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Nov 26 2011

Evolution fantasy!

We get hate mail at Daily Kos and post the best every Saturday for Hate-mail-a-palooza. This week we got a real gem from the rabid mind of a creationist victim titled Evolution Fantasy(!), reproduced in whole below the fold for your holiday reading pleasure.

Evolution FANTASY!

It’s interesting that you continue to promote the evolution cult even though its becoming incresingly clear that evolution has no basis in fact. Let’s see what’s going on? At my kid’s school they started teaching evolution and it looks like it’s even more ridiculous than I thought: The idea is that some fish stayed in the sea while other fish went to live on land where they then evolved OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS into elephants and humans and such! OK, why don’t you show me a fish that can survive a day on land let alone years, Mr. Evolutionist? The whole idea is so stupid that it really is more of a cult than anything else. ALso, If there once were fish on land then we should be finding barracudas in the sahara desert and whales in utah, correct? why haven’t we found any? BECAUSE FISH NEVER CAME ON LAND YOU IDIOT!

Biblical creation is a fact even if it insults your leftist sensiblities. We were created by God, not by fish wandering (???????) around the american continent randomly changing into bears and squirrels. Why is metal stronger than plastic? Becaude metal was created by God and plastic was created by Man. Why is the Bible stronger than your beloved Communist manifesto? Because the Bible was inspired by God and Communist manifesto was inspired by one man’s insanity. The works of God can never be fully understood by Man, but they can and should be admired and rspected, not ridiculed with evoultionist nonsense. You must be pretty stupid to believe evolutionist nonsense even though there is zero evidence to support your cult and plenty of evidence to disprove it (no fossil record! the human eye for example has been shown to be too complex to have been randomly appeared!).

But what I don’t understand is this: There are many things taught at schools that have nothing to with God or the Bible, like Math, English or PE, so why do you have to bring your atheist cult nonsense into the one subject (biology) that very clearly is defined in the Bible? Maybe because your idea is not to teach kids but to wage war on the faithful? Well here’s some news for you: We Christians have always been persecuted for our beliefs and we continue to be persecuted by the liberal-atheist elite. But we will survive and prevail because we stand with God, not Darwin&Marx and also Hitler (atheist/evolutionist) and Stalin (also atheist/evolutionist). God has brought us peace and proseprity, while evolution has brought us the Holocaust and communism. Take your pick.

23 comments

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  1. 1
    Irreverend Bastard

    Scientists remain baffled as to how exactly scores of whales ended up in a desert more than half a mile from the sea.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2063973/Whales-desert-Prehistoric-bones-unearthed-Chiles-Atacama-desert.html

    Proof of evolution!

  2. 2
    Brother Yam

    That was a thing of beauty. I’d have to give that a 4 out of 5 straightjackets…

  3. 3
    Stephen "DarkSyde" Andrew

    Thank you Yam. And for those of you more familiar with the Systeme Evangelica, 4 out of 5 straitjackets equates to a full 800 milli-Hovinds.

  4. 4
    den1s

    Is there no name associated with that email?

  5. 5
    ogremk5

    I don’t know what’s worse, the attack on what he thinks is evolution are the absolute failure to use a single actual fact.

  6. 6
    jakc

    Man, this is just run off the mill fundamentalist crazy. Maybe all of the great fundamentalist crazy is gone, kinda like there’s no irony after Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize.

  7. 7
    Balstrome

    This is so sweet, I am willing to bet it is written by a young teenager, who has just give his soul to Jesus and FoxNews. But seriously, you Americans better wise up or you will get left behind. You need to do a lot about the damage that is being done to your intellectual capital, the Apollo projects where decades ago, and you need something new to keep that leadership, if you still want it, that is.

  8. 8
    New England Bob

    That guy has got to be the epitome of ignorance. He must have gone at least through fourth grade because his writing is at that level. It is possible that he dictated the rant of stupidity. He is a classic example of the failure of the educational system to instill even a few facts into his head.

    What state does that moran live in? I would guess Alabama, Mississippi or that area.

  9. 9
    frankb

    “Hey Mom, what does shifting population genetics and geological time mean?”

    “Oh Heavens, Son! Don’t say such words! They are from the devil, pay them no mind.”

  10. 10
    lsamaknight

    show me a fish that can survive a day on land let alone years

    Sure. But your paying for your own ticket to Queensland so you can come see our lungfish.

    Why is metal stronger than plastic?

    Actually where rigidity is required, a lot of plastics are stronger than metal (depending on the metal, the plastic and the exact situation of course).

    Just my take on two of the more glaring errors.

  11. 11
    laurentweppe

    At my kid’s school they started teaching evolution and it looks like it’s even more ridiculous than I thought

    You know what people should do: show this old cartoon and watch the mix of evolution and Bach provoke a meltdown of fundie parents’ brains.

  12. 12
    kraut

    “We were created by God, not by fish wandering (???????) around the american continent randomly changing into bears and squirrels

    Why is metal stronger than plastic? Becaude metal was created by God and plastic was created by Man.”

    A thing of beauty to behold, an idiocy so pronounced it turns into deep knowledge of absolutely nothing.

  13. 13
    pastasauceror

    IMHO, almost certainly a poe. Mentions far too many “hot button” issues and even sets him/her self up for easy debunking (like the land fish part). Also the right wing versus left wing stuff, just smacks of hot buttoning.

  14. 14
    dgently

    Just the knowledge that this and it’s ilk exist in the world is enough to send me to the liquor cabinet. Nurse!

  15. 15
    meg

    @10 lsamaknight – beat me to it.

    We also have quite a number of fossils from the Outback here that are definitely sea creatures.
    And we can always do with the tourist dollars. . . :)

  16. 16
    Shplane, Spess Alium

    that was so dumb i forgot how to use capitalization and punctuation

    thanks fundie fucknut

  17. 17
    raymills

    I was talking to an elderly polish man who comes through work recently. This time was a bit different, he told me he was a survivor of Auschwitz. He was sent there when he was just 15. While we were talking about it, he told me one of his memories, one of the SS guards calling him to the side in a quarry, and giving him a sandwich, something that would have got them both executed. The other thing he commented on was he blamed the white christian hegemony, not atheism for allowing the holocaust to happen. So on the subject of who was responsible fot the holocaust shall we defer to someone who was there to witness it?

    700 from his area went, 10 survived. 3 are still alive today. He is one of the happiest most cheerful people I have ever met.

  18. 18
    dust

    Fuckin’ plastics, how do they work?

  19. 19
    janiceintoronto

    I call POE

  20. 20
    ozarkhillbilly

    I was going to comment that letters like this are proof positive that evolution is pure fantasy because surely 4 billion years of evolution would have weeded out such stupidity. But to do so I had to jump thru a minor hoop here, a minor hoop there only to receive a password like wKT8PPsTLk3G (not the real password so don’t even try it) with no option of changing it so that I might actually be able to remember it. I began to rethink my sarcasm…. Maybe there really is a God because surely such stupidity could not exist without Her benign and benevolent neglect?

    I will go back to lurking now because I really can’t think of a single reason why I should waste the necessary brain cells remembering that ridiculous password or even the necessary time to copy it down somewhere so I can jump thru hoops every time I think my sarcasm might contribute to something which will be forgotten in the next day or 2.

    (seriously guys, give up the password BS. I have been caving for 25 years. My name is on innumerable maps. In the past decade I have come to the realization that it is pure hubris to think that what I do contributes to science in a meaningful way. In the next 100 yrs? Sure. The next 1,000 years? Possibly. The next 10,000 years??? Doubtful. The next 100,000 years? Give me a break.)(I do it anyway still. Because… well, I still draw breath into my lungs, don’t I?

    And the internet moves at 116,493,217,658,492,117 times the speed of geology… Nothing we say here means….

    .

  21. 21
    ozarkhillbilly

    squat.

  22. 22
    humanape

    I agree the whole thing is satire. Very well done. Nice godwin’s law stuff at the end. The last sentence, “Take your pick”, is exactly what I would expect from an atheist.

    Human Ape

  23. 23
    robb

    lol @ lungfish.

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