In news that should surprise no one, Donald Trump is at the center of complaints and a lawsuit alleging he scammed $40 million from hopeful applicants to something called Trump University. According to the suit, Trump U is not a university and was instead merely a vessel to charge people for the privilege of listening to a more sophisticated sales pitch persuading them to spend even more money on equally useless seminars at Trump U:
Gotamist — According to Schneiderman, Trump’s scheme involved getting people to sign up for a $1,495 three-day seminar, which was just a springboard for pitching the “Trump Elite Mentorship” programs that cost $10K to $35K.
In the seminar, participants were allegedly “encouraged to call their credit card companies during breaks, to increase their credit limits to have access to funds to do real estate deals.” Naturally, “the real reason Trump University asked consumers to request higher credit limits was so they could use the credit to pay for the expensive Elite programs.”
All the while, Trump promised “hand-picked” instructors. “We’re gonna teach you better than the business schools are gonna teach you,” Trump tells a strange, unidentified man in the video below. “We’re gonna teach you life.”
Oh, they taught a life lesson alright.
Can you imagine someone like Trump trying to get a job in today’s market without the benefit of his mythos, wealth, and celebrity? How might that interview go?
“Hi … Donald is it? I noticed in your resume there’s not much about job skills. What kind of applications and programs have you used or helped develop in the past and on what jobs?”
“I’m a blow hard who pretends to fire people on youTube … that’s a program! When do I get my first paycheck?”
“Umm, no, that’s not the kind of program I was asking about. But we always have positions for those who are happy to fire much less fortunate people. If you’re familiar with termination processes, the Equal Opportunity Act, hold those basic HR certifications and they are current and in good standing, can multi-task and think outside the box, are willing to put in 60 hours a week doing our dirtiest work, willing to volunteer to being run over by the corporate bus at the first sign of a lawsuit with merit, and are a self-organizing enthusiastic go-getter able to properly create and file related CYA documentation and procedures, we might have a fit in theory. What are you salary expectations and experience in this field?”
“Pay me $1500 an hour for my seminar covering salary negotiations and credit card advances, and you’ll never be taken advantage of again!”
“Sir .. the job I’m referring to starts as an unpaid intern, after 30 days you might make it to a temp at $11/hr, after 90 days if you exceed our expectations as a temp there is a chance you might be hired directly for the same rate. In which case you would qualify for basic health insurance 90 days after that.”
“What? I pay my dead dog’s wetback grave-digger more than that! You’re FIRED!”
“No, Mr Trump, you’re NOT hired … SECURITY!?!”