Holy F*ckin’ Smoke


HSCelebrating slaughter, even after your dead. Golly, doesn’t that just scream American? There’s a company in Alabama that will take the cremated remains of someone, and pack them into hollow point bullets or shotgun shells.

Several years ago I was talking with my friend and co-worker at work one evening. We were discussing the passing of one of our relatives and the topic of conversation turned to our own demise and whether we preferred burial or cremation.  I told my friend that I had some cost, waste of space and ecological issues with burials and that I thought I wanted to be cremated and in some fashion, have my ashes tossed into a river or spread through the woods.

My friend  smiled and said “You know I’ve thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second.”

You’ll rest in peace, knowing the very last vestige of you will be used to cause the death of another being. Pity you couldn’t mange to rest in peace by letting another being rest in peace and aliveness.  All that shootin’, huntin’, and killing during your lifetime just isn’t enough, I guess. I’m, uh, just out of words.

Holy Smoke.

Comments

  1. Broken Things says

    Re-enforces my conclusion that if people actually pondered how their words would sound before they said them, the world would be a much quieter place. Assuming they have enough imagination.

  2. says

    Broken Things:

    Re-enforces my conclusion that if people actually pondered how their words would sound before they said them, the world would be a much quieter place.

    Agreed.

  3. rq says

    I wouldn’t want to eat that turkey. :/ Nearly cannibalism (once removed?). There’s so much inherent violence in that thought… can’t even do without it after death. That’s scary.
    Also, scatter my ashes in a nice quiet place, but please don’t let anyone ever put them in anything related to firearms. Except maybe an old-fashioned cannonball to be shot with an old-fashioned cannon from an old-fashioned pirate ship, into the ocean somewhere. So long as no turkeys, fish or marine mammals are harmed.

  4. says

    rq:

    There’s so much inherent violence in that thought… can’t even do without it after death. That’s scary.

    I know, it’s really disturbing. There should never be that level of gleeful reveling in violence when it comes to killing anything.

  5. says

    “I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second.”

    Sure sounds peaceful. Yeah.

    To be fair, Hunter Thompson wanted his ashes fired out of a cannon. And they were. But somehow it was cool -- maybe because they had fireworks and booze, too.

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