Happpy 48th Birthday to me!

Wishing myself a very happy 48th Birthday on planet earth. This has not been the happiest of my birthdays as the past few months have been about healing from loss and fighting hard to not let the haters, who can’t stand BlackGirlMagic, silence my voice at work.

However, I am grateful for life, good health and prosperity. I am proud that in the face of adversities, my crown has not slipped, this queen is still standing strong and proud.

The past year has tested and reminded me of things that have kept me strong, happy and contented over the years. They are also things I will be taking into the next stage of my life. A few of these reminders are-

1- I am my own tribe and there is nothing wrong with this because j am enough.

2- Never sweat the small stuff, life is too short

3- When things gets tough, take a deep breath, adjust my crown and face life head high.

4- Never expect anything from anyone because the things I value most, compassion, empathy, loyalty and honesty, are the things humans find most difficult to give.

5- Continue to be myself wherever I go. My whole self is a gift to anyone lucky enough to be in my presence.

6- Never let the world change my smile or take away my joy. My life is mine to live, not for others to ruin.

7- Remember the loved ones I have lost with happiness because they live on in my heart .Therefore I must make my heart a happy place for them to be.

8- Family are those who love, respect and show me compassion. Never let blood determine who I call family or who stay in my life.

9- Hold my loved ones closer to my heart because the greatest gift of all is unconditional love.

10- Live. Love. Laugh today because tomorrow is never promised.

Thanks to everyone who has enriched my life one way or the other, may we all celebrate many more years of love, happiness and good health.

My 47th Birthday Celebration

It was my 47th year on planet earth few weeks ago and i celebrated it in my signature style; with selfies and a birthday dance!

I can’t pretend to have the age-long answer to the meaning of life. However, what I do know is that life is to be lived not spent pontificating on its meaning. Yes, we have got one life to live, however, the most important thing is to live each day with gratitude.and on our own terms.

The last two months were one of the most intense and scariest of my life . I had to go to Nigeria unexpectedly for a family medical emergency. I am grateful that I am here today , able to celebrate my birthday with a big smile on my face. If i was asked to make a birthday wish, it would be to keep all my loved ones safe and heathy. Heath is wealth. And well, to win the big lottery while we are at it!

I’ve experienced life’s twin fountains of pleasures and pains, love and loss, happiness and sadness, good health and bad health but I knew they were all part of the deal called Life.

Life is a race I was enrolled in without my consent; I might as well aim to win it.

I am very grateful for where I am today and for the people that have been part of my journey through different stages in my life. Those that passed through it and those that are still part of it.

Life is a beautiful story as long as we keep writing our pages and chapters in our own words , on our own terms and live it unapologetically.

I say thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, I appreciate you all. May we always have abundant love and happiness in our heart to share and celebrate with others.

For those who sent me prayers and thanked their God(s) on my behalf, please always bear in mind that I am an Atheist, therefore your prayers don’t mean much to me beyond being patronising. Your intent might be good ( to you) but the impact isn’t. Thanks all the same but don’t do it again.

Some are surprised that some of us women are happy to splash our age on social media, I’d just say, growing old is an honour and privilege. We will not always be alive to celebrate being a year older. Also, when we die, people will print obituaries and splash our age all over social media, with or without our consent. Why not celebrate, embrace and own our age while we still can?

Here is to growing older gracefully, disgracefully or in whatever manner we choose to celebrate life!

I raise a glass today and toast everything that makes me the extraordinarily fierce, passionate, mentally and emotionally intelligent, discerning, sexy, strong, independent, beautiful black woman I am today.

To many more years of living life with a passion!

 

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Black History Month – Proud To Be.

It’s Black History Month and the theme this year is Proud To Be. I am Proud of everything that makes me Black.

I am proud of my Black Heritage.

I am Proud to be African.

I am proud to be an African Woman.

I am proud of the hospitality of my people.

I am proud of the creativity, the arts, rich culture and music that we have generously given the world which unfortunately are often appropriated without acknowledgement of the Black origin.

I am proud of the contributions of my people to Science and Technology.

I am proud of the exuberant nature of my people and the way we express ourselves with all our body gestures.

I am Proud of the renowned hospitality and welcoming nature of my ancestors.

I am Proud to be a Black African woman.

Africa is the cradle of life, it is the continuent that keeps giving even though they keep exploiting its human and natural resources, my people are resilient and continue to radiate hope.

They say Black is bad and not good enough, yet they refuse to return the beautiful Artefacts they stole from us that today still grace their museums.

They say Black is ugly yet they go under the knife to look like us to copy the very physical attributes they called ugly.

Still we rise because we know, and we know that they know, Black excellence is real, Black is beautiful. in and out.

To forget our history is to assimilate the lies of the colonisers and exploiters.

I know my history and this is why I Am Proud To Be. #HappyBlackHistoryMonth

As part of my celebration of Black History Month 2021 and in keeping with its ‘Theme ‘Proud To Be’ , I recited the poem ‘Africa my Africa’ by David Diop and shared with my work colleagues as a BHM video compililation project. Enjoy!

Africa my Africa – David Diop

Africa my Africa
Africa of proud warriors in ancestral Savannahs
Africa of whom my grandmother sings
On the banks of the distant river
I have never known you
But your blood flows in my veins
Your beautiful black blood that irrigates the fields
The blood of your sweat
The sweat of your work
The work of your slavery
Africa, tell me Africa
Is this your back that is unbent
This back that never breaks under the weight of humiliation
This back trembling with red scars
And saying no to the whip under the midday sun?
But a grave voice answers me
Impetuous child that tree, young and strong
That tree over there
Splendidly alone amidst white and faded flowers
That is your Africa springing up anew
springing up patiently, obstinately
Whose fruit bit by bit acquires
The bitter taste of liberty.

Bi Visibility Day

September 23rd is Bisexual Visibility Day. This means as a bisexual, I can’t rob a bank today cos my society-imposed superpower of invisibility wouldn’t work today. Also, i have to pay for trains and bus fares today. It’s a small price to pay to be visible to everyone for one day of the year.

Yes, the B in LGBTIQ+ exist. Bisexuals are real, although we are also Unicorns.

Enjoy my Bi Visibility Day video.

It’s My 46th Birthday!

It’s my 46th year on planet earth today! I still remember the day I was born, okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit. The years I do remember makes me feel like I’ve lived three livetimes already because I have truly lived.

I’ve experienced life’s twin fountains of pleasures and pains, love and loss, happiness and sadness, good health and bad health but I knew they were all part of the deal called Life.

I am very grateful for where I am today and for the people that have been part of my journey through different stages in my life. Those that passed through it and those that are still part of it. You all contributed whether positively or negatively to my experience in life so far and those experiences, good or bad, have contributed to my emotional and mental growth.

Life is a beautiful story as long as we keep writing our pages and chapters in our own words, on our own terms and live it unapologetically.

I raise a glass today and toast everything that makes me the extraordinarily fierce, passionate, mentally and emotionally intelligent, discerning, sexy, strong, independent, beautiful black woman I am today. To many more years of living life with a passion.

My birthday is not complete without my annual birthday dance. This year I celebrated with the beats from motherland and danced to the music of the legendary King of juju music, King Sunny Ade. What better tune to shake my original land cruiser to than the beats of KSA.
Emi o ba won wa, emi o ni ba won lo…

Happy Birthday to me.

 

 

Black Lives Matter Protest Chelmsford

It was a surprise when I was contacted  on LinkedIn to speak at a Black Lives Mattter protest in my local area, Chelmsford, Essex.

It was a very pleasant surprise because Chelmsford is not exactly known for its Liberal views. It is a conservative city with a white majority and very low black population density. I moved there from London almost 3 years ago and the contrast was shocking even though it is just a 35 minures train ride from Chelmsford to London.

I happily accepted to speak and offered to help the young organisers with the protest. I was sceptical that people might not turn up. I’ve never been so happy to be proved wrong!

The rally was held on Saturday 13 June, 2020 at Central park for speeches followed by a march through the Central areas to Oaklands Park where protesters took a knee for George Floyd.

RMC Event Photography

Chelmsford, thank you for turning out in large numbers to support Black Lives Mattter protest. Special shout out to the young organisers Black Lives Matter – Chelmsford and the young people who attended and marched with passion. It shows there is hope for humanity, the younger generation will do better.

Here is the video of my speech at the protest. #BlackLivesMatter.

Pictures from the event. Some from my camera, some from RMC Event Photography

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Ho Ho Ho…Happy Secular Holiday!

Not everyone can have a happy holiday.

It has been an especially sad year for some, with many young lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

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BiCon UK 2018

I attended my first BiCon UK 2018 on Thursday 2nd to Sunday 5th August 2018 at University of Salford, and I must say, I really enjoyed it!

BiConvention/Conference is an annual event in UK. From BiCon UK website-

BiCon is a weekend-long educational and social gathering for bi people, their friends, partners, and others with a supportive interest in bisexuality. We don’t all use the labels “bi” or “bisexual” or even agree on what it means to be bi, but bisexuality is the common theme.

BiCon has been held in a different part of the UK each year since 1984. BiCon is proud to implement a code of conduct and is committed to making our event accessible.

The weekend often runs from Thursday through to Sunday, but that can vary. There are discussion groups and sessions in the daytime, social spaces and entertainment in the evening.

Each evening there’s a bar and social space, sometimes with performers or a disco, plus quiet space for board games or simply chilling out. Sometimes there’s a “BiCon Ball”, one evening for those who like to dress up (although you don’t have to!) and many other indoor and outdoor activities.

When I took some days off work and got on the train To BiCon UK, I really needed the break. Also, it was my first BiCon and I did not know what to expect.

Knackered on the train. However, I’m on my way to the annual BiCon UK taking place in Manchester this year. It’s gonna be refreshing, rejuvenating and a relaxing weekend with fellow BiFabulous people. Let the BiFun begin but first, I need a nap.

By the time I got to the venue, registered, got the keys to my very cosy, nice room, I began to relax and settle in for a what promised to be a BiFun Weekend.

Time to settle in and get my BiFabulous weekend started

 

There were variety of workshops to choose from, I was spoilt for choice. I enjoyed all the workshops I attended, and some of the best ones were-

Just A Bi-Sexual minute -An imitation of a radio game where s person talks about a given topic for a minute without pause, repetition, hesitation etc. I had fun having a go at it.

Fatticorms Unite –Very refreshing and enlightening discussion about Body Positivity

Safer Sex: What we should have learnt about Sex Ed –Useful tips on safe sex and where to get affordable protection.

Bi in the workplace – Great discussion about being Bi in the workplace and as an out Bisexual at my workplace, trade unionist and activist, I found this very interesting to share experiences.

BME safe place – I really enjoyed this safe place gathering because I was going through a very nasty situation steeped in racism in my workplace, that has to do with being the only black person in all white workplace where they have no idea about inclusion, diversity and white privilege. I was taking on the brunt of their lack of understanding of these issues, with the burden of pointing out these issues, and as a result tasked to do the extra labour of educating them on these issues. The BME same place was a welcomed relief. Listening to the experiences of my fellow BMEs, I was reassured that I am not losing the plot, it’s not all in my head and I am not alone!

Enjoying the various workshops at BiConUK. So many Bifabulous people to learn from and share experiences with. Lovely atmosphere to reunite with old friends and make new friends too.

It was not all about workshops and learning, it was all fun in the evenings. I had my first Silent disco, it was such fun dancing to my own playlist with my earphone on. Everyone on the dancefloor had their headphones on, just dancing to their own beats on the dancefloor. It was like being in your own world, free to move to your own beats however you like. It was so liberating. Who knew dancing in public to songs only you could hear could be so much fun? Ah wait a minute, I do it all the time at the gym! Loved sharing the silent dancefloor with fellow unicorns.

The BiCon Ball was held on the last night, it was simply fabulous.

Off to the ball…Kudos to all who dressed up to the ball as mythical bisexual characters, you were all fabulous! Well, I didn’t dress up as a mythical character to the ball, but chose instead to go as my fabulous self.

We Stand Together. Together we can build a better world where everyone matters. A world where we can all live to achieve our full potentials regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation or class. A world where we are free to be our fabulous selves because our existence is not a harm to anyone. A better world is possible, we just need to want it enough to build it together. Every step matters.

Thank you to all the special people I met at Bicon. Thanks to the organisers and volunteers for doing such a great job. Thanks to everyone at BiCon who respected the Code of Conduct, The participants made it such a lovely experience as everyone was just so courteous, respectful and very welcoming. I am already looking forward to the next BiCon.

Enjoy the pics and video from my BiCon Lens!

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It’s My Birthday; Time to Shake What My Mama Gave Me!

It’s my birthday and it’s not complete without my annual birthday dance. Every year I do a birthday dance on my birthday, and I enjoy comparing the dance videos to see how far I have come, interesting memories.

It has been a particularly difficult and emotionally tasking year with the sudden loss of my mum. I had to process different emotions in my personal life and confront prevalent social ills in my professional life, especially made difficult as the only black person in an all-white work environment where the words ‘Inclusivity and diversity’ are alien language.

However, despite it all, as I turn 43 today, I feel like a hot pie and the only girl in the world.

This is my first birthday as an orphan and I especially miss my beautiful mum because she would have woken me up with a birthday song and try to sneak in some unsolicited prayers! I miss her so much today. I dedicate this birthday dance to my departed beloved parents. You were my vehicles to this world, and I appreciate it.

Thanks to everyone who touched my life in one way or another and left positive impacts. To these who left only negative memories, may our parts never cross again. Positive vibes only.

Thanks, lovely people for all the birthday greetings and lovely wishes, much appreciated.

Happy Birthday to me…it’s time to shake what my mama gave me!

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UK Black Pride 2018: Shades of the Diaspora

UK Black pride 2018 was held on Sunday July 8 at Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, London. It was indeed a celebration of black LGBT1Q . The theme was Shades Of The Diaspora. I was there to celebrate all that is black and beautiful with my black LGBTIQ community and our allies. It was a protest and a party.

Hello from UK Black Pride, the party is rocking!

The party rocked! The vibrant, energetic performers on stage and the beautiful roaring crowd reminded me of what it is to be Black, Bold, Beautiful and Proud. Partying with my Black Lgbtiq community, I definitely felt like I belonged there.

Special thanks to the organisers for persistently organising UK Black pride despite all the negativity from these who seek to subjugate our spirit and never really make us feel belonged or truly included in the mainstream lgbt community. Also, a big shout out to all the volunteers and everyone who worked tirelessly behind the scenes to bring us a fun, successful, UK Black Pride. Solidarity forever.

It was indeed the largest UK Black Pride ever. The crowd was huge from every corner and angle. So many beautiful people and a rich diversity of cultures. The talents on stage were great, the crowd was energetic and made me realised i need to brush up on my dance steps. So much twerking from all genders that I was reminded twerking is a black thing , and will always be.

Kudos to the organisers for another successful UK Black Pride. I am already looking forward to an even bigger, colourful UK Black Pride and a more inclusive Pride every corner of the globe.

To voiceless LGBTIQs who cannot afford to hold or attend a Pride, I say Stand Tall, you are not forgotten. Rainbow will always shine through the clouds. Stay positive and live your truth in pride. Love, always.

Enjoy the pics and videos from my lens!

Always a pleasure to reunite with friends at this wonderful event.

I finally managed to sit my tired ass down. It was nice just sitting down watching the performers and the beautiful crowd do their thing. A day well spent refuelling and connecting with every side of my personal and political self.

Calling it a day! Bye for now, see ya all next year.

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London Pride 2018: Pride Matters

London Pride 2018 took place on July 7 in central London with the theme ‘Pride Matters’. Even though I now live in Essex, London Pride is one Pride I always look forward to.

Hello from London Pride. Flying the rainbow flag and the bisexual flag with Pride. Love Not Hate

Unfortunately, this year’s London Pride Parade was hijacked by a small group of Anti-Trans women who forced their way to the front of the parade, and force-led the parade. The transphobic group of about 10 lay down in front of the parade, shouting anti-trans slogans, and wouldn’t let the parade move. I wouldn’t bother to relate their transphobic messages here because I won’t be an indirect vessel to spread their hate messages. The transphobes disrupted and held up the start of the parade. The organisers finally gave in and allowed them to lead the parade. They marched right in front of the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who was supposed to lead the parade. They held their Anti-Trans banners and distributed their transphobic leaflets. The organisers cited the hot weather for their decision to give in to the Anti-Trans group. I wished they had not given in and instead found a way to get the small group out of the parade. Big shame to the Anti-Trans group, they are a disgrace to the entire LGBT community.

Also, Britain’s largest LGBT organisation, Stonewall, stayed away from London Pride this year to protest the racism problem within the LGBT community.

A Stonewall spokesperson said:

We know this is an event that’s important to many in our communities and very much hope to attend in future years.

However last year, Pride in London’s community advisory board again raised concerns about the lack of diversity and inclusion at Pride in London – particularly of black and minority ethnic communities.

Pride in London rejected those concerns from the community in the strongest terms and, as yet, have failed to make any public acknowledgement that they may need to make significant changes if Pride in London is to be an event for everyone.

Racism is still very rife within the LGBT community in Britain. This did not come as a shock to LGBT PoC as we have been saying this for so long. It is really sad that those who are members of an oppressed group are sometimes themselves perpetrators of oppression against other vulnerable groups, when they are in position of power and have the privilege.

Aside from the unfortunate transphobic disruption at the parade, and the noticeable absence of Stonewall, London Pride was a spectacular event to behold. The parade was fun and colourful, and the entertainment at the London Pride stage at Trafalgar square was good. However, we do need more diverse entertainers to be featured to better represent the diversity in London and its LGBT community.

I did not march in the parade this year, but I did move around, cheered the parade on and mingled with the beautiful crowd.

Enjoy my pics, narratives, videos, dancing and awful singing!

I met some really lovely people from all corners of the globe at London Pride, however, this beautiful lady I met on the tube on my way to Pride. She was sitting opposite me and gave me a lovely smile. We looked up and smiled at each other at intervals. We got off at the same stop, outside Charing Cross station, she walked up to me and said ” I wanted to tell you on the train but couldn’t. You look beautiful, I love your make up. It is amazing”. I’ve been paid compliments before but from her it just kind of felt so sincere and heartfelt, and I am not really great at doing my makeup. I thanked her, told her she looked fabulous and asked if she was going to Pride, she said unfortunately not as she has to be somewhere else now. I asked if I could take her pic and share and she obliged. I love the diversity in London. This is why I miss London. This lovely lady with her beautiful smile kick-start a beautiful Pride for me. Thank you, my beautiful stranger on the tube for your lovely words.

This lovely gentleman offered me a seat when I was looking for somewhere to relax my tired feet during Pride. We ended up exchanging mints, sweets, wristbands and we shared our experiences of London Pride, and we gossiped. He sure was great company. Making friends across borders at Pride because Love knows no borders. Love Not Hate.

Ah, he photobombed my pic with his Usain Bolt move. Can’t really be angry at a bro for that now, can I? Made the pic all the more interesting.

He is so adorable! He joined me for a pic, when I did the back to back pose he said “Ah, we are doing the back to back now” and he proceeded to strike a pose, several poses. Surely, this bro couldn’t be outdone in the ‘strike a pose’ department!

Oh yes, Bisexuals are not confused, we just have the amazing capacity to love and be emotionally and sexually attracted to same and other genders. Hurray, for Genderless Love! Bisexuals are simply Bifabulous, we rock at Pride!

Flying high amongst the beautiful colours of the Rainbow in my Superpower bisexual cape. Bisexuals are not greedy, we are just Superheroes with the ability to love, be sexually or emotionally attracted to same and other genders. Our Love is genderless. Wrapped in the genderless love of the Bisexual flag. Love Not Hate.

These beautiful, lovely ladies gave me their beautiful rainbow adornment to wear and took my pics at London Pride. Then I asked them for a selfie together. This is the spirit of London Pride that I love so much. Let’s foster Love and friendship cos Love knows no borders, we are one.

Queens make Prides rock.

Jesus came to party at London Pride. It’s his Pride too, after all he was Bisexual…what with all that playing the field with the two sisters, Mary and Martha, while always hanging out with 12 hot men. Jesus was seriously ahead of the game. No discrimination was his motto. So, we hung out at Pride and took a pic.

Funny how this pic and my caption caused such upheaval in my home country Nigeria and ended up trending in Nigeria. I woke up to messages next day from family members, friends and enemies alike, telling me I was trending on the social/gossip blogs in Nigeria. Turned out enraged Nigerian Christians and anti LGBTs were cursing me out and calling for my head on a spike, for daring to associate their beloved white, blue-eyed Jesus with my ‘gay’ (or is it Bisexual?) agenda! Good thing I don’t read these blogs, and I do pity these who do. To think some of them had the guts to harass my family members with calls and messages! Ah, well, curses and threats for daring to live openly as an atheist and bisexual Nigerian? What else is new! If anything, I was concerned about how unbothered I was by these nasty blog sites and the nasty comments directed at me. The level of ignorance, religious fuelled hate, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia and open threats of causing harm to another based on religion and sexual orientation just left me numb. It is sadly the norm. My people are living proof that ignorance fuels hate, and hate leads to violence.

Love goes the distance. Love knows no borders. Love does not discriminate. Love is the wheel we need to move towards a better world for all. Love is Love. Spread Love Not Hate.

There is enough room in the sky for all colours of the rainbow and more to shine and thrive. Diversity is the spice of life, fly and support the rainbow with Pride.

 

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