Why I outed “ex-gay” Matt Moore »« Someone is using a picture of ex-gay Matt Moore on Grindr (updated)

Ex-gay Matt Moore confirms he was on Grindr

After my last post about a profile on Grindr using ex-gay writer Matt Moore’s photo and personal details, I contacted Moore, who responded as follows:

The grindr profile was really mine. I’ve been on it on and off for the last couple of weeks.

Like I told the guy who sent you the picture, I am wrong in having been on grindr. I haven’t changed my views on homosexuality, the bible, etc.

Creating a grindr profile and talking to guys on it was major disobedience on my part….disobedience to Christ. Disobedience to a loving and gracious God. Thankfully, I believe that He forgives me for this disobedience. I believe the blood of Christ covers this disobedience. And I won’t be on grindr again….ever.

The pastor of my church and the church body I am a part of were informed about me being on grindr (I told them) before all of this came out, publicly.

While I’m glad that Moore chose to own up to this rather than continuing to make excuses as others have done in the same situation, it’s disappointing that he ever put himself in such a deceptive and hypocritical situation in the first place. So-called “ex-gays” publicly promote the notion that LGBT people are sinning against a god who will torture them eternally if they fail to suppress and deny their true nature. But privately, they often seem to have trouble practicing what they preach. They proudly tell queer youth that their lives will be cursed with misery, illness, violence, addiction, a lack of meaningful human connection and an untimely death, unless they follow a faith that demands nothing less than the utter negation of who they are. Then they turn around and happily jump right back into a life that supposedly carries these most terrible consequences. And isn’t it wonderful how easily they can choose to forgive themselves for all this?

It’s faith-based nonsense. It’s reality-denying foolishness. It’s harmful, hateful, ignorant, irresponsible bullshit that puts shame on innocent people. And it’s all for nothing. Don’t fall for “ex-gays” – they don’t even believe what they’re selling.

I’d like to thank my readers who send me tips about these goings-on. You’re the ones who make this all possible.

Comments

    • Robert K Wright says

      You must not have read Zinnia Jone’s last piece on this subject. You know, the one where he DID fool her, and she went off on all the supposed nasty people out there using this guys photo and information. She screamed out allegations of bad behavior before checking the facts and finding out it was INDEED HIM. He fooled Zinnia Jones and she came to his defense, only to find she should have done more research.

      • Brian Monaghan says

        Robert, I am hosting a seminar on detecting sarcasm at 4:45am on Feb. 30th, I’d be delighted if you’d attend. I’ll waive the $20, 000.00 registration fee… Zinnia will be our keynote speaker and she told me via telepathy that she REALLY hopes you can come, you can car pool with her.

  1. says

    They proudly tell queer youth that their lives will be cursed with misery, illness, violence, addiction, a lack of meaningful human connection and an untimely death, unless they follow a faith that demands nothing less than the utter negation of who they are.

    The sad thing being — as “ex-gays” like Moore illustrate time and again — that following such a faith is what CAUSES the misery, illness, violence, addiction, lack of meaningful human connection and an untimely death. Once they learn to accept who they are and how they are, it does get better.

  2. AJ says

    Faith without doubt is dangerous and it appears that Matt has been deceived on numerous occasions and has been made to feel dependent on very fallible humans. They propose to him things like “it’s okay to not accept your own homosexuality because gays are damaged and disgusting”. This sort of demonizing seems to be the sort of biblical contrarianism that describes the devil so frequently.

    I feel like a thorough and critical reading of Kierkegaard would help this guy — this kid, he’s so young. If he wants to be a person of faith then he needs to see that so many things he’s been presented with run contrary to the kind of reason and doubt that would make him a better person of faith instead of just someone who accepts judgments from people because they impressed upon him this false sense of power.

    If he wants to be a person of reason and rational thought, though, I’d welcome that, too.

    Give him 5 years. He’ll be out and much happier.

  3. says

    A sad a perfect example of why HeartStrong Inc has run exgay.com for over a decade. Things are not changing in this part of the world. the men and women who come to us for help have the same stories and the same experiences that I did 25 years ago. Nothing has changed.

  4. James H says

    If you’ve got to believe in Jebus, save your self the anguish and @ least pick a better church. Life doesn’t need to be so dramatic (unless that’s your bag I guess).

  5. Will says

    And this is why you should always be careful if you choose to hook up with strangers online, you never know what kind of person you might meet.

    • Heather says

      Actually, he’s one of the few who are taking responsibility. Doesn’t make it any better for him or anyone else, but there you have it.

      • steve84 says

        No he doesn’t. Admitting that it was him doesn’t cut it. He just explains his hypocrisy away by saying “Jesus absolved of my sins” and that’s it. The fact that he is involved in some authoritarian church where his pastors have complete control over him doesn’t help, but he drank the Kool-aid and fully believes this nonsense.

  6. David Grossman says

    This paragraph is laughable:
    “Check out the number of murders among the gay community. Check out the addiction rate among homosexuals. Check out the average lifespan of a male homosexual.”
    Perhaps Matt should stop reading the discredited lies from psychology “quack” and anti-gay hate-monger Paul Cameron for starters.
    As someone that has been with the same man for 18 years, and legally married for 4 years, Matt has a completely warped view of what being gay is. — By the way, we’re both around 50 years old, so that “average lifespan” stat is patently false. Neither one of us has HIV or AIDS or is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Shocking, I know.
    The fact that he’s trying to find companionship on Grindr speaks volumes. If he were straight, and only met prostitutes for sex, he could easily make the argument that the “straight lifestyle” is fraught with sadness and despair. If Matt found a gay-affirming church, I have no doubt that he’d be happy and content, and possibly in a loving committed relationship with another religious gay man. He should check out depfox on YouTube to see a gay family that invalidates every negative opinion he has on homosexuality.

    • Dan Sloan says

      Not only that, there ARE no authoritative statistics about the murder rate or average lifespan in the gay community. How can one produce such a set of statistics when the number of people who are gay hasn’t been determined?

      No doubt there are higher addiction and suicide rates amongst gays. There are also higher rates amongst African and Native Americans. The phenomenon is called “minority stress” whereby people in oppressed and despised minority groups suffer from higher rates of social dysfunction.

      What Matt leaves out is the homeless rate for LGBT youth who have been kicked out of their homes by parents who think like he does.

  7. says

    Dear Matt:

    You’re gay. Get used to it.

    There’s nothing wrong with being gay. There is no god, but even if there were, the concept of an all-loving god who would condemn you for your inborn sexual attractions is untenable.

    You can either believe in an all-loving god who loves you for who you are, or an asshole god who would condemn you merely because you prefer same-sex partners.

    It’s not being gay that is the problem here, Matt. It’s believing in the concept of an asshole god.

    Now, as I said, there is no god at all. But if you’re going to believe in such an impossible thing, shouldn’t you at least default to one that doesn’t hate you just because you’re who you are?

    Regards.

  8. Snickers409 says

    His response is all well and good, but when you get down to it, the guy is just a two bit lying sack of shyte who fools no one but himself. Actually I don’t think for one second he’s even fooling himself. He knows full well what he’s up to. Now, the question is, what’s in this ruse for him? He’s got to be making money off this con somehow or he wouldn’t be doing it.

  9. baal says

    Question: Where do we draw the line for invading someone’s privacy by advertising his Grindr usage?

    I think it’s incontrovertible that you do have a privacy interest in not having your desire for gay/bi sex to be advertised outside of your own efforts so we’re in justification land.

    1. Matt’s a public figure and thus free game (I’m partial to this one).
    2. Matt’s a freaking hypocrite and the social good from exposing that hypocrisy out weighs privacy.
    3. Matt’s grindr profile is public so once something is public, that’s the end of the analysis (I dislike this reason)
    4. Matt’s an “ex-gay” activist so all relevant attacks on him are valid as a member of a bad group
    5. (fill in more, I’m sure I’ve not covered all possibilities)

    I’m more or less bi (for want of a better term) but still support privacy in the age of FaceBook and Grindr type aps where you turn over obscene amounts of personal data for a song. Where is the line on what’s acceptable use of others private information?

    • steve84 says

      He is an advocate for ex-gay therapy and generally an all around anti-gay nutjob who hurts people with his activities. That doesn’t just justify his exposure, but obligates people to expose him IMO. If he just lived his life and kept his opinions to himself that would be something else.

    • F [nucular nyandrothol] says

      Where is the invasion of privacy in the first place? The profile is publicly available. Discussing iot elsewhere is not an invasion.

      Any other reason is just gravy.

      • baal says

        The standards on adversely advertising someones sexuality (outing) have dropped considerably if you can’t tell the difference between a person posting to one ap and having that posting advertisted (like it is here in mutliple posts). Would you consider it not an invasion to say, email his church with his transgression? (assuming they don’t already know)

  10. Robert K Wright says

    Zinnia,

    You owe your readers far more than a “Thanks for sending me tips” shout out. You owe them, and a lot of other readers an apology for going all bat-poo crazy and claiming it was a horrible hoax that some person obviously did to this man. Your entire first post about this was a screed of anger at some supposed horrible person for “using” this man and his photo. Maybe you should have waited until you heard from the down low ex-gay before posting your first post, rather than a “Well, he admitted it”. You surely owe every reader an apolgy for your unfounded accusations.

    • Forbidden Snowflake says

      She was being sarcastic. Really, this is an atheist blog, and Zinnia does not believe in ex-gayhood. The phrase “a devout, morally upright follower of Christ who has prevailed over his sinful temptations” is very obviously sarcastic.

    • casus fortuitus says

      RKW – is this some kind of bizarre performance art where you demand an apology from Zinnia for doing something you’re guilty of but she isn’t?

      Because from where I’m sitting, it’s you who should apologise for making the unfounded accusation that Zinnia made an unfounded accusation.

      As Kat says… damn.

    • Gigi Gee says

      “Whoever is responsible for this should be ashamed of themselves for trying to besmirch the name of a devout, morally upright follower of Christ who has prevailed over his sinful temptations.”

      FYI, that’s sarcasm. I think you owe Zinnia an apology sir.

  11. jenniferphillips says

    @Robert K Wright
    this is how Zinnia concluded her original article (pre-update):

    Whoever is responsible for this should be ashamed of themselves for trying to besmirch the name of a devout, morally upright follower of Christ who has prevailed over his sinful temptations.

    While you’re waiting for her abject apology, you might want to have your irony meter checked.

  12. Nick says

    I too foolishly used to be a so-called “ex-gay/pray the gay away” (although I knew I was lying to myself and everyone else.) As a teenager, my religion was my life, and I was ashamed knowing I was gay. As a result, I was borderline suicidal. Thankfully, I came to terms with who I am, and saw through the hatred and ignorance of such thinking. So dangerous for young people.

  13. Mark Gaston says

    Are you serious?

    You do realize, don’t you, that it is quite common for someone to engage in an activity he knows (or in this case, believes) is harmful to him? That being the case, in varying degrees depending in the person, the strength of his will and his habitual dependency, I am unsure as to why you find it especially peculiar that the subject of your post would exhibit this extremely common and ubiquitous pattern of behavior.

    The situation is quite like an alcoholic who struggles daily to abstain, cognizant of the harmful effects that would be suffered were he to give in to his inclinations and deepest yearnings. Pill addicts, smokers, those addicted to [insert mostly anything].

    I suppose Zinnia would ridicule anyone who chooses to resist any urge of which she approves – a rather myopic, not to mention judgmental and uncaring, way to go about living.

    And, as a gay man (who does not asbtain from same-sex activity), I must admit to growing annoyed, even exasperated, at the constant refrain from some corners that anyone who voluntarily refrains from sexual activity is “denying his true self.” One’s entire ontological reality cannot be boiled down to one’s sexual proclivities, though this seems to be trending large in Western secularist society of late (along with a few other half-witted ideas not immediately relevant to the subject of this post).

      • Mark Gaston says

        I never said anything about an addiction, and I never said anything about “being gay.” What I said was thatstrong desires to partake of a particular activity (whether it is smoking crack, having gay or straight sex, masturbating, or creating origami) are often difficult to resist, and people often give into these activities even if they simultaneously believe the activity in question is harmful to them in some way.

        Zheesh, Steve. You could try reading and save us both some time.

    • Heather says

      Yeah….I think you’re missing the point here. Actually, two points.

      1. This man isn’t “addicted” to something harmful.
      2. To abstain from sex for a reason other than “I’m evil if I have sex” is understandable. To subscribe to the idea that you are evil, that God made you evil, is something else entirely.

      The point here has nothing to do with sex. He IS denying his true self – sex or not. He feels that gay is evil. He is gay. Therefore, he is denying his rue self, whether or not he has sex with anyone, male or female.

      • Mark Gaston says

        Heather, understood. But, two rebuttals, to play Devil’s advocate here:

        1. I never said anything about being addicted. See my response to unthinking Steve above. Also, whether or not engagement in same-sex activity is harmful to a person depends largely on that person’s worldview, as we can obviously see here.

        2. Are you positive that Matt Moore believes God made him evil? It’s possible, and I don’t know jack about him beyond this post, so correct me if I am wrong, but in case you didn’t know, it is not a tenet of traditional Christian thought that being gay is evil. I’ve never run into a Christian who believes that God made him evil – in fact that it completely antithetical to Christian thought. “Inclined to sin” – that’s another matter.

        As far as I understand it, Matt Moore doesn’t believe he is evil, but seems to think that same-sex activity is evil. Which is a crucially important distinction.

        And – just because I’m feeling feisty – even assuming that Matt Moore believes he is actually, objectively, irredeemably “evil” despite every effort at chastity, how exactly does that equate to “denying his true self”? Maybe he really is evil! LOL.

    • Paul Douglas says

      Mark,
      This clown is out promoting an anti LGBT agenda. He’s part of a political corps that would do anything they could and are doing everything they can, to oppose same-gender marriage and dissuade LGBT kids from healthy self-acceptance and potential life fulfillment. Nobody gives a flying crap about what he’s doing to himself (or not much). Its the web of poison he spreads with his new found fundagelical religion that is so destructive. This isn’t about him choosing to be celibate to become a healthy person. I did that myself for three years before I married my husband in the late ’90s. This is about his inability to imagine other gay men being healthy simply because he is such damaged goods himself. And spreading his self-projections on the innocent.
      Seriously, bro!

      • Mark Gaston says

        Paul,

        Listen, I completely understand that what Matt Moore is fighting for, both politically and in his personal/spiritual life, is not your cup of tea, to put it mildly. And I have no beef with that. It’s his prerogative to fight against same-sex marriage and “dissuade LGBT kids from healthy self-acceptance” and it’s yours to fight him and his ilk tooth and nail every inch of the way. That’s the beauty of freedom of speech, of thought, of conscience – all enlightenment ideals with which I’m sure we both agree.

        But if you read my original post, my only point was that Zinnia seems to be ridiculing Matt Moore for a behavior which is extremely common for people to engage in, a behavior I am sure Zinnia has engaged in herself on multiple occasions. Thought I don’t know her, she is human, and everyone at some point or another acts contrary to his conscience – unless of course, he doesn’t have a demanding conscience.

  14. Bon says

    Precisely. He’s simultaneously experiencing the need to punish himself (guilt feelings about something in his childhood perhaps?) and he’s conflating that with fundie Christianity. People are complicated.

  15. Rick Sterman says

    Would love to speak to this young man, being brought up in a Catholic atmosphere gives me much sympathy for the depth and breadth of the emotions he is struggling with.

    If I could tell him anything, would be that God is ALWAYS testing us, and this test is of the letter of the law versus the spirit of the law.

    Whether to listen to one’s mind or to one’s heart.

    Jesus came and preached LOVE, above ALL things he preached LOVE. HE never said word one about being gay. The Ten Commandments covers a lot of ground, and AGAIN, there is nothing there about being homosexual.

    Your heart KNOWS that love is love, but your brain tells you the Bible words say this other thing – and THAT is the test. Not just for gays, but for all Christians.

    Put your chips on the table and go ALL IN on love, go with your heart.

    Doesn’t give license to have constant sex with anyone and everyone, gay or straight, but when you find someone you LOVE, THEN you let your heart guide you.

    God wouldn’t have given people these feelings for no reason, and God doesn’t make mistakes. We see homosexuality in other areas of the natural world, and while we don’t know the reason for it, there IS a reason.

    We should assume that God should explain the why of how we love each other??

    Not everyone is supposed to be the same, is what makes us stronger as a species.

    No offense to any of these churches, but this issue is between YOU and God, these other people are playing politics with your soul. Get away from them.

    Ask God for permission to follow your heart, then go out and find someone to love, and love them with all your heart. That love will spill over into kindness to others and your life will be far closer to the example Jesus set than what any of those groups will get you.

    Time alone with God, work it out, find permission to love without guilt, then do it.

    Is what I’d say if I could talk to you….

    • millerbeach says

      Well said, Rick. This issue really is between him and God, as it is with all of us, all of us are God’s children. He never makes a mistake. Never.

  16. says

    The Story of an Exhomosexual Jesus Emilio Carbonell :
    when I was a boy, I began to feel same sex attractions. I later became involved with older homosexuals and bisexual men. Before deciding to do my transition, I lived my life as a regula homosexual man., I met a man who I thought was a woman. We spent a great deal of time together. Few Months later I was on my way to becoming a transgender woman, like my friends.
    Time passed by and I was happy with the changes, my personality was diferent.However, as the time went by, I became depressed. I was never able to be happy. I was in love with a guy who did not care about me, it was all in vain: He left me for someone else. Later I fell ill with HIV and HepC with cirhossis.
    In the homosexual and transgender life, youth is very important I was obsessed personal appearance. At one point, I was so depressed and lonely that I wanted to kill myself. After much suffering from abusing drugs and sex , being very sick in the hospital and spending long days at the Psychiatric Hospital, I wanted to change my life.
    Jesus Christ called me out. I stopped abusing drugs and dressing as a woman . I began to look like the real me. I was a new creature. I began to meet with people who were Christians. And they loved me unconditionally.
    I knew Jesus did not want me to live that life. He had made me whole in His love. I began to experience a confidence that I had never had before.
    I pray to my Lord to move me to the next step so that He will continue to work in my Healing. . I have been changed by His HOLY SPIRIT, when GOD is in you, your life will never be the same. JESUS CHRIST is the most powerful experience that ever happened to me!!!!!
    http://exhomosexualjesus.com/ENGLISH-LINKS.html

    • millerbeach says

      Wow, did Jesus teach you to lie so badly? Congrats, as you just committed a MORTAL SIN by bearing false witness. Better get back to that church, as you still have a LOT of work to do before Jesus can forgive you for your MORTAL SIN of bearing false witness. Jesus would not lie…neither should you. Thanks for playing, try again.

    • Rick Sterman says

      If you are so sure your Christian friends love you unconditionally, then let them know you are gay.

      Then see how many still ‘love’ you….

      Those are your REAL friends….

  17. Jean says

    Dear Matt-

    You are not ex gay. You are very much gay even though you would rather be something else.
    Your story is typical of people who claim to be ex gay.

    Wake up and smell the coffee. You could grow some more and one day have a really meaningful relationship with some guy that makes you a better person. But the life you are living now is making you very small and you will regret it.

  18. Al in SoCal says

    He won’t ever be on Grindr again, he’s since switched to Scruff where he’s hoping nobody will recognize him.

  19. says

    I empathize with this man. It is not easy to reconcile a homosexual tendency with a Christian Faith. I was a gay porn actor and homosexual activist for many years. I spent a decade trying to find happiness in that world. After having a brush with death, I realized that only in Our Lord Jesus Christ could I find peace. Its not an easy road, but a blessed one.
    Joseph Sciambra
    josephsciambra.com

    Link to my book:
    swallowedbysatan.com

    • says

      It is not easy to reconcile a homosexual tendency with a Christian Faith.

      Sure it is — just remember: a) neither the Ten commandments nor Jesus himself ever said anything about homosexuality; b) the people who hate gays and gayness are acting in total disregard for ANY of Christ’s actual teachings, so none of them can credibly claim their hateful BS is based on Christian doctrine; and c) what’s important is now WHO you love, it’s HOW YOU TREAT THOSE YOU LOVE. If you treat other people the way Jesus advised us to do, then what else is there to “reconcile?”

  20. Josell says

    Well, he is a man because he admitted it. I don’t think he is a bad or hypocritical christian because he did wrong again. In fact, we all make mistakes sometimes.

    You can believe that homosexuality is a sin, yet be a gay. Why? Because, as humans, we desire wrong things. Some people desire to have sex with children, yet they do know that is wrong. Of corse, I’m not comparing homosexuality with pedophilia, but the idea in this case is the same: sometimes you cannot let go something that -you think- is wrong.

    So, what is hypocresy? Hypocresy is to lie with actions. If your intention is to be gay and say you aren’t, then your are hypocritical. However, this case is not hypocresy, but a mistake, since he does believe that homosexuality is a sin and he does admit his mistakes.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] “I am wrong in having been on grindr. I haven’t changed my views on homosexuality, the bible, etc.,” he said to Jones. “Creating a grindr profile and talking to guys on it was major disobedience on my part….disobedience to Christ. Disobedience to a loving and gracious God. Thankfully, I believe that He forgives me for this disobedience. I believe the blood of Christ covers this disobedience. And I won’t be on grindr again….ever.” [...]

  2. [...] On se tue à le leur répéter: ils ne peuvent pas passer leur temps à prévenir les foules contre le péché mortel de la sodomie et flirter sur Grindr en même temps! Ainsi Matt Moore, un des contributeurs les plus fervents des blogs du Christian Post, un site ultraréac américain, s’est-il fait flasher sur l’application de drague gay, rapporte la bloggeuse Zinnia Jones. [...]

  3. [...] “He cometido un error entrando en Grindr”, ha declarado Moore. “Mi forma de pensar sobre la homosexualidad, la biblia, etc. no ha cambiado. [...] Crear un perfil en Grindr y usarlo para hablar con otros hombres ha constituido una grave desobediencia por mi parte… desobediencia a Cristo. Desobediencia a un Dios compasivo y bondadoso. Afortunadamente, pienso que Él me perdonará [...] No volveré a entrar en Grindr nunca… jamás”. [...]

  4. [...] “He cometido un error entrando en Grindr”, declaraba entonces Moore, que añadía que no volvería a conectarse a la red social “nunca más”. El bloguero ha intentado explicar que “solo quería ver quién había ahí y quién estaba a mi alrededor”. “Estaba intentando quedar con alguien para pegarme a él como una lapa, básicamente” y poder salir “a los bares gays de Nueva Orleans”. [...]

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