it didn’t bother me as much.
As a teenager in rural Henry County, Ohio, I couldn’t wait to go to college and get the hell out of that stinkin’ place.
I even became an exchange student my junior year of high school and spent one amazing year in Denmark. I returned to my hillbilly town a raging socialist. Yeah. That went over well. Senioritis and reverse culture shock made my last year of high school excruciating.
Needless to say, after graduation I left for college and never looked back.
I moved around a little spending some time in the Cleveland area and then Los Angeles, but an undiagnosed mental illness brought my life crashing down. I needed treatment and my family’s help, so I moved back to the area. That was twenty years ago.
Today, I live near where I grew up, but in Toledo. I have grown accustomed to all the conveniences of city life, and I love raising my daughter where there’s plenty of diversity and opportunity.
The strange thing is, I have become more fond of where I grew up as I’ve gotten older. Sure, I wanted to leave, but I can look back at a lot of good memories. Being a country kid was a lot of fun. Fireworks and bonfires. Swimming in the river. Spending hours playing in the woods. Seeing a million stars in the night sky.
My daughter is such a city girl. She will never know what it’s like to live without pizza delivery or not having restaurants and stores within walking distance. Hell, there are four Target stores within twenty minutes of our house. She doesn’t know what it’s like to live somewhere where everyone looks like you.
But then again, my daughter has never seen thousands of lightning bugs blinking and hovering over the alfalfa field behind my childhood home.
I wouldn’t want to move back to where I grew up, and I certainly wouldn’t want to raise my daughter there, but I’m at a point now where I can look back and say it wasn’t all bad.
Can you relate? What was it like where you grew up compared to where you live now? Maybe you stayed in the same place or maybe you made some changes like me. Do you look back at your hometown with fond memories…or at least realize that it wasn’t as backward as you thought it was?
We got paid today and on payday, we always go out to eat. Tonight we went to a popular restaurant in Toledo that is supposedly haunted. My daughter didn’t want to go fearing a ghostly encounter, but once we got there and she realized it was just a normal busy restaurant with nothing wrong with it, she was fine.
I used to fear supposedly haunted places, too, and I’ll admit it, I’m still a little afraid of the dark.
But why do kids fear monsters under the bed or in the closet? Why do they have fears that adults know aren’t true?
When I was little I was afraid of tractors and semi-trucks because I thought they had mean faces– especially the green Oliver in my grandpa’s barn. I about shit my pants every time he started the thing.
Also, growing up out in the middle of nowhere I was certain I was going to get abducted by aliens. I was sure one night I would see their big eyes peering through my bedroom window. It never happened, but it was certainly a big fear of mine– enough to keep me up at night.
I also assumed every storm would produce a tornado and my big sister thought it was hilarious to sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from The Wizard of Oz every time it stormed to make me cry.
I’m still afraid of tornados but as an adult that just makes me ultra-prepared. I’ve got my bug-out bag ready to go when it gets bad. My husband is the type that likes to go outside and look when the siren goes off but I’m the one yelling at everyone to get their asses in the basement.
Obviously, most people grow out of their childhood fears, but what makes children have so many unfounded fears in the first place? Are there just too many unknowns at that age?
What did you fear as a child? Are there any fears you didn’t grow out of?
I’m not going to say that aliens are real because there doesn’t really seem to be any definite proof, but wouldn’t it be cool if they were?
I’m not a very sciencey person. In fact, there’s a lot I don’t understand about the universe, but I’ve always felt my atheism was rooted in common sense. The existence of gods just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s just too unbelievable and therefore, isn’t real.
But with that being said, for some reason, I can’t discount the possibility of aliens. For me, god doesn’t make sense, but aliens do. We can’t possibly be the only intelligent life out there, can we? Does anyone else feel this way? I know there’s no proof of aliens, but it feels probable in my mind. It just makes sense to me. Why is that?
I like watching UFO and alien documentaries. I used to only watch them when I was under the influence, but I haven’t done any alcohol or weed since the relapse of my mental illness last summer. For the past couple of months, my mental illness has been kept at bay, so I guess sober is the way to go. The documentaries aren’t nearly as fun, but they still make me think and question things.
Is there a government cover-up? To me, that’s totally believable.
Does anyone else watch these shows? Am I the only atheist out there who thinks there’s a small possibility we might not be alone?
And wouldn’t it be cool if aliens were real? Can you even imagine? I just feel like there’s this whole gigantic universe we know nothing about. There’s just so much to learn, and in a way, we are so small and insignificant. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time.
I guess really the root question of this post is if it’s okay to believe in things if they’re probable but there’s no concrete evidence. Do you ever feel that way? Is there something you believe is probable but don’t have proof?
Or does this just fall into the category of “unexplained”? We don’t know the answer now but it might come with time. You just have to accept that some things are unexplained.
Please tell me I’m not alone…or knock some sense into me.