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Dec 01 2012

God’s feelings hurt when you don’t use fossil fuels

The annual bleg

I kid you not, Raw Story has the story. Everyone’s favorite wingnut Bryan Fischer knows why we should burn every last drop of oil and coal: because God-eh will be hurt if do not:

Link — Fischer likened the situation to a birthday present he was given at the age of six. “I opened up a birthday present that I didn’t like, and I said it right out, ‘Oh, I don’t like those,’” the radio host recalled. “And it just crushed — and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, ‘I don’t like those.’ And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that… And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”

Evil Doug makes a good point in comments: “How does Fischer know this god thing isn’t po’d because we were given solar energy and we can’t do a good job of using it? I think the stories include something about creation of the sun, but I don’t think they make any mention of coal or oil or natural gas. Anyway, all those things are obtained from the traditional direction of Hell, not Heaven.”

12 comments

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  1. 1
    Argle Bargle

    Fischer is becoming a parody of himself.

  2. 2
    Emu Sam

    He should read alicorn’s gift protocols, particularly A7:

    Q7. But I really enjoy surprising people with presents.

    A7. The disposition to enjoy doing things to others that cause those others displeasure is called “sadism”. Sadism should only be practiced with consenting partners. Surprise causes me displeasure. I do not consent to experience that displeasure so that you can experience your enjoyment.

  3. 3
    evilDoug

    How does Fischer know this god thing isn’t po’d because we were given solar energy and we can’t do a good job of using it? I think the stories include something about creation of the sun, but I don’t think they make any mention of coal or oil or natural gas. Anyway, all those things are obtained from the traditional direction of Hell, not Heaven.
    Or maybe it is wind that is supposed to be used. Every so often, poor god sends copious amounts of wind as hints, and all that happens is a bunch of things cave in.
    How many churches put up lightning rods, tricking god into thinking that they will make good use of all that energy when it is sent, when in reality they just waste it.

    Listen, Fischer, you dumb fuck. You don’t have an abundance of fuel. Your profligate country squanders it on hummers and car lot lights and Las Vegas. It encourages the morons in my province to try to unload what we have as quickly and cheaply as possible (because it is just silly to hang onto any of it until it is worth ten times as much).

  4. 4
    Stephen "DarkSyde" Andrew

    That is a very good point Doug.

  5. 5
    Acolyte of Sagan

    I suppose Fischer also believes that once we’ve used all of the oil, coal and gas, his god will wave his magic wand and refill the voids? I’m thinking that maybe he could ask his god to put it all a little closer to the surface next time; I’ve been down to the coal faces of a couple of mines and I can tell you that just getting to the face is an ordeal in itself, plus it’s as hot as Hell down there, (just as evilDoug hints at at #3 above), and the air is pretty much unbreathable; that’s no place for God’s favoured creation!

  6. 6
    eoraptor013

    You guys don’t get it: There’s plenty of coal and oil to last us until the Rapture… or the Mayan end of days… or something.

  7. 7
    Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner

    This sounds like the sort of guy who’d also want us to hunt every single edible animal to extinction. After all, god has kindly provided those to us as well.

  8. 8
    comfychair

    See this is the kind of thing a person could only come up with if their basis for morality was built upon the rock-solid foundation of an old book that basically says “a bad thing is bad, except if it’s done by God, in which case it’s no longer a bad thing but a good thing, because something something we’re not supposed to question it so there; I win and you’re GOING TO HELL.”

  9. 9
    jakc

    back in his oil days, GWB drilled a lot of dry holes (well, I don’t think he ever struck oil), and I believe that the saying in Texas was that GWB drilled his holes, and his daddy’s friends filled them up with money.

    I don’t know that GWB is really a fundamentalist, but if he is, than it doesn’t surprise me that he couldn’t find oil. if you think that the world is only 6,000 years old, it’s hard to have a coherent theory of how oil is created and where it should be. I guess you just have to think, “well, that looks like the kind of rock formation that god likes to embed oil in.”

    having a fair number of friends in the oil business, guys with engineering degrees who are conservative but not religious, I find it amazing that they can willingly support anti-science yahoos when their daily work demonstrates to them the correctness of science.

  10. 10
  11. 11
    mikecline

    Jake makes me think, even though the oil barons and steel magnates of old were cold hearted evil bastards, they at least appreciated science and didn’t make religion a part of how they made money or destroyed the Earth.. at least they had that.

  12. 12
    Valde

    #3 evildoug

    you from alberta?

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