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Aug 22 2013

My day

Guest post by Heather McNamara

10:00 a.m.: fiancee Lauren McNamara texts me at work that she will be doing some interviews on CNN today about Chelsea Manning, who came out this morning.

10:00:01 a.m.: I tell everyone within earshot that my famous awesome beautiful amazing brilliant genius girlfriend is going to be on television.

12:30 p.m.: Lunch time. I tell some other people. My friends hide faces/walk away embarrassed that I’m admitting out loud to people outside of our circle of trust that my girlfriend is trans.

1:00p.m.-3:00p.m.: television at office plays Chelsea Manning story on loop; news anchors asking “hard-hitting” questions like whether those poor taxpayers might have to pay for Chelsea’s medical care.

4:10 p.m.: at doctor’s office with sons. CNN plays on TV. Lauren, my children’s stepmom, comes on TV. Two people in the waiting room snort and laugh. I ask if they think transgender people are funny. They laugh and stare at their laps. One of them says “Yeah.” I reply “assholes.”

4:11 p.m.: CNN news anchor continually calls Chelsea “he” and “him” and postulates that Lauren, too, was “once a gay man.”

5:00 p.m.: Arrive home. Cousin’s wife on Facebook has posted a status about how horrifying it is that her daughter has to share a bathroom with “a confused boy” at school. No really. I am not making this up.

6:00 p.m.: I call my counselor for a session.


Heather McNamara writes about indie literature, politics, and civil rights at HeatherMcNamara.net.

11 comments

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  1. 1
    carlie

    Fuck, what a day. I’m so sorry.

  2. 2
    Anthony K

    What carlie said. A virtual hug is yours if you want one.

  3. 3
    Anthony K

    And yay for your famous awesome beautiful amazing brilliant genius girlfriend!

  4. 4
    Cuttlefish

    In my own day, I saw/heard Lauren on two networks, and heard her referenced on another, while going about my business. Each time, she was a rock of certainty and level-headedness among a sea of people groping to find words to describe a situation outside of their experience. I found myself mentally taking notes–independent of topic, this is how it’s done; within this topic, she has no equal.

    Not all those watching were laughing. I wish you’d seen some of us instead of the assholes. Hang in there.

  5. 5
    Jon F

    My sympathies for having to put up with that. The comments on the news articles haven’t given me much hope.

  6. 6
    Ibis3, Let's burn some bridges

    Your famous awesome beautiful amazing brilliant genius girlfriend has an awesome strong amazing loving girlfriend. Hugs to both of you if you need ‘em.

  7. 7
    Xanthë, Amy of my threads

    Hugs and fist bumps of solidarity to you both. Lauren’s been wonderful as an advocate today and through the recent trial as Cuttlefish points out, but I think you’re pretty wonderful yourself.

  8. 8
    CT Chimako.27

    This made me cry. :((

  9. 9
    Sercee

    Hugs, for all of you, and harsh pointed words to your “friends” who couldn’t support you and to those imbeciles at the clinic. You two are both super strong and very good for eachother. Congratulations, Lauren, on your solid delivery and insights, and I hope with everything that people are able to use Chelsea Manning’s very public outing as a chance to learn and change so your sons – and everyone else – can grow up having to fight less hard for the right to be treated as a human being. <3

  10. 10
    Jackie

    I’m so sorry. I think you are both wonderful people and great moms. Neither of you should have to endure such ignorance and bigotry. Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Heather. I’m truly honored. I didn’t think I could be more impressed with Zinnia, but I was wrong.

  11. 11
    Alfonzo Dennison

    Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers|

  1. 12
    The Pronoun Game » The Digital Cuttlefish

    […] that’s done. The real reason for this post was to point you to Zinnia’s blog (I’m sure most of you are already readers), where Lauren simply […]

  2. 13
    Behind the scenes at CNN: How the media fails on Chelsea Manning’s gender » Zinnia Jones

    […] that day, my fiancee, Heather, made a post on my blog explaining how stressful her day had been due to dealing with people’s attitudes […]

  3. 14
    ‘Trans people are real people. We are not an agenda’ – Zinnia Jones on CNN » Godlessness in Theory

    […] that day, my fiancee, Heather, made a post on my blog explaining how stressful her day had been due to dealing with people’s attitudes […]

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