I like that. I promise you all that I shall not die curious.
Raucous Indignationsays
So, the song got me thinking. I have traveled. Many of the places I have been to were so wonderful that I want to visit them again. Venice for example. And New Orleans. But if I revisit places I love, I won’t get to places I haven’t been yet. I have finite time and there are far more places in the world than I have time.
The question is this: how would you balance that?
voyagersays
Raucous that’s a good question. I have not traveled a lot, but I’ve been to a few interesting places and I’ve been frustrated by not having more time to explore or to see it in different lighting. On the whole though, I think I would favour the new. There are a lot of things I’d love to see and I’m pretty certain I would leave wanting more time in those places too.
chigau (違う)says
I bought a small bottle of Coke® because I had an urge for a Rum-and-coke.
Urge satisfied.
Rum-and-coke drinked. Remainder of Coke® currently cleaning toilet.
Dunno, I think I’d like to die curious, because that means that I wanted to learn new things to the very end.
I’d prefer not to die of curiosity as my great-grandma did.
As for travelling: yep, there’s simply not enough time. While I’m not the kind of person who travels to the same place for 30 years, there are places that I can travel to many times.
I dislike travel. I would like to visit all the places around the world -- but on the condition that I can sleep at home in my bed and that no travel takes more than half an hourn and I can eat food that I am used to.
I rarely sleep well in hotels, I hate experimenting with food (not the least because I am allergic to some commonly used ingredients, like raw parsley and carrots, and I have to point this out to every waiter) and the stress of traveling is killing me. And the older I am, the worse I cope with it. So I am resigned to the reality that I have seen amost all the things I will ever see.
Today I was on business travel again and it was all interesting, except for the travel to/from part.
Nightjarsays
Charly,
I dislike travel. I would like to visit all the places around the world — but on the condition that I can sleep at home in my bed and that no travel takes more than half an hourn and I can eat food that I am used to.
This, very much this. I am exactly like you (except the part about food allergies which thankfully I don’t have, but I am a vegetarian that actively dislikes the taste of most meat-containing dishes… which isn’t comparable of course, risking eating something unpleasant is very different from risking eating something that might kill you!).
As a kid traveling was alright, but in my late teens I started having difficulties sleeping away from home. This got worse over time, to the point traveling left me completely sleep deprived and I would come back from vacations feeling a lot more exhausted than I was. Last time I had to sleep in a hotel I didn’t sleep at all, but it was just one night and I decided to sacrifice it for the sake of seeing beautiful things.
I don’t mind spending a few hours on the road, though, as long as I can come back home to sleep (or at worst skip a night of sleep as long as there is someone else to drive the following day). That leaves me with all of my country and maybe a little bit of Spain. There are still many places within an acceptable driving distance that I’d like to visit, so I guess that’s what I will be investing in for future travel.
Oggie.says
Charly:
I have no problem with the food when I travel (though MREs at forest fires I can really do without (and (with or without MREs) at least once per trip, usually early on in the trip, I get a severe case of travel trots (usually I luck out on restrooms (but not always (we carry an extra pair of underwear in the car for long trips (maybe that was TMI))))). Nor with beds (as long as my air mattress doesn’t spring a leak at a forest fire). What always annoys me when I travel is the shower always feels really really really really wrong. Won’t stop me traveling, but it does annoy me.
Raucous Indignationsays
I love new foods. Pesce crudo in Venice was sublime. I didn’t know the Northern Italians did sushi. There’s almost nothing I won’t eat. New cuisine is the best thing about travel, but can’t bear the thought of not having another mufaletta sandwich at the Central Market.
Chigau, thank you, and the timing couldn’t be better. Rick broke a bit yesterday, over feeling so damn helpless. I empathize so much, because I feel the same exact way, but I don’t know how to make either one of us feel better about that.
Caine
Hugs for you and Rick.
Sometimes feeling miserable together is the best we can do.
+++
Re: travelling
I love new food, and we solved the bed problem by getting a caravan. Trade off is that you spend more time on the road. No more driving to Sevilla in a day and a half.
+++
For your amusement: Fifty Shades of Neustadt
And yes, that is the official police website.
Rough translation:
A man called the police after he saw to men mistreat a naked woman who was tied to a chair (personal shout out to the gentleman, you did good!). When the police arrived they found the scene as described but were explained by all parties that the young couple was taking lessons in shibari bondage and all was consensual. The police “respectfully declined an invitation for a professional class”.
jazzletsays
Oh Caine, give him a hug from me and (please don’t take this the wrong way as it is just my experience and I am in no way diminishing the agony of your experience), tell him that having been both the carer and the cared for I’d take being cared for any day. Tell him doing the caring is the hardest thing I have ever done. That makes me sound as if I’m a callous slug in the normal course of events, but there is a profound difference between the normal give and take caring in a good partnership and the caring you give your partner when they are seriously ill and you are scared shitless (sorry!).
Take another hug for yourself as I hate being the person that makes Mr Jazz feel the way caring for your person makes you feel and I guess you hate making Rick feel that way too. Uff.
The sun is shining here and noisy Jake is trying very hard to be quiet despite the provocation of our neighbour’s dog barking. When I think back to the way he was when we got him -- you couldn’t get his attention when he found something to bark at, so you couldn’t treat him to get him to do something else -- he has come so far. Now he often just rumbles then comes for a treat or as now (this moment!) just listens to the barking.
Jazzlet, yes, of course I feel awful for making Rick feel awful, but there’s no way around that. He’s been really scared lately, and when he gets scared, he gets angry. He’s so accustomed to being able to fix anything, then there’s me. The recent drop to 92 lbs (41.5 kg) has had him in a near panic, too.
It’s just all so rotten for him, having such a need to protect me, and fix me, and not being able to either thing. The hugs will be delivered, thank you, because that sort of thing, it might seem silly, but it really does help him.
I’d like to travel, but since I can’t leave the house without worrying about another family emergency hitting, travel isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trollssays
Hugs to those who need it. Being a caregiver who also works is very trying experience.
Being a caregiver who also works is very trying experience.
Yes, and that’s a big part of the problem -- Rick is away from home from 4am Thursday until around 8, 9 pm Sunday night. He needs time away from me, I insist on that, but the distance is really hard for him to cope with. If he was working close to home, I think he’d be fine, but I know he gets worried that something might happen, and he’s 2 hours away.
The cancer lottery is spinning all the time.
My mother had cervical cancer that had been succesfully treated with surgery when I was in highschool. She also has a benign growht in her breast that has to be checked regularly and seems stable for years now.
And two weeks ago my father went for a biopsy for prostate cancer. Today he got the results and honestly, I think today will be the first day since then when I wil sleep soundly, because whilst they are not splendid, they are also not alarming. He has a benign growth and no markers in his blood so for now he will only be checked regularly if it grows or not.
But the lottery will eventually hit us and I do not know wheter I will be able to cope.
Oh, Caine, I was hoping to prepare posts for next few days in advance, but there just are not enough hours in a day for me to do so. Tomorrow I am going on a holiday in the mountains until tuesday and if the wi-fi at the hotel is just as bad as it was last year, I won’t be able to read, let alone write.
But there will be pictures afterward, although I dare to say I already have more than I manage to post.
Oh Charly, I’m so relieved your dad is okay. That has to be a serious weight off your shoulders. Try not to worry ahead of time. For now, everything is good.
Go on holiday, and don’t worry about blogging! It’s more important you take some time and enjoy yourself, we’ll all still be here, plugging away. I’m feeling better now, and I don’t go for chemo until next Wednesday, so don’t worry at all about not having stuff scheduled.
Charly glad for the good news about your dad’s prostate and that you got it before your holiday. Have a restful time.
Nightjarsays
Caine, I’ll add my voice to those sending hugs to Rick. I’ve come to the conclusion that I didn’t really know how helplessness felt like until my mother was diagnosed, it’s such a crushing feeling. And having to leave for work, yeah… there are phases that I just cry all the way from home to work. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with many people at work and I don’t have to pretend I’m fine. I can totally see how being 2 hours way would add to the panic. So, yes, hugs and much appreciation to Rick. And I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better now (even though I know feeling better than when you were feeling half dead isn’t much, but it’s something).
*** Charly
Fingers crossed for your parents, may the results stay not alarming for many years to come. Enjoy your holiday!
Caine, I’ll add my voice to those sending hugs to Rick. I’ve come to the conclusion that I didn’t really know how helplessness felt like until my mother was diagnosed, it’s such a crushing feeling. And having to leave for work, yeah… there are phases that I just cry all the way from home to work. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with many people at work and I don’t have to pretend I’m fine. I can totally see how being 2 hours way would add to the panic. So, yes, hugs and much appreciation to Rick.
Oh, hugs to you too, Nightjar. Yeah, the stress of it is really weighing him down. I know it’s making him crazy to see me so fucked up, and to make it worse, I just don’t always have the energy to spend time talking with him, which ends up making us both feel awful. I’m feeling much more human now from the hydration, and I’m sleeping better and my appetite is back. Rick emails every day, wanting to know how I am, and when I can tell him I’m doing much better, it helps so much.
voyagersays
Caine, me and Jack also send hugs to Rick. When I first started getting really sick I was seriously forgetful and having a lot of falls. Bob would sometimes try to go into work at 4 or 5 in the morning so he could be home for more hours during the day. He was in a state of constant worry and there was so little I could do to help. I worried about him being worried. Being so far away must make those feelings even more acute for both of you. It was a difficult time for us, but we had 30 years of love, trust and respect that saw us through.
voyagersays
Charly, I’m so pleased to hear about your father and I hope you have a wonderful vacation. I am looking forward to seeing your photos.
Nightjarsays
Thank you, Caine. How wonderful that the hydration is working and you have some good news for Rick. Nothing helps as much as that.
When I first started getting really sick I was seriously forgetful and having a lot of falls. Bob would sometimes try to go into work at 4 or 5 in the morning so he could be home for more hours during the day. He was in a state of constant worry and there was so little I could do to help. I worried about him being worried. Being so far away must make those feelings even more acute for both of you. It was a difficult time for us, but we had 30 years of love, trust and respect that saw us through.
Yes, it turns into a worry feedback loop. I know if it had been me, I would have been out of mind with worry, because falls can be so damn dangerous. We have 4 decades behind us, and yes, that helps more than I can say. Perhaps the one downside to all that time together is that you can’t really fake anything successfully.
I baked proper bread today (kind of, Saturday) and on Thursday, for the first time in a long time. (Scones don’t count.) I don’t have enough countertop/table space to knead the dough, but I thought that if I make a small enough dough, I can knead it all the way in a bowl. So I did.
The rolls I made on Thursday I ate in one day. On Saturday, I used two bowls and got two loads of rolls. I used pureed dates as the source of sugar to feed the yeast and the cereals used were white wheat flour, rye flour and a little bit of oatmeal. While it was a bit of work, it’s incredible how good and cheap can home made bread be.
chigau (違う)says
It is approaching 10 PM and the temperature is +22°C.
In Edmonton Canada in April.
I have no idea how to plan my garden.
.
We turned on the outside hose and found only one crack.
easy peasy
Chigau
As I said, spring’s been cancelled (though at the moment it’s more normal spring temperatures and weather)
+++
Speaking of bread, I bought a pizza stone to put on the grill.
Best. Thing. Ever.
Last night I tried it out because we have guests next Sunday and I wanted to test the starter.
I used store bought pizza dough, put some bears garlic pesto my neighbour had given me on top and then some white cheese (Turkish style).
It was delicious and exactly like a real pizza should be and no normal oven baked pizza ever is.
Also you can use the heat that is produced while your charcoal/wood is burning through to heat up the stone already.
Nightjarsays
A few days ago we were having 27ºC, now it’s at 12ºC again. Neither of that feels like spring.
***
In garden-related stuff: I recently discovered why my yellow African daisy plant was beginning to shrivel and looking like it was about to die. It was a parasitic plant, a broomrape. All of sudden I saw plenty of weird stems coming up, but it took me a while to figure out what they were and what they were doing. I removed it as best as I could, added a bit of compost and watered abundantly. Seems to be recovering already.
+++
And here’s a story from my neighbour, the 87 year old lady who still lives alone in her house and does most things in her garden herself.
Yesterday, Mr told me that he’d cut two twigs of lilac for her, because she was going to a birthday and wanted to bring some flowers and her children had asked her to please stay out of the steep and rather slippery part of the garden.
Today her son came to visit and through my open window I overheard the following conversation. They were talking about some more lilac when he said:
“Mum, what’s that ladder doing here in the garden?”
Her: “Oh, the neighbour must have forgotten to carry it up again, he helped me yesterday.”
Some time later I told Mr: you forgot E’s ladder down at the lilac.
Him: “What ladder? I didn’t use any ladder.”
Nightjarsays
Giliell
Good luck with the field horsetail, it looks pretty but sounds like a nightmare to deal with. I have no idea how difficult it is to eliminate a broomrape. I’m hoping it doesn’t come back, but I kind of suspect it will.
Your neighbour sounds a lot like my maternal grandma was. She died when she was 87 years old, but a few years before that you could still find her climbing the tangerine and fig trees despite our requests.
Nightjar
My grandpa was similar. At some point we decided that should he break his neck after falling out of the apple tree then so be it.
jazzletsays
Gilliell from what I’ve read even if you did try to eliminate the horsetail with herbicides it’s hard as it has a waxy coat that resists penetration by herbicides so you have to crush every shoot to break through the coat as you apply the herbicide. It is a survivor since the times of the original dinosaurs if I remember right, so it is pretty hardy. We just have bindweed which creeps in from the field at the bottom of our garden, at least the roots are easy enough to identify.
I had a neurology appointment yesterday, the neurologist thinks I probably have some degeneration of the spinal discs in my neck so they are pinching the nerves into my arms -- I get numbness in my fingers, lack of sensitivity, tremors and occasionally serious pain in my left shoulder radiating down to my arm. MRI to see, and if confirmed physio. It was a somewhat novel experience for me to be sent to a specialist and have them come up with a probable diagnosis and treatment plan at the first visit, but good, assuming he is right exercisies to strengthen my neck muscles will help a lot. I got rather worked up about it and am shattered as a result, but feel quite hopeful, despite it being something that will likely get worse it is just age, not another difficult to diagnose, impossible to treat thing.
rqsays
Never had issues with the horsetail. It’s there, but I pluck out what I want and the rest doesn’t seem inclined to spread at abnormal rates. I like the idea of a dinosaur plant hanging around, just because it can. I never knew it was a pest.
StevoRsays
YES! Cardinal Pell is going on trial for child sex crimes :
Although sadly Justice delayed has been justice denied for those who passed away or were declared medically unfit to give evidence and he’s pleading “not guilty” and a lot is still being suppressed by the court.
Who in the end was dragged home despite his attempts to hide away in the Vatican and who previously covered up aregin of pedophile priests in Australia as well as being a leading Aussie homophobic hate leader and adviser to ex-PM Tony “Mad Monk” Abbott and a top Vatican official :
Tonight in Japanese Language class I learned that when giving advice using:
ほうがいいです (roughly “it would be better if you did this…”)
in a sentence, the verb preceding ほうがいいです must be
past affirmative or present negative
which leaves the total sentence in either the present or the future.
Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?
+++As of yesterday I passed the second big practical examination which means that I’ll have passed that whole fuck.
I still don’t feel treated or graded fairly, but you have no idea how relieved I am to simply have passed.
Ice Swimmersays
Giliell @ 49
They were out to get you but couldn’t.
Could it be called a defensive victory? In Finnish we have this word and concept torjuntavoitto (voitto = victory, torjunta = the act of repelling or stopping an attack of any kind or preventing the opponent from scoring in sportsball).
jazzletsays
Oh Giliell I am pleased for you, I have been wondering how you were doing, but didn’t want to bring up something you didnt want to talk about. You didn’t let the bastards grind you down, well done it’s a significant achievement.
Steve R that is fantastic news, about bloody time.
I have been able to dry washing out side for three days in a row now. I am going to be starting on the dog beds if the weather goes on being dry. I love the smell of washing dried outside, the way it smells different at different times of the year, but aways fresh. Small pleasures and all that.
First my most prized bonsai tree has died in the fall because the weather was too warm for too long during the day but cold in the night and its roots caught rot.
Now multiple trees have dried despite sufficient watering and shade, because the weather is just too warm and dry for this time of year. Two of them were already in pots and display-level quality.
It’s been decades, but I still remember losing my little 20 year old Elm to a parasite infection, fought with everything we had, but she didn’t make it, and it still hurts like hell.
StevoRsays
Might not be for arachnophobes although hopefullyeven someof them may find it interesting. Beautifully written and fascinating account of a spider’s long life. Some spider! -(To riff off “Charlottes Web”) :
Yep. Basically, they form an opinion of you early on and then they will always justify their opinion.
You see, my Spanish instructor gave me two effing points in the pre exams before Christmas. Formal instruction more or less stopped at that point and we were on our own. Now, if I’d gotten 8 or 10 or more points now, what would that say about them?
Therefore it couldn’t be better that what I got.
On the opposite side the same is true. One of my colleagues in school does history and in his exam, 80% of the class didn’t understand the lesson. Only 4 kids participated at all. That’s what he himself says. He got nine points and was praised as “courageous” to do such a difficult topic.
Charly
That must be a huge weight of off your shoulders.
You cannot imagine. I couldn’t imagine. I’m not happy about the mark, I’m just happy about not having my education and formation set back to zero at age 39.
And I’m very sorry about the tree.
+++
On Friday, Mr congratulated me and said “and tomorrow we have to celebrate something as well”. I didn’t react because I had no clue what we were supposed to celebrate on the 5th of May. He repeated this in a few varieties over the evening and it was clear that he was trying to get at something and was disappointed that I didn’t get it until he finally gave up and said “and tomorrow we celebrate our wedding day!!!”
Which is on the 11th of May. :D
voyagersays
Congratulations Giliell! It sounds as if you had a real ordeal getting to this point.
+++
Charly, I am so sorry to hear about your trees.
We went to a medieval(ish) fair yesterday. We saw a unicorn.
chigau (違う)says
My cherry tree is blooming.
chigau (違う)says
Well
Oh
My
Goodness
!!
google
Brenda Lucki
StevoRsays
So the other day Australia’s Reich-wing Home Affairs minister and one of the most deplorably racist and nasty individuals in Aussie politics was on telly saying :
.. just because Australians don’t see on their television sets every night the vision of these boats (full of refugees fleeing war and persecution overseas -ed) coming – as they did under the Labor Party – it doesn’t mean that the problem has gone away.”
Inadvertantly (I presume?) revealing that his policies, the disgraceful, racist and inhumane “Offshore processing” -- i.e. locking up refugees who have committed no crimes in indefinite limbo and horrific conditions -- has failed and does not work.
Hiding the boats -- and the people they carried -- is obviously NOT the same thing as stopping them.
In the same conference linked here Dutton said :
“We have been able as you know to turn around 32 vessels and if we can disrupt vessels before they depart the port or before they get out into open sea, then that is obviously the desired outcome.”
As we know eh? Actually, no, we (Australians generally) don’t really know because our disgusting excuse for a govt has kept this secret and are still hiding the details and information as well as the names, faces and stories of the refugees who are being punishing simply for being refugees in violation of international law.
32 vessels turned around? How many lives were aboard those boats and under what circumstances were those people on them? Into what dangers and in what conditions were they turned around and where were they sent? With what consequences and loss of life and suffering and misery? Plus many more unanswered questions that are not being asked because the media have been unable as well as largely unwilling (probably?) to ask them.
Hope this is okay to mention here (please feel free to edit accordingly and let me know if not suitable for this thread) , think its a news item that has slipped under a lot of radars and hope the implications of what Dutton admitted will actually make an impact on people here in Oz ASAP.
I am totally exhausted and I do not know why. There is no objective reason for it. I was not working too much or too hard.
But I am still so tired that I do not even want to eat.
I hope I am not getting some out-of-the-season flu.
Lemme rant a little.
Yesterday we spent the day at a “Wildpark”, which means a park where local wild animals and usually domestic animals are kept. It was a wonderful trip, expect a ton of pics, especially of the wolves.
My rant is about people.
Of course you can buy little boxes with feed for the goats and ponies and sheep, but it says “Not for the deer” on the box in big red letters. It says so again in many more big letters on many signs.
But of course people constantly ignore it because rules are for others.
And I’m always sad for my kids who of course would like to feed Bambi and what they learn is that the people who ignore the rules get rewarded and those that stick to them get punished.
最初!
Toinen.
I like that. I promise you all that I shall not die curious.
So, the song got me thinking. I have traveled. Many of the places I have been to were so wonderful that I want to visit them again. Venice for example. And New Orleans. But if I revisit places I love, I won’t get to places I haven’t been yet. I have finite time and there are far more places in the world than I have time.
The question is this: how would you balance that?
Raucous that’s a good question. I have not traveled a lot, but I’ve been to a few interesting places and I’ve been frustrated by not having more time to explore or to see it in different lighting. On the whole though, I think I would favour the new. There are a lot of things I’d love to see and I’m pretty certain I would leave wanting more time in those places too.
I bought a small bottle of Coke® because I had an urge for a Rum-and-coke.
Urge satisfied.
Rum-and-coke drinked. Remainder of Coke® currently cleaning toilet.
Dunno, I think I’d like to die curious, because that means that I wanted to learn new things to the very end.
I’d prefer not to die of curiosity as my great-grandma did.
As for travelling: yep, there’s simply not enough time. While I’m not the kind of person who travels to the same place for 30 years, there are places that I can travel to many times.
Holy shit, Toronto.
I dislike travel. I would like to visit all the places around the world -- but on the condition that I can sleep at home in my bed and that no travel takes more than half an hourn and I can eat food that I am used to.
I rarely sleep well in hotels, I hate experimenting with food (not the least because I am allergic to some commonly used ingredients, like raw parsley and carrots, and I have to point this out to every waiter) and the stress of traveling is killing me. And the older I am, the worse I cope with it. So I am resigned to the reality that I have seen amost all the things I will ever see.
Today I was on business travel again and it was all interesting, except for the travel to/from part.
Charly,
This, very much this. I am exactly like you (except the part about food allergies which thankfully I don’t have, but I am a vegetarian that actively dislikes the taste of most meat-containing dishes… which isn’t comparable of course, risking eating something unpleasant is very different from risking eating something that might kill you!).
As a kid traveling was alright, but in my late teens I started having difficulties sleeping away from home. This got worse over time, to the point traveling left me completely sleep deprived and I would come back from vacations feeling a lot more exhausted than I was. Last time I had to sleep in a hotel I didn’t sleep at all, but it was just one night and I decided to sacrifice it for the sake of seeing beautiful things.
I don’t mind spending a few hours on the road, though, as long as I can come back home to sleep (or at worst skip a night of sleep as long as there is someone else to drive the following day). That leaves me with all of my country and maybe a little bit of Spain. There are still many places within an acceptable driving distance that I’d like to visit, so I guess that’s what I will be investing in for future travel.
Charly:
I have no problem with the food when I travel (though MREs at forest fires I can really do without (and (with or without MREs) at least once per trip, usually early on in the trip, I get a severe case of travel trots (usually I luck out on restrooms (but not always (we carry an extra pair of underwear in the car for long trips (maybe that was TMI))))). Nor with beds (as long as my air mattress doesn’t spring a leak at a forest fire). What always annoys me when I travel is the shower always feels really really really really wrong. Won’t stop me traveling, but it does annoy me.
I love new foods. Pesce crudo in Venice was sublime. I didn’t know the Northern Italians did sushi. There’s almost nothing I won’t eat. New cuisine is the best thing about travel, but can’t bear the thought of not having another mufaletta sandwich at the Central Market.
My cousin who works in Toronto is alive and well.
Yeah, Toronto. RWW had a clarifying article up about the man behind it. http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/incels-chads-and-stacys-decoding-the-toronto-van-attackers-misogynistic-slang/
Turns out he was a fan of Elliot Rodger.
Caine
on another related thing
Please give Mister a hug from me.
Being TheSupportPerson is not an easy task.
Chigau, thank you, and the timing couldn’t be better. Rick broke a bit yesterday, over feeling so damn helpless. I empathize so much, because I feel the same exact way, but I don’t know how to make either one of us feel better about that.
Caine
Hugs for you and Rick.
Sometimes feeling miserable together is the best we can do.
+++
Re: travelling
I love new food, and we solved the bed problem by getting a caravan. Trade off is that you spend more time on the road. No more driving to Sevilla in a day and a half.
+++
For your amusement:
Fifty Shades of Neustadt
And yes, that is the official police website.
Rough translation:
A man called the police after he saw to men mistreat a naked woman who was tied to a chair (personal shout out to the gentleman, you did good!). When the police arrived they found the scene as described but were explained by all parties that the young couple was taking lessons in shibari bondage and all was consensual. The police “respectfully declined an invitation for a professional class”.
Oh Caine, give him a hug from me and (please don’t take this the wrong way as it is just my experience and I am in no way diminishing the agony of your experience), tell him that having been both the carer and the cared for I’d take being cared for any day. Tell him doing the caring is the hardest thing I have ever done. That makes me sound as if I’m a callous slug in the normal course of events, but there is a profound difference between the normal give and take caring in a good partnership and the caring you give your partner when they are seriously ill and you are scared shitless (sorry!).
Take another hug for yourself as I hate being the person that makes Mr Jazz feel the way caring for your person makes you feel and I guess you hate making Rick feel that way too. Uff.
The sun is shining here and noisy Jake is trying very hard to be quiet despite the provocation of our neighbour’s dog barking. When I think back to the way he was when we got him -- you couldn’t get his attention when he found something to bark at, so you couldn’t treat him to get him to do something else -- he has come so far. Now he often just rumbles then comes for a treat or as now (this moment!) just listens to the barking.
Giliell, thank you.
Jazzlet, yes, of course I feel awful for making Rick feel awful, but there’s no way around that. He’s been really scared lately, and when he gets scared, he gets angry. He’s so accustomed to being able to fix anything, then there’s me. The recent drop to 92 lbs (41.5 kg) has had him in a near panic, too.
It’s just all so rotten for him, having such a need to protect me, and fix me, and not being able to either thing. The hugs will be delivered, thank you, because that sort of thing, it might seem silly, but it really does help him.
Giliell:
Oh my. :D
Caine, hugs to you and Rick.
I’d like to travel, but since I can’t leave the house without worrying about another family emergency hitting, travel isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
Hugs to those who need it. Being a caregiver who also works is very trying experience.
Thank you, Anne.
Nerd:
Yes, and that’s a big part of the problem -- Rick is away from home from 4am Thursday until around 8, 9 pm Sunday night. He needs time away from me, I insist on that, but the distance is really hard for him to cope with. If he was working close to home, I think he’d be fine, but I know he gets worried that something might happen, and he’s 2 hours away.
The cancer lottery is spinning all the time.
My mother had cervical cancer that had been succesfully treated with surgery when I was in highschool. She also has a benign growht in her breast that has to be checked regularly and seems stable for years now.
And two weeks ago my father went for a biopsy for prostate cancer. Today he got the results and honestly, I think today will be the first day since then when I wil sleep soundly, because whilst they are not splendid, they are also not alarming. He has a benign growth and no markers in his blood so for now he will only be checked regularly if it grows or not.
But the lottery will eventually hit us and I do not know wheter I will be able to cope.
Charly
*hugs*
I’m glad to hear about your dad.
Thank you, Giliell.
Oh, Caine, I was hoping to prepare posts for next few days in advance, but there just are not enough hours in a day for me to do so. Tomorrow I am going on a holiday in the mountains until tuesday and if the wi-fi at the hotel is just as bad as it was last year, I won’t be able to read, let alone write.
But there will be pictures afterward, although I dare to say I already have more than I manage to post.
Oh Charly, I’m so relieved your dad is okay. That has to be a serious weight off your shoulders. Try not to worry ahead of time. For now, everything is good.
Go on holiday, and don’t worry about blogging! It’s more important you take some time and enjoy yourself, we’ll all still be here, plugging away. I’m feeling better now, and I don’t go for chemo until next Wednesday, so don’t worry at all about not having stuff scheduled.
And I’m looking forward to vacation photos! :)
Charly glad for the good news about your dad’s prostate and that you got it before your holiday. Have a restful time.
Caine, I’ll add my voice to those sending hugs to Rick. I’ve come to the conclusion that I didn’t really know how helplessness felt like until my mother was diagnosed, it’s such a crushing feeling. And having to leave for work, yeah… there are phases that I just cry all the way from home to work. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with many people at work and I don’t have to pretend I’m fine. I can totally see how being 2 hours way would add to the panic. So, yes, hugs and much appreciation to Rick. And I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better now (even though I know feeling better than when you were feeling half dead isn’t much, but it’s something).
***
Charly
Fingers crossed for your parents, may the results stay not alarming for many years to come. Enjoy your holiday!
Nightjar:
Oh, hugs to you too, Nightjar. Yeah, the stress of it is really weighing him down. I know it’s making him crazy to see me so fucked up, and to make it worse, I just don’t always have the energy to spend time talking with him, which ends up making us both feel awful. I’m feeling much more human now from the hydration, and I’m sleeping better and my appetite is back. Rick emails every day, wanting to know how I am, and when I can tell him I’m doing much better, it helps so much.
Caine, me and Jack also send hugs to Rick. When I first started getting really sick I was seriously forgetful and having a lot of falls. Bob would sometimes try to go into work at 4 or 5 in the morning so he could be home for more hours during the day. He was in a state of constant worry and there was so little I could do to help. I worried about him being worried. Being so far away must make those feelings even more acute for both of you. It was a difficult time for us, but we had 30 years of love, trust and respect that saw us through.
Charly, I’m so pleased to hear about your father and I hope you have a wonderful vacation. I am looking forward to seeing your photos.
Thank you, Caine. How wonderful that the hydration is working and you have some good news for Rick. Nothing helps as much as that.
Voyager:
Yes, it turns into a worry feedback loop. I know if it had been me, I would have been out of mind with worry, because falls can be so damn dangerous. We have 4 decades behind us, and yes, that helps more than I can say. Perhaps the one downside to all that time together is that you can’t really fake anything successfully.
Nightjar:
So true, but I don’t have to tell you how rare those moments are, either. It’s beyond good to be able to say “feeling better!”
kittens
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YHdOh90kGHQ
it’s the SlowMoGuys
but it has kittens
Something completely different:
I baked proper bread today (kind of, Saturday) and on Thursday, for the first time in a long time. (Scones don’t count.) I don’t have enough countertop/table space to knead the dough, but I thought that if I make a small enough dough, I can knead it all the way in a bowl. So I did.
The rolls I made on Thursday I ate in one day. On Saturday, I used two bowls and got two loads of rolls. I used pureed dates as the source of sugar to feed the yeast and the cereals used were white wheat flour, rye flour and a little bit of oatmeal. While it was a bit of work, it’s incredible how good and cheap can home made bread be.
It is approaching 10 PM and the temperature is +22°C.
In Edmonton Canada in April.
I have no idea how to plan my garden.
.
We turned on the outside hose and found only one crack.
easy peasy
Ice Swimmer
Sounds delicious
Chigau
As I said, spring’s been cancelled (though at the moment it’s more normal spring temperatures and weather)
+++
Speaking of bread, I bought a pizza stone to put on the grill.
Best. Thing. Ever.
Last night I tried it out because we have guests next Sunday and I wanted to test the starter.
I used store bought pizza dough, put some bears garlic pesto my neighbour had given me on top and then some white cheese (Turkish style).
It was delicious and exactly like a real pizza should be and no normal oven baked pizza ever is.
Also you can use the heat that is produced while your charcoal/wood is burning through to heat up the stone already.
A few days ago we were having 27ºC, now it’s at 12ºC again. Neither of that feels like spring.
***
In garden-related stuff: I recently discovered why my yellow African daisy plant was beginning to shrivel and looking like it was about to die. It was a parasitic plant, a broomrape. All of sudden I saw plenty of weird stems coming up, but it took me a while to figure out what they were and what they were doing. I removed it as best as I could, added a bit of compost and watered abundantly. Seems to be recovering already.
Nightjar
Glad to hear that.
My whole left side of the “garden to use for growing” has been infested with field horsetail
Asked a friend about it who said “we do the best we can and use it for making tea and fertilizer”. It’s not like I’m planning to poison my garden just to remove a stubborn weed.
+++
And here’s a story from my neighbour, the 87 year old lady who still lives alone in her house and does most things in her garden herself.
Yesterday, Mr told me that he’d cut two twigs of lilac for her, because she was going to a birthday and wanted to bring some flowers and her children had asked her to please stay out of the steep and rather slippery part of the garden.
Today her son came to visit and through my open window I overheard the following conversation. They were talking about some more lilac when he said:
“Mum, what’s that ladder doing here in the garden?”
Her: “Oh, the neighbour must have forgotten to carry it up again, he helped me yesterday.”
Some time later I told Mr: you forgot E’s ladder down at the lilac.
Him: “What ladder? I didn’t use any ladder.”
Giliell
Good luck with the field horsetail, it looks pretty but sounds like a nightmare to deal with. I have no idea how difficult it is to eliminate a broomrape. I’m hoping it doesn’t come back, but I kind of suspect it will.
Your neighbour sounds a lot like my maternal grandma was. She died when she was 87 years old, but a few years before that you could still find her climbing the tangerine and fig trees despite our requests.
Nightjar
My grandpa was similar. At some point we decided that should he break his neck after falling out of the apple tree then so be it.
Gilliell from what I’ve read even if you did try to eliminate the horsetail with herbicides it’s hard as it has a waxy coat that resists penetration by herbicides so you have to crush every shoot to break through the coat as you apply the herbicide. It is a survivor since the times of the original dinosaurs if I remember right, so it is pretty hardy. We just have bindweed which creeps in from the field at the bottom of our garden, at least the roots are easy enough to identify.
I had a neurology appointment yesterday, the neurologist thinks I probably have some degeneration of the spinal discs in my neck so they are pinching the nerves into my arms -- I get numbness in my fingers, lack of sensitivity, tremors and occasionally serious pain in my left shoulder radiating down to my arm. MRI to see, and if confirmed physio. It was a somewhat novel experience for me to be sent to a specialist and have them come up with a probable diagnosis and treatment plan at the first visit, but good, assuming he is right exercisies to strengthen my neck muscles will help a lot. I got rather worked up about it and am shattered as a result, but feel quite hopeful, despite it being something that will likely get worse it is just age, not another difficult to diagnose, impossible to treat thing.
Never had issues with the horsetail. It’s there, but I pluck out what I want and the rest doesn’t seem inclined to spread at abnormal rates. I like the idea of a dinosaur plant hanging around, just because it can. I never knew it was a pest.
YES! Cardinal Pell is going on trial for child sex crimes :
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-01/cardinal-george-pell-court-decision/9713630
Although sadly Justice delayed has been justice denied for those who passed away or were declared medically unfit to give evidence and he’s pleading “not guilty” and a lot is still being suppressed by the court.
Yeah, that’s this Cardinal Pell :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtHOmforqxk
Who in the end was dragged home despite his attempts to hide away in the Vatican and who previously covered up aregin of pedophile priests in Australia as well as being a leading Aussie homophobic hate leader and adviser to ex-PM Tony “Mad Monk” Abbott and a top Vatican official :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Pell
Oh & I don’t think he’s suing Tim Minchin now!
Tonight in Japanese Language class I learned that when giving advice using:
ほうがいいです (roughly “it would be better if you did this…”)
in a sentence, the verb preceding ほうがいいです must be
past affirmative or present negative
which leaves the total sentence in either the present or the future.
Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?
chigau
It’s time you went to bed ;)
+++As of yesterday I passed the second big practical examination which means that I’ll have passed that whole fuck.
I still don’t feel treated or graded fairly, but you have no idea how relieved I am to simply have passed.
Giliell @ 49
They were out to get you but couldn’t.
Could it be called a defensive victory? In Finnish we have this word and concept torjuntavoitto (voitto = victory, torjunta = the act of repelling or stopping an attack of any kind or preventing the opponent from scoring in sportsball).
Oh Giliell I am pleased for you, I have been wondering how you were doing, but didn’t want to bring up something you didnt want to talk about. You didn’t let the bastards grind you down, well done it’s a significant achievement.
Steve R that is fantastic news, about bloody time.
I have been able to dry washing out side for three days in a row now. I am going to be starting on the dog beds if the weather goes on being dry. I love the smell of washing dried outside, the way it smells different at different times of the year, but aways fresh. Small pleasures and all that.
Giliell, congratulations! You owe yourself one hell of a celebration.
Congratulations, Giliell.
Congas and ratulations, Giliell. That must be a huge weight of off your shoulders.
And, yes: Congratulations, Giliell! You pushed through!
Congratulations Giliell. It’s always a huge relief when such things are over.
Well done, Giliell! You deserve a celebration just for getting that piece of stress out of the way. *highfive*
I want to curl up and cry.
First my most prized bonsai tree has died in the fall because the weather was too warm for too long during the day but cold in the night and its roots caught rot.
Now multiple trees have dried despite sufficient watering and shade, because the weather is just too warm and dry for this time of year. Two of them were already in pots and display-level quality.
Oh Charly, I am so sorry. I had bonsai trees back in SoCal, and it was sheer agony when one was lost.
It’s been decades, but I still remember losing my little 20 year old Elm to a parasite infection, fought with everything we had, but she didn’t make it, and it still hurts like hell.
Might not be for arachnophobes although hopefullyeven someof them may find it interesting. Beautifully written and fascinating account of a spider’s long life. Some spider! -(To riff off “Charlottes Web”) :
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2018/05/01/the-extraordinary-life-and-death-of-the-worlds-oldest-known-spider/?utm_term=.ca271b902905
Phil Plait’s Bad Astronomy blog article previewing the InSight mission to study Mars :
http://www.syfy.com/syfywire/nasa-hopes-to-launch-its-next-big-mars-lander-insight-tomorrow
Which as this shows :
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-43981895
Has now been successfully launched.
PS. Congratulations from me too Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-! Well done.
Thanks everybody
Ice Swimmer
Yep. Basically, they form an opinion of you early on and then they will always justify their opinion.
You see, my Spanish instructor gave me two effing points in the pre exams before Christmas. Formal instruction more or less stopped at that point and we were on our own. Now, if I’d gotten 8 or 10 or more points now, what would that say about them?
Therefore it couldn’t be better that what I got.
On the opposite side the same is true. One of my colleagues in school does history and in his exam, 80% of the class didn’t understand the lesson. Only 4 kids participated at all. That’s what he himself says. He got nine points and was praised as “courageous” to do such a difficult topic.
Charly
You cannot imagine. I couldn’t imagine. I’m not happy about the mark, I’m just happy about not having my education and formation set back to zero at age 39.
And I’m very sorry about the tree.
+++
On Friday, Mr congratulated me and said “and tomorrow we have to celebrate something as well”. I didn’t react because I had no clue what we were supposed to celebrate on the 5th of May. He repeated this in a few varieties over the evening and it was clear that he was trying to get at something and was disappointed that I didn’t get it until he finally gave up and said “and tomorrow we celebrate our wedding day!!!”
Which is on the 11th of May. :D
Congratulations Giliell! It sounds as if you had a real ordeal getting to this point.
+++
Charly, I am so sorry to hear about your trees.
We went to a medieval(ish) fair yesterday. We saw a unicorn.
My cherry tree is blooming.
Well
Oh
My
Goodness
!!
google
Brenda Lucki
So the other day Australia’s Reich-wing Home Affairs minister and one of the most deplorably racist and nasty individuals in Aussie politics was on telly saying :
(Source : seen on TV news but also recorded in this transcript from his own page : http://minister.homeaffairs.gov.au/peterdutton/Pages/Joint-Presser-with-Osborne.aspx )
Inadvertantly (I presume?) revealing that his policies, the disgraceful, racist and inhumane “Offshore processing” -- i.e. locking up refugees who have committed no crimes in indefinite limbo and horrific conditions -- has failed and does not work.
Hiding the boats -- and the people they carried -- is obviously NOT the same thing as stopping them.
In the same conference linked here Dutton said :
As we know eh? Actually, no, we (Australians generally) don’t really know because our disgusting excuse for a govt has kept this secret and are still hiding the details and information as well as the names, faces and stories of the refugees who are being punishing simply for being refugees in violation of international law.
32 vessels turned around? How many lives were aboard those boats and under what circumstances were those people on them? Into what dangers and in what conditions were they turned around and where were they sent? With what consequences and loss of life and suffering and misery? Plus many more unanswered questions that are not being asked because the media have been unable as well as largely unwilling (probably?) to ask them.
Hope this is okay to mention here (please feel free to edit accordingly and let me know if not suitable for this thread) , think its a news item that has slipped under a lot of radars and hope the implications of what Dutton admitted will actually make an impact on people here in Oz ASAP.
***
On a totally different topic -- saw a Eastern Spinebill honeyeater ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_spinebill ) on my Tecoma tree ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tecoma_capensis ) today.
I am totally exhausted and I do not know why. There is no objective reason for it. I was not working too much or too hard.
But I am still so tired that I do not even want to eat.
I hope I am not getting some out-of-the-season flu.
Gin tonic.
Two different gins.
Two different tonics.
Everything is fine.
chigau
I did! May the force be with her.
Lemme rant a little.
Yesterday we spent the day at a “Wildpark”, which means a park where local wild animals and usually domestic animals are kept. It was a wonderful trip, expect a ton of pics, especially of the wolves.
My rant is about people.
Of course you can buy little boxes with feed for the goats and ponies and sheep, but it says “Not for the deer” on the box in big red letters. It says so again in many more big letters on many signs.
But of course people constantly ignore it because rules are for others.
And I’m always sad for my kids who of course would like to feed Bambi and what they learn is that the people who ignore the rules get rewarded and those that stick to them get punished.
NEW THREAD!