…“Could we be in worse days than we know?” Bakker asked on his television program yesterday. “In the nostrils of God, could it be worse than what we think? I think this may be the secret. This may be what God wanted me to see. God was vexed, upset, that he would kill everybody on earth. They were so wicked that he had to do it.”
After fellow guest Rabbi Zev Porat warned that while God had merely “pressed the reset button” with the flood, God will next time press “the delete button if we don’t wake up,” Gallups warned that “the spirit of Antichrist” is running wild across the globe, leaving God no choice but wipe out all of humanity.
It would be so nice, if just once, people would invent a god which was better then themselves, but no, it’s all the worst of humanity writ large. It never seems to occur to christians that an actual god would be able to hit a ‘reset button’ without killing most everyone. Of course, killing is the one thing Jehovah is good at (See Drunk With Blood).
As for a ‘delete button’, well, even if this idiot god existed, where would be the fun in this? You have all that juicy, surreal nonsense which is Revelation, and hitting that delete would spoil all that blood & guts fun. Makes more sense to just go with the whole second coming and all that.
…“What happened in the days of Noah? The whole world had gone down the spirit of Antichrist,” he added. “Satan was corrupting human flesh, he was corrupting animal flesh, he was corrupting minds, he was corrupting marriage, home, family, he was corrupting life itself and God pushed the reset button. We’re right back there again.”
If I wanted to invent a god, I’m pretty sure I’d want it to be able to learn from its mistakes. Stupid and vicious is a bad combination on any level.
I, for one, do not want to be in anybody’s nostril.
God as a meth-freak; it makes sense now.
Neither do I, I’m not cocaine or amphetamine.
Poor Jehovah, such a weak and incompetent God. Can’t create humanity properly the first time, tries to reset and fails again, gets so frustrated he wants to end his own project and presumably resign from his Creator status altogether. Truly a failed God.
Aha! So Bakker’s god is really a yeti-human hybrid whose third nostril was opened by psychic surgery. It all makes sense! (Or no less sense than anything Bakker says, at least.)
If God™ has nostrils, they probably look like Tim Hunt’s nostrils.
But bigger.
Wait, I’m mixed up now. Does humanity end when ‘god’ blows his nose? Just what’s he got up that nose anyway?
There’s a character out there someplace that “By the sacred nostrils of God!” would be a perfect interjection for. Like a take on Friar Tuck.
So weird. If satan is the one causing all the trouble, why doesn’t god drown him?
Christians. Always punishing the victim.