Facebook banned me for saying Men Are Trash

Facebook banned me for posting excerpts from my blog post, Men Are Trash, on my Facebook wall, and deleted the posts. Facebook thinks it is hate speech.

Some Facebook and Instagram users have reported similar experience; not surprising as Facebook owns Instagram. I Probably got reported by some random blokes whose very existence confirms that Men are Trash.

I decided to make the blog post into a YouTube video and share on Facebook.  I plan to download it on my Facebook as a video, no doubt it will get me banned again, cos, Men and their fragile ego! #MenAreTrash.

 

Related Links- 

Men Are Trash 

Everyday Sexism: Catcalls and Street Harassment  

Men Are Trash

Yes, men are trash. It is the truth. Men are indeed trash. Now, don’t come at me with your “Not All Men” bullshit. If you are a man and you think you are not trash, just jog on. However, it doesn’t change the fact that men are trash.

By sharing our experiences, women with online dating profiles already know that men are trash as exemplified by the unsolicited dick pics men send us, the explicit messages telling us what they want to stick in our mouths, invitation to sit on their faces and let them eat us before we’ve even exchanged as much as a Hello, and the creepy ways they inform us just how much they want to fill our holes with their imaginary six inch dicks. Yes, men are trash.

However, occupying a special place of men who are trash are men who catcall. Men who catcall are a physical constant reminder that men are trash.    I have written before about the evils of catcalls and street harassment. Many of us have explained so many times why catcalling is degrading, and a form of sexual assault. Do they listen? No, they don’t. They continue to catcall cos they have dicks and that is what they think with, and it gives them a sense of entitlement to a woman’s body and attention.

I am so tired of being tired of men who won’t let a woman have her own space on the streets. No, they got to come up in our faces and demand that we smile for them. Heaven forbids we don’t entertain their demand, as that would be an excuse for them to get up close in our face and demand to know why we aren’t jumping up for joy when they complimented our big boobs, cute ass or nice legs. Yes, men are trash.

I just moved to Chelmsford Essex and love taking walks to enjoy the beauty of the place. After living in London for many years, I thought I would enjoy the fusion of modern and countryside beauty of Chelmsford by taking walks to appreciate all it offers. But hey, the very reason I dreaded taking walks in London keeps rearing its ugly head again in Chelmsford, Essex. Men who catcall.

I am so tired of hiding away or putting on my headphones to blank out the street noise just to avoid the constant harassment from men who think it is OK to tell me to smile, strangers who shout after me, “Nice Ass” and somehow expect me to turn around, smile with gratitude and say,

Thanks, Kind Sir for noticing, I do squats to get my glutes banging.

Really, men are trash.

Just the other day as I was walking home, some white guys, about four of them, started catcalling me. I ignored them and increased my pace to get away. They had obviously been drinking as some of them were holding beer cans. I hurried away from them but they continued leering at me, commenting on my body with a special focus on my ass and legs. Unfortunately, I had to wait for the traffic light to change, they caught up with me and one of them moved very close to me and practically whispered creepy things into my ears. He was all about how he would love to fuck my ass. While I waited for the traffic light to change, I had to endure listening to these trashy men talk about my body as if I was just an object and not a human being. I quickly crossed the road as soon as I could, and moved far to the other side of the road just to get away from them, even though that was a longer route for me.

It is so sad that as a woman, I am often compelled to bear these harassment in silence, and most times we are the ones who must move out of the way of these bullies, even if it means taking the longer route. Indeed, men are trash.

Just today, on my way to the gym, I had a nasty catcall encounter. I had been having a bad day, in fact it has been bad days for weeks now, so I was really looking forward to working out to let out some steam. There was this black dude on a bike coming towards my direction, he stopped near me and disembarked.  As I walked past him, he looked at me and said in a very creep way-

Hmm, helloooo, looking good.

I couldn’t be bothered to respond, so I kept walking. He got furious and shouted-

I would blast your ass.

Typical man trash. I continued to ignore him and quickly crossed to the other side of the road.

However, guess who came chasing after me on his bike? Yeah, the creepy asshole. This dude had the audacity to get on his bike, chase after me and tried to chastise me for not returning his ‘greetings’. To top it all, he said

I am your African brother and you are feeling too big to talk to me.

I think it was at this point that I lost it. All through his catcalling, insults and chastising, I had tried to keep my cool and just kept walking as we were now on the high street with a few people around. However, everyone has a breaking point, and I think that was mine.

How dare this self-entitled, sexist pig of a man invade my space this way? Is it because he has a dick and felt obliged to tell me how he would blast my ass with it? Somehow, I was supposed to be grateful to him for that ‘compliment’?

I stopped walking, faced this asshole, and belted out in my black angry woman voice-

How dare you harass me on the street. How dare you refer to yourself as my African brother when you’ve just shouted at me how you would blast my ass? How dare you to try to mansplain to me that I was rude for not acknowledging your catcalls? Do you speak to your mothers and sisters in that manner? You are nothing but a fucking sexual harasser and a bully.  

By this time, I was visibly angry, and my voice rose with every word I threw at him. I didn’t know how much of that pent-up anger was in me until I let it all splash out on this creepy asshole.

The guy was visibly shocked. The surprise on its face was priceless. He probably didn’t know I had a voice as I had kept silent all through his talking at me. This time I was the one really in his creepy, perverted face, screaming at him and ready to scratch his eyes out.

He was like, “Whoaaaa, what just happened?”.

Yeah, asshole, what happened was that I got tired of you harassing me, telling me how you want to blast my ass and having the effrontery to chase and chastise me for not acknowledging your creepy, sorry ass existence. Men are trash

And to my utmost surprise, this creepy black dude dared to use race in an attempt to make it look like I was the one in the wrong. He actually said, probably, for the benefit of the white people around-

You are African, this is how we do in Africa.

At that point, I felt like dragging him down from his bike and whoop his silly, creepy arse. He surely needed a beating. However, instead of beating him up, I told him if he thinks harassing a woman on the street is an African thing, he must have been raised by baboons. At this point, he knew I was so angry I could get physical with him right on the high street, and not in the way he would love, so he started moving away from me on his bike. When the coward thought he was a safe distance away, he started screaming inanities at me again.

I would blast your ass and you would come begging for more

You are big headed

You hypocrite

I still don’t understand the “You hypocrite” accusation, but to top the list of the silly things he screamed at me, this black African dude looked back at me from his bike and shouted-

Go back to Africa

At this point, I knew for sure he has no functioning brain., the only thing he thinks with must be his dick. He was just another brainless creepy asshole who couldn’t understand why a woman he didn’t know would be angry at him for saying he wants to blast her ass. And well, at least it was the first time a fellow African screamed at me to go back to Africa on the streets of Britain, just because I wouldn’t let him blast my ass. What a dick!

Funny how this happened right on the high street and the mostly white population of Chelmsford, Essex were busy giving us space. I mean, it was like ‘Erm, two angry black people going at each other, one a visibly upset woman, the other a…well, black man, better give them space’. Race relations continue to baffle and amuse me, but as we are talking sexism, and sexism knows no race, I won’t let myself be distracted by the race interaction, for now.

I wish we had a provision for lodging complaints of such street harassment.

At what point exactly should women report catcalling as sexual harassment?

I walk peacefully on the street and group of guys talk loudly about my body, what they’d like to do with my ass, boobs and vagina, yet I am supposed to just shrug it off and walk on?

A man catcalls and screams at me that after he blast my ass, l will come begging for more.Somehow I am expected to ignore this assault and be ‘adult’ about it?

I have had men hoot at me and throw drinks at me from their cars.

I have had men forcefully invade my space, follow me, demand that I smile and insist I acknowledge their greetings.

Do we ever consider the emotional anguish this cause women all day?

At what point am I allowed to defend myself from this type of street sexual harassment?

Am I just supposed to keep walking on and pretend it is not happening?

Am I supposed to ignore the pain and emotional anguish caused me by these words that seek to demean my very existence as a human being?

Am I expected to bear it all because ‘boys will be boys’?

Men are trash.

For all men who are trash, consider this a warning-

I am tired of being tired of your misogyny.

I am tired of being tired of your sexism.

I am tired of being tired of your catcalls.

I am tired of being tired of your self-entitlement.

I am tired of being tired of having to vacate my space to escape your harassment.

I am tired of being tired of patriarchy.

If you come at me with your catcalls, and dare to invade my space with your creepy face, be ready to have that creepy face of yours meet with my fist or my pepper spray.

It is only fair that if you are eager to tell me how you will blast my ass, I should feel no qualm about blasting your face with my pepper spray.

And while you are writhing in pain, I might as well just take down your pants and pepper spray your useless, good for nothing dick. Maybe then, you will begin to understand and experience just a fraction of the pain your constant street harassment cause women like me. Don’t you dare come at me bro because you might not have a dick left by the time I finish with you. Considering that your dick is the one thing you build your existence around, you will be as good as dead without it.

I warn your again, you creepy, perverted catcallers, you better stay away from me. Don’t come at me, cos I might very well give in to the urge to rid the world of your nasty, creepy existence and believe me, no price would be too high to pay for the pleasure of ridding the world of your perverted, creepy asshole, you man trash.  Yes, men are trash and I might just be pushed to the extent that I would take out trash that invade my space.

 Related Links

Everyday Sexism: Catcalls and Street Harassment  

#WivesNotCooks: RE “SO YOU WON’T COOK?”

I first saw the hashtag #WivesNotCook when a Facebook friend made a response post on it, which she titled “SO YOU WON’T COOK?”. When I read the post, right from the first paragraph, I cringed.  I wanted to ignore it as I have ignored most things Nigerian lately. However, the post has been shared many times on Facebook, mostly by Nigerian men, who are using it as a reference point to chide women who support the hashtag #WivesNotCooks. Many have even used it as a point to bash single women, single mothers, divorced women and blamed all woes imaginable on feminism.

The post and the comments it generated made me realise we really have a long way to go in educating even the educated about the meaning of feminism. I understand that sometimes when we don’t want to engage, we still owe it to posterity to engage on some issues. Hence, why I decided to write this response to dissect the post and point out the problems with it, as it relates to feminism.

14067659_10154421374501873_6548088197135927608_nFirstly, we must understand that anyone can be a feminist and everyone should be a feminist. It’s the decent, humane position to take on gender equalities.

I was so surprised that someone who self-identified as “an unapologetic feminist” starts her argument against the hashtag #wivesNotCooks with these remarks- [Read more…]

The First Time I Realised I was Black

I didn’t know I was black until I relocated to the UK in 2009 at the ripe old age of 34, before then, I thought I was just a human being.

Settling down in the UK, I quickly realised my skin colour mattered. It matters a lot.

I relocated to the UK in 2009 to study for my Post graduate degree in Law, specialising in Gender, Sexuality and Human rights.  Even though I had contemplated my gender, sexuality, globalisation and the catastrophic effects of unbridled capitalism, I had not given my skin colour much thought.

From the overt racism, which I encountered from the University Surgery GP, the subtle racism of some of my white lecturers (who ironically taught equality classes), the white co-workers who turned their noses up at my African accent, to the ‘behind the back’ racist stab by the white, female principal officer in my workplace, which cost me a much needed, very good job offer, I quickly realised that my skin colour mattered. [Read more…]

Miss Anambra’s Sex tape and the hypocrisy of Nigerians

As much as I try not to be so bothered with the ignorance displayed by fellow Nigerians daily, sometimes some things come up that one can’t in good conscience ignore because they are issues too important to ignore. The online assault on Miss Anambra by the homophobic, ignorant, religious extremist Nigerian mob is one of these issues. Now I must put my two cents in.

Since the alleged sex tape of Miss Chidinma Okeke, the winner of the 2015 Most Beautiful Girl in Anambra pageant competition, was leaked, there has been heated debate, fury, condemnation and all sorts of righteous silliness.

The sex tape showed Miss Anambra sexually pleasuring herself with a cucumber in the company of another lady, identified as her friend, Miss Adaobi Nzekwe, who was also a beauty queen,  third runner up of the face of democracy, Anambra, 2014.

The tape was released without the consent of Miss Chidinma Okeke. She initially came out to state that she was not the one in the video and that the sex tape was released as a revenge porn. It was also alleged that she was drugged and the video filmed under duress. If the video was filmed under duress and she was drugged, this must be totally condemned. Forcing women to make porn videos to use as a sort of hold or collateral against them is horrible.

In a message posted on her Facebook page Chidima Okeke wrote- [Read more…]

Mental Health Awareness Day: Dignity in Mental Health

October 10 is World Mental Health Awareness Day and the theme this year is ‘Dignity in mental health – psychological and mental health first aid for all’.  As we celebrate Mental health awareness day today, remember, nobody is immuned to mental illness. Nobody chooses to be mentally ill. Mental illness can afworld-mental-health-dayfect anyone at any age or stage in life. The fact that mental illnesses are mostly not visible does not mean they are less serious than physical health issues.

Sadly, people who are diagnosed with mental illness are not often given the adequate treatment needed. Cuts in healthcare services are not helping matters as many are left without the necessary services they need to cope with mental illness. Also, many cases of mental illnesses remain undiagnosed because of lack of access to health care, stigmatisation and sometimes, outright denial due to shame and embarrassment.

It is sad that while we can easily access First Aid for physical health issues, same cannot be said for mental health crises. Many of us know how to provide First Aid to someone having a heart attack or who has suffered a physical injury, but not many of us have a clue what First Aid to render to someone suffering a mental health breakdown. Workplaces make sure to provide First Aid [Read more…]

Celebrating My Uncelebrated Nigerian Award!

On Saturday Sep 24th, 2016, the Nigerian community in UK organised an award dinner ceremony to honour 56 uncelebrated Nigerians in five different categories as part of Nigeria’s 56th independence anniversary.

I was proud to be nominated for the award and was really honoured to receive the Uncelebrated Nigerians Award for contribution to Legal, Security & Law enforcement.

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In my acceptance speech, i dedicated the award to Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transsexuals and Queers in Nigeria and diaspora. Every Nigerian deserves to be free from discrimination regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. LGBT Rights are Human Rights. [Read more…]

Celebrate Bisexual Visibility Day; Be BiVisible and BiFabulous!

September 23rd is Bisexuality Day, also known as Bi Visibility Day.  It’s Bi Visibility day today, I guess it is that one time of the year where I have to stop being so magically invisible and show myself in all my Unicorn glory; as a Bisexual!

Being Visible does come with its price, for example, I have to pay for things I bought in the stores today, cos well, I’m visible today. I have to bring out my oyster travel card and pay for bus, tubes and tram rides, like every other visible person cos I can’t ride for free today.  I get to be a visible B within the LGBT rainbow community today and I’d say, it’s worth it.

I know I am happy the LGBT community would at least recognise my existence today, it isn’t fun being that invisible B within the LGBT rainbow family all year long!

It sure does hurt when your own family fails to recognise you exist.  For example, a few days after marching and partying it up at the London Pride in Soho, I was at a swanky Sexual health clinic in Soho for my annual Sexual health check.  The place came highly recommended by an impressed friend I met at London Pride who was going on about how nice, easy and smooth the Sexual Health clinic in Soho was, so I decided to do my annual check there. [Read more…]

9-year-old boy chained and tortured in church for weeks: This is why I hate religion.

A 9-year-old boy was rescued from a church in Ogun state Nigeria, after weeks of being chained and tortured.  The Celestial church of Christ had been keeping the emaciated child in chains and tortured him in a bid to rid him of demonic possession. This was said to be with the consent of the child’s father, a pastor.

9 year old boy

According to Premium Times

The Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) said in a statement sent to PREMIUM TIMES [Read more…]

No one should have to choose which racism they would rather endure

I was having a phone conversation with my 21-year-old son while watching the Williams sisters’ doubles match the other day when our discussion veered towards racism which the Williams sisters have endured over the years.

I mentioned that I didn’t get why the British audience booed Serena during the match. My son said something about the British always supporting the underdogs and maybe they were just rooting for the player that Serena had defeated earlier who was also playing in the doubles.

However, we both agreed that there was an obvious case of hostility towards Serena during a match last year in Wimbledon when Serena defeated British player, Heather Watson. The audience were indeed unruly and very hostile towards Serena and even the commentators expressed their shock. My son said he was quite surprised as British people are not usually very open when they are being racist. [Read more…]

Light It Up: UK Black Pride 2016

Enjoy the sights and sounds of UK Black Pride, 2016 , through my lens and dance steps!

This police officer was really digging it at UK Black Pride, 2016. Transforming our community…for the better.

UK Black Pride 2016-Transforming our community with so much fun and positive vibrations.

UK Black Pride, 2016: Transforming Our Community.
Working it has never been so much fun! Work, work, work , work….

Related post- 

UK Black Pride 2016: Transforming Our Community 

UK Black Pride 2016: Transforming Our Community

UK Black Pride was held on Sunday 26, June 2016 at Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, London, with the theme “Transforming Our Community”. It was a blast with positive vibrations, diversity and thousands of vibrant people.

It was such a joy to be at UK Black Pride, 2016. It was fun in a friendly, relaxed atmosphere with lots of foods and drinks to share, great music, great dance steps, lots of twerking and yeah, sexy, lovely people! LGBT BMEs do know how to party!

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Did someone say Why Black Pride?” [Read more…]

5 Reasons Why We Still Celebrate Pride: London Pride 2016.

It was London pride 2016 on Saturday 25, June 2016. As usual, the annual LGBT Pride celebration 20160625_165734meant the streets of central London felt the colourful presence of LGBT Londoners and their allies.  Marching from Baker street, Regent street, Oxford street and well, Cockspurs street, all the way to Trafalgar square, the colourful parade brightened up the streets of London. Rainbow flags, beautiful floats, creative costumes, the energetic marchers and the large appreciative supporters who turned out en masse to cheer the parade along, all made for one very beautiful London Pride, 2016. And of course what would London Pride be without the very creative and beautiful drag queens? They were fabulous as always! They slayed in their beautiful costumes and creative makeups. The crowd were eager to take pictures with those divas.  And oh, there was even a sweet moment when a police man in the parade went on his knees to propose to his boyfriend!

This year’s Pride theme was NO FILTER. It encourages LGBTs to live life without filters. Just be you. There was a huge turnout. According to London Pride, an estimated 1 million people took part in the Pride and about 40,000 people marched in the parade, the largest so far in London Pride history.

The homophobic killings in Orlando was a rude and appalling reminder that homophobia is still very much alive [Read more…]

Macheted and Beaten to a Pulp for not Fasting: Happy Ramadan!

Just a few days after a 74-year-old woman was beaten to death by angry Muslim youths in Kano state, Nigeria, for alleged blasphemy, another similar incident with almost same fatal outcome happened in neighbouring Kaduna state. Francis Emmanuel, a 41-year-old man was attacked by irate Muslim youths for not observing the Ramadan fasting, even though he was not a Muslim.

Speaking from his hospital bed, Francis Emmanuel, a carpenter, reportedly said

I went to buy wood to do some work. When I came back I bought food to eat. As I was eating about six Hausa boys came and asked me whether I am a Muslim or a christian. I did not answer them. They asked why am I not fasting? I told them that I am not a Muslim.

“Before I knew it, one of them slapped me. As I stood up, the rest came and surrounded me and started attacking me with knives. I don’t know them. Nobody could come to my aid because of the type of dangerous knives they were carrying.
“They used cutlasses scissors and knives on me. I became unconscious, I don’t even know who brought me to the hospital.

Beaten unconscious for daring to eat during Ramadan period and he was not even a Muslim! Let’s be clear, even if he was a Muslim, he has the right to choose whether or not to starve himself to please his Skydaddy. No one should have the right or audacity to demand that another observe a religious rite.

In some parts of Northern Nigeria, we have had cases where people were beaten up for drinking alcohol even when they were not Muslims and therefore not bound by the Sharia Law.  Shops selling alcohol have been vandalised because …well, Sharia law. This descent into a state of lawlessly in the name of religion needs to be checked before it gets to a point of no return.

Is their precious Ramadan not supposed to be the “Holy Month of Peace”? Unleashing violence on people who chose not to fast while you starve to endear yourself to your sky daddy brings a whole new meaning to the saying “A hungry man is an angry man”.

Which is why I despair when we are told to be politically correct and wish our Muslims br407171_2699056189303_1043602147_2867789_1434976931_nothers and sisters a Happy Ramadan. Why on earth would I want to encourage people to starve themselves in the name of a Skydaddy?

Happy Ramadan indeed, I’d rather we rid the world of religion in all its barbaric forms.

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