The ground shakes, the sky darkens, an unholy union between a Master Orc and goblin minions forged deep in the darkest bowels of Mordor cleaves in twain: Dick Armey has left Freedom Works. This evil entity was arguably most responsible for funding and organizing and therefore elevating a nascent Teaparty. It was Armey’s Works who first saw crazy people in homemade colonial period costume ranting incoherently about the president’s birth certificate next to a van down by the river, and imagined the same crazy people in designer suits ranting about birth certificates on Fox News. No one is saying for sure why the Works are going Dickless, this is an organization that really values Dicks, the bigger the Dick the more they like it, so it’s quite the juicy little mystery:
Hunter DKos — This is actually a damn interesting development. We don’t know the details of why Armey decided to abruptly part ways with the group (initial reports hint at perhaps some drama involving money and book deals), but he makes it sound like the group was just too damn unprincipled even for him, Dick Armey.
Which leads to the obvious question — given all the nonsense FreedomWorks associated itself under Armey, what the heck could they possibly be up to that made notorious astroturfing jackass Armey want to bow out only now? As some pundit once brightly opined, it would be irresponsible not to speculate, so I’m going to say it has something to do with ritual puppy sacrifice.