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Nov 22 2011

Herman Cain: putting the fun back in fundamentalist

This is one of many reasons why Herman Cain would make a scary proprieter for teh nukular codes: his apparent sincere belief in state-sanctioned magic and utter disregard for science, even when the stakes are life and death:

(Yahoo News) — He begins with a story about how he knew he would survive when he discovered that his physician was named “Dr. Lord,” that the hospital attendant’s name was “Grace” and that the incision made on his chest during the surgery would be in the shape of a “J.” [...] [Cain] did have a slight worry at one point during the chemotherapy process when he discovered that one of the surgeon’s name was “Dr. Abdallah.” “I said to his physician assistant, I said, ‘That sounds foreign–not that I had anything against foreign doctors–but it sounded too foreign,” Cain tells the audience. “She said, ‘He’s from Lebanon.’ Oh, Lebanon! My mind immediately started thinking, wait a minute, maybe his religious persuasion is different than mine! She could see the look on my face and she said, ‘Don’t worry, Mr. Cain, he’s a Christian from Lebanon.’”

“Hallelujah!” Cain says. “Thank God!”

Doesn’t Cain sound a little too much like a guy who deals crack cocaine? But hey, now that I’ve brought that up let’s all completely ignore it and agree it doesn’t matter. And if you quote me on that you’re lying.

Update via Scottlofty in comments: I don’t have the facts to back this up, but Cain sounds like the name of a man that would murder his own brother.

6 comments

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  1. 1
    scottlofty

    I don’t have the facts to back this up but Cain sounds like the name of a man that would murder his own brother.

  2. 2
    Phillip IV

    That sounds foreign–not that I had anything against foreign doctors–but it sounded too foreign.

    I really don’t mind foreigners at all. As long as it’s done in moderation, of course. I mean, actually being from a foreign country is clearly over the line, but as long as you’re only a bit swarthy or have a queer name, I’ll still let you use my toilet. Conservative tolerance at its finest.

    So I guess Cain’s suggestion for healthcare reform come done to mandatory name changes for doctors and nurses?

    Well, that’s probably still the best suggestion emerging from the field of the Republican candidates up to now…

  3. 3
    Stephen "DarkSyde" Andrew

    Promoted!

  4. 4
    d cwilson

    That sounds foreign–not that I had anything against foreign doctors–but it sounded too foreign.

    I wonder what units he uses to measure just how “foreign” a name sounds?

  5. 5
    stephenyeats

    D cwilson

    The main unit is probably the “Allah’, which is 1000 ‘Ali’s”, which is in turn 10 “Mohammeds / Mahmuts”, and so forth

  6. 6
    marcus

    Mom is that you? Is he my dad? Signed, Cartman

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