Stop telling black women what to do with their hair or skin!

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A woman’s body seems to be the one thing everyone wants to control. Country, religion or even gender is not a barrier, everyone wants to tell a woman what to do with her body and that include her fellow women.  No surprise there, even ‘gods’ seems obsessed with women, but really what is this growing trend amongst women who should know better, telling other women what to do with their hair and/or skin? Why are many black women focused on controlling other sisters’ bodies, hairs and skins? What is all this talk about black African women accusing other black sisters of not being African enough because of their choice of hair style or body cream?

Since the craze for Brazilian weaves, Chinese weaves and even human hair amongst black African women, with a large demand from Nigerian women, many African men and some women have come out to condemn this as a sign of inferiority complex. It is becoming mundane to come across yet another post from fellow women and some self-styled ‘Real Africans’, questioning the choice of black women who use chemicals on their hair or skin. [Read more…]

London Pride 2013: The Parade, The Protest, The Pride.

I love attending Pride. It might have a lot to do with the fact that I come from a country where staging anything close to Pride would get you stoned to death with no remorse from your murderers. In fact, the State would gladly decorate your murderers with state medals, the pastors would declare them worthy warriors for Christ and everyone would blame you for daring to flaunt your evil lifestyle choice! 1044301_10201428609819815_1606103747_n

I value freedom, I value democracy, I value equality, I believe diversity is the natural spice of life and equality trumps all. It therefore saddens me that in many countries, people would be killed if they dared to stage what is now taken for granted in some parts of the world; Pride.

Pride is a protest; yes some think it has lost a lot of its protest value and now just another avenue for big organizations to make profits. Some say they do not attend pride anymore because it seems it is now all about showing off, getting drunk and strutting on the street half naked. Some are angry that the new generations who now freely participate in pride do not understand or value the price the older generation paid for them to be able to stage a pride.

I think pride should still be enjoyed by the old and new generation. The mere fact that you can freely stage a pride on the street with guaranteed state protection is something to celebrate. It was not always the case. Such diversity, such freedom, such protection needs to be celebrated not boycotted. Bear in mind that it is not yet Uhuru for sexual minorities even in UK. Same-sex couples are still fighting for marriage equality. Homophobia still exists and transsexuals can still get killed on the streets of London. [Read more…]

Rachel Jeantel is not on trial: Judging her accent is a show of your ignorance not hers.

What a sad society we live in with people valuing appearances more than content. Hypocrites who in their own actions and judgments are no less racist than Zimmerman who shot a black boy because he thought his black skin did not belong in his precious white neigbourhood. Now, those racists think Rachel Jeantel’s accent and mannerisms do not belong in their posh court.

Rachel Jeantel was herself in the courtroom when she bravely stood up to testify as a crucial witness in the court. Even though It was not a spotlight she wanted, it was not a scenario she hoped for, it was not even a publicity she embraced, yet she did her duty and stood up in that courtroom to ensure justice or at least the semblance of justice for a friend whose life was cut short by the bullet of someone who felt ‘threatened’ by his skin colour. Rachel Jeantel has every right to be herself in that courtroom. 171552081

And shame to all the self loathing blacks who says she gives a black woman a bad name. Her accent, her weight, her mannerisms, her skin or hair is not what is on trial; it is the murderer of her friend that is on trial.  You should be ashamed of yourself for being diverted by such trivial as her weight or accent which btw is none of your business.

Unfortunately some black people don’t get it too. The fact that she does not speak perfect English in a ‘polish’ accent does not make her a bad representation of Black American women. I have not watched her court testimony in full, but nothing, absolutely nothing justifies the terrible image many including some blacks are painting of her just because they think she exemplifies the stereotypical Black “hood rat”.

This 18 year old young woman should not be expected to suddenly transform into another person just because she is taking the witness stand to testify in the murder case of her 17 year old black friend Trayvon Martin, who was murdered by a racist. [Read more…]

Cultural Censorship: My Coming Out Is Not A Threat To Your Closet!

309588_268567446510551_121692274531403_901024_424303210_nI do a double take whenever I hear the words “Your coming out is threatening the safety of closeted gays” and the addendum “Protesting ‘Anti Same Sex’ bills and homophobic behavior is a threat to closeted gays, please stop the protests”.

Really, I mean, really?

Recently on a facebook group, an African who identifies as queer recently called me selfish for daring to come out as bisexual and for protesting against oppression of LGBTs. She suggested that African lesbians and gays should be discrete and not flaunt their love-life. Well, she wasn’t the first African to suggest this ‘do not flaunt your same-sex love life’ bit. It really is sad and that is why I have decided to write a blog post about this issue.

What exactly qualifies as flaunting ones’ love-life?

Is it that goodbye kiss at the train station?

The hand-in-hand walk you take with your lover when the weather permits?

Or the dance you have together at that office party?

I see heterosexuals do all these every day and no one ever accused them of flaunting their love life, in fact it is often referred to as ‘celebrating their love’ but when it is a same sex couple, it suddenly becomes ‘flaunting’.

Also, to the best of my knowledge, no lesbian, gay, bisexual or Trans has ever stoned anyone to death for being heterosexual. However many LGBTs risk this possibility in my beloved country, Nigeria, where it is actually legal in the northern part of the country to stone homosexuals to death.

Why should my having a love life and expressing my love openly like every other normal adult, be considered as ‘flaunting’ simply because my lover and I are of the same sex? Why should my being in love with a same-sex adult and celebrating my love lead to 14 years imprisonment or public stoning?

More importantly, why should closeted gays try to stop me from being OUT and PROUD?

Why the censorship? [Read more…]

SENATE PRESIDENT DAVID MARK IS OFFICIALLY AN IGNORAMUS AND A LEADER OF HYPOCRITES

It is said that followers get the leaders they deserve, so it is not surprising that Nigerians are led by hypocrites.

According to National Mirror: http://nationalmirroronline.net/new/no-going-back-on-anti-same-sex-bill-mark/

“No going back on anti-same sex bill –Mark”

“Senate President David Mark has said the decision of the National Assembly to ban same-sex marriage in the country was irreversible. Mark, according to a statement, said this at a dinner hosted in his honour by the Nigerian Community imark-612x300n Prague, Czech Republic, yesterday.”

‘The Senate president explained that the bill, which has been approved by both chambers of the National Assembly, would not in any way infringe on the rights of Nigerians.’

He said: “The law against same-sex marriage is an approval of the wishes of the generality of Nigerians who are desirous of living within our cultural bounds. “The law is not designed to infringe on the human rights of Nigerians in any way.

Hmm.. he probably does not consider Nigerian Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans as Nigerians or even Humans.

“Also, wherever you go in our country today, our people are completely in support of the National Assembly because the practice of same-sex, as you all know, is alien to us.”

I wonder if the famed orgies with his wives and mistresses are not alien to Africa. [Read more…]

Free Amina Tyler NOW: It is her body, her choice, her right!

Few months ago, Amina Tyler, a Tunisian woman, posted two photos of herself topless on Facebook.Amina-Tyler

The first image showed Amina with the words “Fuck your morals” written across her chest.

The second image has the words “My body belongs to me and is not the source of anyone’s honor” written in Arabic.

Since that episode, she has been hounded by Islamist conservatives who felt she has violated their honour by posting nude pictures of herself.

Whose body, whose honour?

After months of reportedly going into hiding, the outspoken Tunisian feminist who sparked a trend of “topless jihad” has been found and arrested by Tunisian authorities earlier this week and may be charged for conducting “provocative acts.”

What part of “My body belongs to me” don’t these idiots understand? If a woman wants to post nude pictures of herself on the internet, it is her body, her choice, her right. It has nothing to do with your moronic honour. FREE AMINA TYLER NOW!

This is my body; I have the right to do whatever I want with it. If I am not harming you, the decisions have nothing to do with you.

I have the right to post nude pictures of myself online. I have the right to use my body as a canvass, tattoo it or pierce it.

 

This is my body, I have the right to birth control, to abortion, to have sex with consensual adults regardless of their gender. I do not have to put up with your sermonizing or attempts to legislate over my body. [Read more…]

The cancer called Religion!

547752_422632627783136_13988685_nThere is a cancer in town; it is not a new disease, in fact, it has been around ever since humans started creating Gods. It has always been dangerous; however, with inducements and profits to be made, it gets more dangerous! Its most potent strategy of invasion is through indoctrination.

Infected persons indoctrinate children; they are also commanded to infect others. People who are not infected or already cured can still be affected by this cancer as the actions of infected persons have consequences on the lives of the uninfected. [Read more…]

Accents and the Tragedy of Self-Hate

I recently started Video blogging and with it came the barrage of opinionated comments on my looks, appearance and quite interestingly, my accent! YEMMY IN JAPAN

I have never been self conscious about my accent.  I started making guest appearances on National TV programs almost two decades ago as a young human rights activist and vocal feminist. I remember the first time I appeared on one of the ‘posh’ Women’s programs which at the time passed as a ‘feminist’ TV show, I was immediately approached after the show by the popular presenter who told me, “Yemisi, you were really brilliant on the show, it would be great if we could get you to lose the accent”. Well, it happened that the presenter also ran a ‘Finishing school’ for girls … hmm do not ask me why a “feminist’ TV show presenter had a “Finishing school for girls’’… well, this is Nigeria we are talking about, and feminism, like many assumed “imported” ideology comes with its colonial baggage!

Anyway, she was so impressed with myyemy ituc points but not so impressed with my accent that she offered me a free session in her ‘Finishing school’ to get rid of my accent. I remember asking her why I would want to be rid of my accent. I mean, I wasn’t self conscious about my accent, especially since Nigeria is a diverse country with many local dialects and accent is one of the ways you immediately identify where a person is from.  Well, the young me was told that getting rid of my accent would be great for my profile, I declined her ‘priceless’ offer and  insisted that  I’d rather keep my accent as it is an integral part of my identity.

That was almost two decades ago. I have since gone ahead to speak at many national and international events, sometimes with heads of states and diplomats present. I have made a few speeches at UN meetings, appeared on a live televised round table debate with former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and some other world leaders, but I never for a minute felt self conscious about my accent, and well, my audience never really complained and they mostly seemed to appreciate what I had to say. Shows you should choose your audience well! [Read more…]

I AM A WOMAN AND I AM WEEPING!

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The tears won’t stop seeping

Like a river it keeps flowing

At my heart it tugs, nipping

My eyes are bleeding

My nose keeps running

They say I should slow it

But all they do is blow it

Teardrops just like crystals

Not mine alone but all sisters!

 

I am a woman and I am weeping

On my feet I keep thinking

The dreams I have to maintain

The tears I cannot curtail

From day to night I toil

In the fields I till the soil

Bent over with hands, this I can bear

Hoping my behind I wouldn’t have to bare

For the children and the aged I have to care

The burdens sometimes leave me bare!

 

I am a woman and I am weeping

In the boardroom I am seething

They negotiate my seat

As I take in all the heat

It matters not that I have the brains

The body is what they want to drain

With my pen poised I stand on the stool

But they tell me brain is not the tool

As all they want is my body to drool

And for me to play the fool!

 

I am a woman and I am weeping

From the corners I am peeping

Paving the streets in my high heels

Hoping the deals I can now seal

My health and safety are at risk

But the children can’t eat sticks

In the boardroom, on the street

It matters not where I sit

My brain makes me an expert

But all they want is a Sexpert!

 Yemisi Ilesanmi speaking at the London 2010 July Pride

I am a woman and I am weeping

I fight the system but hope is fleeting

The streets I keep combing

While my heart keeps sobbing

How long shall I be suppressed

Now they say I am depressed

I do not need a mental operation

What I hate is this oppression

You can keep your psychiatry

While I kick your patriarchy!

 BY © YEMISI ILESANMI

I AM COMING OUT!

I AM COMING OUT!

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I am coming out, out of my shell

Long under the influence of your spells

Locked away in your antique culture cell

Where no one could hear me yell

I had screamed all in vain

Only I could feel the pain

It is time to break the chains

The ghosts of the past I must slay

Weighed down by societal shackles

Banging to be out, proud and sparkle

 

I am coming out, out of my shell

Doing away with your lying shields

It is unnatural, you scream

You will burn in hell, you preach

Fires and brimstones you rake

From your societal grip I break

In angry defence the truth I seek

To be free, to be me, I must speak

Coming out, head high, sets me free

I am proud, out and ready to peak [Read more…]

SLAP SOME SENSE INTO BISHOP DAVID OYEDEPO!

I am angry, not just angry but very, very angry. I am indignant, not just for myself but on behalf of many sisters especially the voiceless sisters! If you are not angry after watching the infamous video of Bishop Oyedepo slapping a young girl to the thunderous applause of his church members, you are also a target of my anger!

 It is said that “Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction”. Present day examples abound, e.g.  

“Homosexuality is a sin, let us kill Gays”

“Witchcraft is evil, let us slap young witches”

“I am the chosen one; therefore I will bomb out all others from my holy land”

“Sorcery is a sin; let us behead its practitioners”

 “Adultery is a sin, let us stone the unmarried pregnant woman”

 …and the list goes on and on.

 The YouTube video of Bishop Oyedepo slapping a young girl he accused of witchcraft should make any sane person angry. The thunderous applause from his followers during this dastardly act is nauseating enough to make one vomit. Why is there a complete lack of common sense amongst religious fanatics? I guess if they could reason, they wouldn’t be fanatics anyway! Really, how could any sane person encourage the molestation of a young person and actually applaud the torturer?

 

Religion is the opium of the masses, yes, many atrocities have been committed in the name of religion, but really, for how long must these atrocities continue before we break the chain of religious oppression in Nigeria?

The colonisers that introduced Christianity to Nigerians would noDOGt in this age, in their own country, dare openly embrace such atrocities as perpetrated in the name of God in Nigeria today. Africans need to wake up from their slumber and see religion for what it really is; an addictive drug that numbs reason and robs away common sense!  I do not even want to go into the mental slavery aspect of organized religion and how much it has Africans, especially Nigerians, in its evil grip! 

Bishop David Oyedepo had the audacity to slap the young girl who dared to assert that she is not a witch as accused, but a witch for Jesus. Now, how is being a witch for Jesus a crime? [Read more…]

Debunking the myths: Is majority support of ‘Anti Same-Sex Marriage’ bill a democratic license to discriminate against sexual minorities?

DSC_0995 ftb resized“Minority can have their say but majority will have their way” is the new anthem of majority homophobic members of the supposedly enlightened Nigerian community on the issue of the draconian ‘Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition)’ bill. The mere thought that some supposedly enlightened people still think a majority has the right to have its way at the expense of the human rights of a minority is really worrisome. What enlightened mind would even support such a proposition in this age?

 

Many Nigerians eagerly confuse democracy with majority rule, what a shame and how sad for my beloved motherland. There is a big difference between Democracy and Majority rule.  According to this ‘ill-perceived’ concept of democracy as ‘minority having their say and majority having their way’, I guess the scenarios below would be deemed democratic: [Read more…]

Debunking the myths: Is decriminalizing Homosexuality a slippery slope towards endorsing Pedophilia, Rape and Bestiality?

It seems no debate on human rights of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transsexuals is complete without the inevitable snide remark, “If human rights of homosexuals are recognized, rapists, pedophiles and people who sleep with animals will start claiming human rights violations too”.188452_208137445878987_122256581133741_806700_345525_n resized

 Why do homophobes always feel the need to mention sex with animals when commenting on LGBT rights issues? How is homosexuality and sex with animals, rape or pedophilia the same thing? Isn’t it time people moved away from unjustified, illogical sentiments and address real issues? 

 Rape

Rape is trapehe unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.  It is a type of sexual assault usually involving forceful sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another without consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of giving valid consent. The term is most often defined in criminal law. A person who commits an act of rape is known as a Rapist.

 Sexual Orientation i.e. Homosexuality, Bisexuality, Pansexuality or Heterosexuality has nothing to do with sexual harassment. If anyone grabs your ass in public or even in private without your consent, it does not matter whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual; it is sexual harassment and assault.

Gender or sexual orientation is not the factor that determines if you had been sexually harassed or molested; lack of consent is the decisive factor. It is a criminal offense to sexually assault, harass or abuse anyone. So, what connection does a loving relationship between consenting adults have with rape?  None at all! [Read more…]