Christmas, Covid19 and Fatphobia.

Christmas 2020 was all about self-love and selfcare for me. It was a much needed body appreciation day.

With Covid19, working from home, closure of gyms, etc it is tiring to listen to people complain constantly about getting fat. Most often than not, the language used is very fatphobic. “Fat” is used as a dirty word as if getting fat is the worst thing ever!

People never stop to consider the effect of Fatphobia on the mental health of the majority of women and men who do not fit the stereotypes of beauty standards. It was time for me to switch off that societal judgemental voice confronting me from every angle especially since about 5 years ago, I lost almost half my body weight at the gym but gained it all back within the last year.

For me, I know I’m beautiful at whatever size or shape because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, gawd, how I behold myself! As the saying goes, the woman who does not require the validation of anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

In this fatphobic society, it is important to practice radical self-love. Love yourself so unconditionally and unapologetically that unsolicited opinions on your body does not matter or count. Your mental health will thank you for it.

Feeling festive and very thankfull for inner peace, contentment and the strenght to love myself unconditionally in a very judgmental society.

it has been a particularly tough year for many, but I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. Spending Xmas alone is not unusual for me. For me, the key is to find these things that make me happy and be self-indulgent. Dressing up just to take pics and dancing are two things that instantly lift mood. Find your happiness withing yourself; the hero lies in you.

Not everyone can have a happy holiday; it has been an especially sad year for some, with many lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that will not judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this holiday period, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will. Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and do not forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

This Xmas, I finally made the best Xmas Turkey ever! My Xmas turkey was so moist, succulent and so full of flavour, I almost cried with joy! It was the first time i got it so right with no but. It was Masterchef perfect! I will be making Turkey stew, Equisi/ Vegetable soup with it and of course reserve some to eat with soaked garri!

My Christmas isn’t complete without my annual Xmas dance. Enjoy!

Ho Ho Ho…Happy Secular Holiday!

Not everyone can have a happy holiday.

It has been an especially sad year for some, with many young lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

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Spending Xmas alone but gladly not lonely!

I am alone but not lonely this Xmas. My son is off somewhere in US enjoying Xmas in the snow and my family members in UK are 380602_4170850911488_21843259_ncelebrating in Manchester. Even though I have invites to join in the sometimes forced Xmas hilarity, I chose to spend the day alone. NOPE, it is not because I am an atheist  and BTW, choosing to spend Christmas day alone does not make me anti-social.

Spending the day with my feet up is kinda fun, cos I get to indulge on all the cakes and ice-creams without anyone ‘judging’ me. Plus I get to catch up on my writings, check my accumulated dating sites messages and watch my favorite Xmas movies including ‘Home Alone’ for the 100th time!

 It is OK to be alone on Xmas; it is even OK to feel lonely on Xmas. A lot has been invested by big companies into making the day seems like one endless day of family fun for everyone. What with the big Christmas adverts consisting mostly of big family dinners and of course gifts under the Xmas trees. And oh, damn if you are not in love on Xmas day, what with all the mistletoe hanging everywhere, you should at least be kissed on Xmas day. lol!

 If you are not off partying, opening presents under the Xmas trees or getting swept off your feet under the mistletoe, don’t be disappointed, you aren’t alone. In fact, welcome to the reality of many!

Xmas does not stop being like every other day just because of the Christmas trees, bright lights and gifts. People still receive bad news 12564_10151385279356873_843091362_nduring Christmas period, people still lose loved ones, there are grieving mothers and grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers and worst of all, there are starving children on Xmas day.

 Not everyone will have a happy holiday, so  for those who are grieving this festive period,  I wish you all the fortitude to bear your loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong. Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up for it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

BTW, I just got the opportunity to video Skype with my 19 year old son, who for the first time isn’t spending Christmas with me. I noticed he was enjoying a plate of fried rice with berries. Berries, I mean berries? Where the heck is the chicken? If he was with me now, he would have his face stuffed with a whole big nicely barbecued chicken! Who eats berries on Xmas! tag4

Anyway, I asked why he did not take his bath and dress up for Xmas before eating especially since it is Christmas day. He replied:

 “Mum, it is just around 10:00am here, I don’t even dress up for my own birthday, why should I do so on Christmas!”

 Needless to say, that made my day. 🙂

 Here is wishing you all Happy Holidays!