Winter might be upon us but nothing is going to take away my sunshine; let’s dance!

What better way to herald a new month than to dance away the pains, sorrows, regrets, betrayals, dashed hopes and disappointments of the past month. What does not kill us makes us stronger.

As I wrote in my poem: ‘Chin Up and Weather the Storm’

Life dishes out its mixture of pain and pleasureSnapshot_20151028_24

With pressure, we appreciate more our treasures

Stricken down, rise up and look beyond the snares

This too shall pass for nothing stays the same

When it is all falling apart, just stay strong

Chin up and weather the storm!

Winter might be upon us but nothing is going to take away my sunshine.

As Albert Camus said-

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Nothing lifts my spirits better than good music and the liberty to dance to my favourite tunes whenever I feel like. Music and dance are the choice flavour of my body and soul!

Here is to all Survivors; keep surviving and live life the best you can. Enjoy my dance video!


8 Reasons “I’d Rather Be a Rebel than a Slave” on t-shirts for “Suffragette” is Wrong

When Time Out London invited the leading actresses of the new film, “Suffragette”, to be photographed for its October 2015 issue, they did not envisage the heated debate that ensued. The photoshoot featured the stars of the movie, Meryl Streep, Carey Mulligan, Romola Garai, and Anne-Marie Duff posing in t-shirts bearing Emmeline Pankhurst’s quote, “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave.” The appropriateness of the t-shirts message was called into question. Reactions to this debate have been very enlightening as well as disturbing. The photoshoot provided another opportunity to see white feminism in action and the reaction shows how difficult it is for feminists of colour to be heard in a visibly white world.

Mary Rozzi

Mary Rozzi

Below are 8 reasons why the quote on the t-shirts is inappropriate, insensitive and offensive as a promotional material for a 21st century film that seeks to promote equality.

1- Not everyone has the luxury of choosing between being a slave or a rebel

My ancestors were humans who were carted off from Africa and made slaves in foreign lands. They did not have12108275_10153653732906873_381376419150408220_n the luxury of choosing between being a rebel or being a slave. No one would “rather be a slave”. Many of them were rebels but this did not save them from being slaves. They did not just hand themselves over to their captors. They did not just roll over and decided to live the slave life. They did not choose to be separated from their families and land of births.

Captivity was forced on them. Slavery was forced on them. Many were born into slavery. Being a rebel in the sense of organising protests and speeches under police protection and throwing animal blood at their fancily dressed “Masters” were not options available to them.

However, the fact that millions of my ancestors died as slaves in foreign lands did not mean that many of them were not rebels. There were rebellions on the slave ships. Many died with their rebellion stories that will never be told.

Many slaves learned to survive and keep their sanity in the face of utter atrocities and the most degrading treatment known to humans.

Many were rebellious enough to keep their sanity, build a community, and nurture generations of rebels.

They were slaves not because they chose not to be rebels but because they were captured or born into slavery. They were humans turned slaves not because they had rather be slaves than be rebels.

2- It lacks Intersectional Feminism

In this day and age, progressives should be conscious of all the intersections that can unite or divide us as feminists. When those issues are raised, white feminists should not try to ‘whitesplained’ away the concerns of black feminists. They should listen, ask questions and learn. We are in the fight against sexism together. However, we all have different experiences that are magnified by colour, race, class, sexual orientation, and our different background and history.

As a black African woman, ‘Slave’ is a word that gives me the shivers. It is a word that comes with baggage and a horde of unwanted feelings. Slave is a word that serves as a vivid reminder of the atrocities my ancestors suffered in the hands of white people. Slave is a word that reminds me that I am still impacted and affected by that horrible history. ‘Slave’ is a word that makes me aware that we still have a long way to go before we come close to achieving a post-racial society.

I am aware that a white person wouldn’t necessarily have the same feelings I have as a black person towards the word ‘Slave’, especially when used as a noun. This is not so surprising because our history and stories concerning slavery and its effects are different.

I find it appalling that white people trivialise the word ‘Slave’ and even use it as a sort of fantasy game. For example, if only I had a penny for the numerous times white men on dating sites send me messages that they want to be my slave and would be honoured if I could whip their white arses. By virtue of their privileged background, they can afford to casually throw the word ‘Slave ‘around, whereas for me as a black woman, the word conjures up horrible images of the atrocities suffered by my ancestors.

As a black woman, I cannot afford not to have a negative reaction to the word slave; after all, it was not so long ago that slave owner paraded Sarah Baartman as a freak. A white woman’s reaction to being told by a white suitor online to be a slave would be different from my reaction as a black woman.  Too much baggage comes with the word that it can never be a trivial, fantasy word.

Slavery is not a fantasy; it is the lived experience of my ancestors.

‘Slave’ is not just a euphemism or a verb to describe your discomfort; it was an identity forced on my ancestors by their white captors.

‘Slave’ is not just another word for a non-rebellious victim; it is much more than that.

‘Slave’ is a word that some white people still consciously or unconsciously associate with a black person, a black woman, a black employee, their black colleagues or the black neighbour whose presence in their neighbourhood has brought down the property value of the area.

‘Slave’ is an inaudible, taboo but still heavy word that permeates the atmosphere when black and white people are in the same room, especially when there is a conflict of interest.  We might not acknowledge its presence, we might deny that it is even there but when we disagree, when tensions run high, when arguments get heated, the word ‘slave’ comes alive. “You could have been my slave in another life” are thoughts that come alive when the die is cast.

I bear this burden of invisible wounds, long lasting effects and impact of slave trade. I reel from the word slave. White feminists might not understand the shiver I get from the casualization of the word, but they should sit down, listen and learn why this word should not be so trivialised. Those who argue that sexism is itself a form of slavery really needs to take a seat and take a class in slavery. Even then, they still won’t get the full impact of it because only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

3- Turning a blind eye to racism in the name of fighting sexism is never right

The promotional shoot for the film ‘Suffragette’ tried to address a big issue by trivialising another momentous big issue. Considering that feminism should encompass all women including women of colour, the film promoters failed gigantically in not putting into consideration the impact of the word ‘Slave’ on women of colour. It is bad enough that the film erases the racism condoned by many suffragettes, but to actually go ahead to use such an insensitive quote to promote the film is tactless and harmful. The chosen quote does not promote an intersectional message and it failed woefully in living up to the standard of acceptable social consciousness in this 21st century.

It is sad that many white women who consider themselves “non-racist” gets angry when women of colour talk about racism. White women are often irked when black feminists raise issues of racism in feminism. Why are white women so quick to trivialise or dismiss the concerns of women of colour? Some white women are very passionate about pointing out sexism but get defensive whenever issues concerning racism are raised. They are quick to throw around meaningless concoctions like “Reverse racism” and “Black on black crime”.

For example, during the 2011 London riot, I made a Facebook post about how I wanted to go out wearing my hooded leather jacket but looked in the mirror and thought, “Wrong skin colour, wrong place and wrong time” and discarded the hooded jacket. I also mentioned that I was glad my teenage son was not in London during the riot because of his skin colour and police prejudice, especially during a riot. Some of my online white friends were quick to admonish me for my concerns. A white friend said she was hurt that I felt that way! Those white friends with whom I joined hands to condemn sexism said my feelings and fears concerning racism were not valid. To them, concerns about racism in Britain is just an excuse black people use to be racist towards white people!

There was the time I posted a picture of black Barbie dolls that were selling at much lower price than white Barbie 423904_10150713985681873_1770900952_ndolls and a white female friend with whom I share a common interest in addressing fatshaming and promoting body acceptance, said I was being too sensitive.  She claimed i was just trying to find faults were there was none. When I told her I could write a treatise on the implications of the picture, she immediately unfriended me. At that point, I was no longer the feminist friend she fights body shaming with; I was a loud, angry black woman who sees racism in everything.

It is sad those white feminists are easily annoyed when black women of colour raise concerns about racism and its effects We can be their friends if we only care about the things our white friends care about. We can be body positive allies, we can rant against online sexism together, but we are not allowed to talk about other issues that do not affect them as white women. When we start talking about racism, we stop being their cool black friends. We become just another angry loud-mouthed black woman. We become the stereotype they have been warned about.

White feminists should stop being so irked when black people point out racism. We get it, racism is not top of your agenda as white feminists, racism does not affect your daily life, but kindly sit your privileged white ass down for a minute and actually listen to why it is important for us to talk about racism and address ways you could be racist or enable racism without even realising it. Surely, this should not be too difficult to do or too big a thing to ask.

4- It is much more than just an African American Vs UK suffrage movement debate

I don’t have to be an African American to find the t-shirts message repulsive, appalling, disconcerting, classist and racist. I did not need to know the connection between the word ‘rebel’ and ‘confederates’ before i was appalled by the quote on the t-shirts. As a black African Nigerian woman resident in London, I was immediately repulsed when I saw the white women cast of the film smiling into the camera wearing t-shirts with the slogan “I’d rather be a rebel than be a slave’.  As a feminist, I went “Err, how thoughtless!

If I was on a protest ground with fellow feminists fighting for equality and some white feminists wore these T-shirts, I would certainly side-eye them and probably engage them in discussion on why it was an offensive T-shirt especially in the context of our shared fight for equality and the need for intersectionality.

Treating the issue as if it were just a case of difference between the UK’s suffrage movement and America’s suffrage movement only serves to silence the voices of other feminists who are not nationals of those two mighty nations.  By solely centering the debate on the difference between suffrage movements in America and Britain, they ignore the fact that there are feminists outside those two regions who find these t-shirts slogan appalling and disconcerting. This centrist focus further treats feminists of other nationals as irrelevant and invisible.

Dear white feminists, Britain and America are not the be-all and end-all of everything feminism. There are feminists outsides those two shores and they are also concerned and affected by the message promoted in the photoshoot.

5- Being a rebel does not automatically exclude anyone from being a slave

One can be a rebel and still be a slave of an oppressive system. One can be a rebel and a slave.

One can be a feminist and still be enslaved by patriarchy. Slave is not a title one award to oneself. ‘Slave’ identity was forced on enslaved humans.

A rebel makes a conscious decision to rebel against the status quo. It is a physical and sometimes mental expression to break away from the status quo.  However, the mere act of being a rebel does not abolish the status quo.

Slavery is not just a mental state; it is a physical state as well. Those who benefit from the status quo and who are empowered by the system force it on others less fortunate than them. Also, during the slave trade era, many slaves were rebels but this did not mean they stopped being slaves.

6- It blames and shames the victims of systemic oppression

Do we now shame victims of oppression for choosing to survive rather than die as rebels while in ‘white terms’we define who qualifies as a ‘rebel’?

How is it OK to blame victims of oppression? How is it even acceptable to shame victims who are already subjected to gross violations of their human rights? Is it their fault that they could not break away from the chains of oppression?

The women in Saudi Arabia who are not allowed to drive cars or go out without a male chaperone are victims of patriarchy, religion and culture. Many of these women are rebels in their own way. Some of them challenge the status quo using strategies available to them within the constraints of their culture and environment. Who are we to look down on them and declare, “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave”?

Who says they are not rebels in their own way?

Who says the white idea of rebellion is the best way and only way to be a rebel?

Is it that unless they discard of their hijabs and go naked on the streets to protest their oppression, they are not rebels and therefore have chosen to rather be slaves?

My friends in high schools and the many African girls who were subjected to female genital mutilation did not have the option to be rebels; they were just kids who fell victim to an awful cultural practice that stems from patriarchy. They did not choose to not be rebels, they were victims.

Women who are trafficked and held as sex slaves did not choose not to be rebels; they are victims.

Going by the logic of “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave”, we can now blame and shame the innocent schoolgirls captured by the Nigerian Islamist terrorist group, Boko Haram.  We can wear our fancy t-shirts and look down on them from our high position and wonder –

  • Why on earth are they still choosing to be a slave to Boko Haram rather than be rebels like us”?
  • How dare they not have escaped, organised freedom speeches and lynch their captors?
  • How dare they not be rebels? How dare they remain slaves!

Yeah, somehow, some white feminists thought it was ok to dress white women in t-shirts with the thoughtless quote “I’d rather be  a rebel than a slave”, as a rallying call against sexism and patriarchy while they look down their noses on those who have allegedly ‘chosen’ to be slaves. No dear white feminists, it does not work that way.

“I’d rather be a rebel than a slave” is a victim-blaming slogan. Such slogans only serve to divide rather than unite. It is classist, it is racist, it is divisive, and it is insensitive.

7- As an Emmeline Pankhurst quote, it is still questionable in context, and on T-shirts

The fact that a famous suffragette said these words in a rally 100 years ago does not validate the appropriateness of the quote for all time. It does not even mean the quote was appropriate for its time, especially not when many suffragettes were racists and did not encourage the full participation of women of colour in the suffrage movement. Emmeline Pankhurst whose quote it was could hardly be held up as a paragon of racial equality. Therefore, even in its original context, the words are not that palatable.

Messages on promotional T-shirts are powerful; they send a message across to a diverse audience. I learned to be conscious of t-shirts message in my teens.  As a teenager growing up in Nigeria, I bought a pretty second hand pink t-shirt with the words “Touch the mountains” emblazoned on it. In my naiveté, I thought, it carried a profound message like “Reach for the sky” or “fly high”. However, I was constantly surprised when strangers, particularly men on the streets, would read the slogan aloud and try to touch my boobs. When I jumped in surprise or got angry, they would say, “But you said to touch the mountains”. Well, to them, the “Touch the mountains” slogan on my t-shirt meant, “Touch my boobs”, because to them, boobs are mountains! It took me longer than I was proud of to finally figure out that the message on that t-shirt could be construed as a lewd invitation rather than a motivational message.  Since that sexist, abusive experience, I tend to seriously scrutinise the words on any t-shirt I put on.

Would I wear a t-shirt with the quote, “I would rather be a rebel than a slave”? No, I would not.

Would I be happy if my fellow feminists, especially white feminists don this t-shirt? No, I would not.

Would I yank it off them if they did? No, I would not.

However, I would attempt to let them know why the T-shirt is offensive and insensitive. Sometimes, people just don’t get the underlying harmful message in a t-shirt slogan, a supposedly powerful quote, or even in a protest song.

8- White women equating sexism to slavery is disgusting

When I shared one of the articles pointing out the white feminism in the “Suffragette” film’s photoshoot on my WhiteTearsfacebook wall, a white woman immediately commented-

So white women have never been slaves? Slavery is something that have ONLY happened to black people?

As I was not inclined to humour her, I asked her to go educate herself and take her trolling ass off my wall, to which she responded

 You can block me and delete my comments – as you can block and delete the history of abuse against all women including white women in your own mind. But the truth will not go away.

As it was one of these days that it was easier to reach for the block button than write a treatise, I blocked her ass. Unfortunately, this inane, disgusting, and ridiculous argument keeps surfacing.

Do we really want to start playing the game of “I was a victim too, how dare you complain!”

Do we really want to compare the sexism suffered by white women to the Atlantic slave trade?

Were black men able to legally purchase white women as slaves? NO.

White women enjoyed the inhuman privilege of owning black slaves.

By virtue of their skin colour, white women could whip, sell or lynch their black slaves.

Yes, sexism curtailed the social standing of white women; however, racism raised the social status of white women.

It is disgusting for a white woman to diminish or trivialise the effects of racism by citing sexism. White women did not suffer mass murders in the name of sexism. Black people were massacred and hung en masse. Black Africans were thrown off slave ships into the oceans alive sometimes under very frivolous circumstances as insurance claim.  Those who survived the brutal, degrading, disease ridden journeys were on arrival paraded like animals, sold to the highest bidders, brutally branded, forced to learn new language, take their owners’ names and were worked to death under inhuman conditions. Comparing this abhorrent time in the history of humankind to sexism is highly ignorant, offensive, and appalling.10629642_1500839566828578_601239324720944857_n

Meryl Streep and her “Suffragette” movie co-stars posing with t-shirts that read, “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave”, screams white feminism. It sends across the awful message that white women concerns are more important than intersectional feminism. We cannot address inequality while ignoring racism.  We cannot do feminism without taking on board intersectionality. We cannot successfully tackle inequality without breaking down the systemic barriers that foster inequality.

Five Assumptions We Should Avoid Making

I was working out at my gym when two gym regulars decided to strike up a conversation with me.

Gym regular (Male) – You have lost a lot of weight

Gym regular (Female) -Yeah, I told her so too.

Me – Oh, yeah, thanks, the hard work is showing.

Gym regular (Male) – I am sure your husband will be happy

Me – I don’t have a husband. I am single

Gym Regulars – What, you mean you are single? [Read more…]

I Am Beautiful and I know It

It is so cringeworthy when people tell me i am beautiful and I accept it at face value with a nod to my own beauty but as a reward they want me to grovel at their feet or expect I say something self-devaluing like  “Oh no, you are just being nice, I am not all that.” Of course, i am all that and much more too, thanks for the observation!

I woke up this morning to this awesome video by Daysha Edewi titled “What If I Knew I Was Beautiful”. My fb friend had commented on the video on Facebook and tagged me and I went, “OMG, this video is so me!” [Read more…]

Serena Williams: Racism, Sexism and the Champion

Serena Williams gave us another ‪‎Serenaslam. She is unarguably one of the greatest of all times. At 33, when most men and women champions are catching their retirement cheques, Serena Williams is saying ‘You aint seen anything yet!’ Serena Williams is at her best ever and she is here to stay. What an inspirational athlete!


The Williams sisters not only changed the face of Tennis, they took it to a higher level. In a game where racism still unashamedly rears its ugly head, where sexism and beauty stereotypes mean the best athlete who happens to be black, gets less endorsement deals than the white blonde she has dominated for years, one cannot but admire the determination of the Williams sisters to excel in their game. Their many victories are inspirational and legendary.

We cannot ignore the racism the Williams sisters have faced over the years in a game that is predominantly white and traditionally elitist. [Read more…]

BeingFemaleInNigeria: The viral hashtag, the tweets and my take on it

#BeingFemaleInNigeria is a hashtag that went viral in Nigeria just barely hours after it was first tweeted by members of a small book club. The hashtag started trending in many countries including UK. I would have loved for the hashtag to read ‘BeingaWomanInNigeria’ because the word ‘Female’ has its own social construct problem. However, i am over the moon that this very important conversation, which got the whole nation talking, was started by a very small book club.

The book club members had gathered to read their book of the month, an essay titled ‘We Should All Be Feminists’ by Nigerian award winning author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. According to a member of the book club, Florence Warmate, the discussion got very interesting and members started sharing their personal experiences of sexism in Nigeria. They decided not to leave it there but start a conversation on social media about what it is like being a woman in Nigeria.

Florence Warmate posted her first tweet on the subject using the agreed hashtag #BeingFemaleInNigeria. Hours later, it was trending on twitter. It was interesting that a small group of women could ignite a national discussion via social media in a matter of hours. Clearly, it was a discussion Nigerian women (and some men too), were dying to have. [Read more…]

Periods: The Shame and Shaming

I am not a fan of the menstrual cycle but i understand it is a natural part of making new human lives and this is great. If there was any intelligent designer, aka God, women wouldn’t need to bleed every month for new human lives to be possible, and this is one reason i can say God is not a woman.

It is sad that the society portrays menstruation as an obscene, dirty thing women should be ashamed of. As a teenager, I was scared and ashamed to go into chemists’ shops to purchase sanitary pads and it did not help that the people behind the counters were usually men. Most times, I found myself going from one shop to the other, praying and hoping there would be a woman behind the counter. If the shame i felt could kill, i would have died at the spot!

Thanks to feminism and the liberation it brings, I now buy my sanitary pads and tampons with pride. Gone are the days I made extra efforts to keep my sanitary pads hidden under the bulk of my shopping, now i make a point of not hiding it under any grocery/shopping. This ‘little’ act feels like liberation from century old shackles. [Read more…]

Losing weight is not an endorsement or indictment of another woman’s body: Stop the Fatphobia!

I posted some recent pictures of myself on my facebook wall with the following caption:IMG-20150202-WA0002

Dividends of working out at the gym.
I can have a sleepover at my mum’s and not bother to take extra clothing, just so i can walk away with some of her new clothes and of course jewellery. Now, she can’t say, “Yemisi, don’t take it, it is not your size!” lol!
Jacket- My sister’s (Now mine)
Red sweater underneath- My mum’s (Now mine)
Brand new Leggings- My mum’s (Now mine)
Hair – All mine, just nicely retouched for me by my mum.
Winning all round!

Yemmylicious ed

Funny enough, a facebook friend who also identifies as an atheist came on the post thread and left a series of comments. These comments exposed an underlying hatred of plus size women, sexism and showed an endorsement of street harassment , cos well, according to him, women are supposed to provide visual orgasms for strangers on the streets, and you should be ashamed if you are not deemed sexy enough by strangers. BTW, he thinks only outsiders can decide if you are sexy or not.

Anyway, I decided to share these exchanges because, you never know just how many people especially those who claim to be rational thinkers, share these vile opinions. [Read more…]

Calling Out Misogyny or Bullying is Not An Attack; It is a Social Duty!

There is this unfortunate trend in social media where calling out someone for their sexist, misogynist, and/or inhumane remarks is seen more as an invitation for a fight rather than an opportunity to engage in rational discussion. Many, especially women, are discouraged from calling out sexist, misogynist, or stereotype remarks made by friends on social media like Facebook or Twitter, for fear of being tagged as the “type of feminist that gives feminism a bad name”.

There seems to be a renewed effort to tag outspoken,social justice conscious women as aggressive, judgemental, over-sensitive ‘bitches’ who just want to ruin everyone’s fun. It is particularly sad that this type of silencing technique is becoming even more prevalent in the Humanist/Atheist space.

November 17th-24th is  anti-bullying week and I pledged sometime ago not to be a bystander when I witness bullying. Of course, this has somehow earned me a reputation as the “fun ruiner”, especially amongst some of my fb friends.  Whenever i post or comment on such issues, it is at the risk of being referred to as the “type of feminist” they don’t like. Therefore, such discussions tend to irritate some ‘friends’ and many do get aggressively defensive when called out. However, i am sure that those who resort to aggressive behaviour when called out on how they treat others do not deserve the space they occupy on my virtual/real friendship list, simples.

I was shocked when I came across the status update below from a somehow close FB friend who identify as humanist and feminist: [Read more…]

On the street harassment video: Calling out racism should not drown out the sexism in the video.

When I watched the street harassment video titled 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman, my first thought was, forget 10 hours, that is my experience as a woman 557264_423393704397930_1730387465_nwalking the 10 minutes distance to my gym!

Catcalls and street harassments are daily experiences many women have learned to live with. Many of us have spoken out against this experience many times. However, are we ever taken seriously? No. Instead, trolls invade such posts with excuses like “Not every man”, “I am not your kind of feminist”, “This is why I hate feminists”… blahblahblah

Therefore, I was actually happy just to see a video documenting an actual experience of catcalls and street harassment going viral. In all honesty, I was not looking at the skin colour of the guys in the video, I was more about their words and often I went,  oh, I have heard that or oh that is a popular one. I guess to me, my street harassers have one thing in common, they are men, they say the same shit, they want control, they treat me like objects, and they feel entitled to my body. They are men that feel entitled to my time, who feel they must compliment my body and they get annoyed when I don’t beam at their validation of my beauty. They get angry when I don’t smile when they command me to smile on the street while going about my errands, some even get violent when I don’t reciprocate their unsolicited attention. They do all these regardless of their skin colour. So nope, I was not watching out for skin colour of my everyday street harasser in that video because what binds street harassers together is not their skin colour but their male identity, male privilege or better put, misogyny.

However, I was glad when people started pointing out the racial aspect of the video, especially when the maker of the video was exposed for a similar racist editing he had done in a previous ad video and also a homeless man makeover ad video.  The discussions were good and enlightening.

However, as a woman who is very much affected by this catcalling, street harassment culture, I am worried that in an attempt to call out racism, focus is being taken [Read more…]

Just another sexist and racist encounter at the hospital

After many failed attempts to get an appointment at the surgery, I decided I was not going to endure another restless, sleepless, sweaty, tossing and turning night, so I dragged myself to my local Accident & Emergency/Walk in Center. At the entrance to the hospital is a big sign that reads, “If you have flu, stay at home, and call your GP”.  Well, I have flu-like symptoms and I have spent the last three days trying to get an appointment with my GP to no avail.  Majority of the NHS surgeries now have a rule that one can only book an appointment on the particular day within the hour of 8:00am -9:00am. Anything outside that, one would have to wait until the next day and start the process again. The problem is, as soon as it is 8:00am, the line becomes engaged. Try every minute and you will keep getting the busy tone. It is frustrating.

Anyway, I decided I have not been diagnosed with Flu, I needed treatment, and i am not going to self-diagnose or self-prescribe. Therefore, I walked to the reception room, and requested to see a doctor.

The following discussion ensued- [Read more…]

Creeps, creeps, creeps everywhere; Atheist movement sure has more than its fair share of creeps!

An enlightening piece titled Will Misogyny Bring Down The Atheist Movement? was recently published on buzzfeed by Mark Oppenheimer. It is a long read that exposes the sexist, misogynistic behaviour of some well-known male Atheists leaders. I guess they are referred to as Atheist leaders because they are well paid to speak at atheists events, coveted by the media and well, some of them have written popular books, but as an atheist and feminist, I wouldn’t think of many of these creeps as ‘leaders’ in any way.


The article particularly focused on the many allegations of sexual harassment surrounding Michael Shermer. It also exposes the indefensible thought process of those in power who have protected and shielded him from the consequences of his questionable actions towards women at Atheist conventions.
James Randy was quoted in the article as saying- [Read more…]

Everyday Sexism: Catcalls and Street Harassment

Every time I step outside my door to go about my daily business, I brace myself for the inevitable catcalls and various street harassment. I am557264_423393704397930_1730387465_n used to these catcalls. Catcalls are a constant reminder that I am a woman in a patriarchal society. However, I still get angry at the catcalls and the unwanted, unsolicited attention thrown my way on the street. I still get riled up when I am accosted on the street by strangers who have no qualms about asking me to smile for them. Even though these are daily occurrences, I still get angry and sad each time it occurs.  For example:

Just this morning I was rushing to make an appointment, when out of the blues, a guy suddenly stuck his coconut shaped head mere inches from my face and asked “Where is the smile?” I had to take a deep breath to resist the urge to make a snarky comment like “Your coconut head just smashed a month’s worth of smiles from my face”.

It still beats me why men think every woman who dared to walk the street owe them a smile. I bet this toady, ignoramus man would not dare stick his coconut head on the face of another man he hardly knows on the street and go “Where is the smile?” He would probably get punched in the face and people would say he deserved to be punched. But, if I as a woman had reacted that way or even caused a scene, I would be called an overreacting, sensitive, ungrateful bitch. Yeah, it’s a sexist, chauvinistic world alright, different rules apply.  All I could do was side-stepped his coconut head and walked away from his toady eyes without a comment. I was not about to let one of the many chauvinist ignoramuses walking the street make me miss an important appointment. The sad part is, most times, women do not even have the choice to just walk away as my next sexist encounter shows. [Read more…]

When we say #BlackLifeMatters, please don’t butt in with your blind privilege.

Elon James White‏@elonjames

If I say #BlackLifeMatters and your response is “Why not EVERY life?” Unfollow me. You dont get it & I dont have time to explain it to you.”


I came across the tweet above and i had to say, “Well said, Elon James White, well said“. Unfortunately this kind of tweets always get some of my white friends on facebook in a twist. What is so unfortunate is that some of them think they are well meaning people who want equal rights for all. If only they would take a minute to do their research and understand how the society they live in works. Everyone should learn to see their own privilege, be it skin colour, sexual identity, sex birth, geographical location, religion or class.

To be blind to your privilege is to not understand or see how you benefit from the society due to your status, a status you might not be conscious of but which is enough to deny the persons who don’t have that status the benefits you get. Heck, it might even cause the persons their lives while you go around not even acknowledging that you have that privilege. Yes, it is frustrating.

A few of my very good white friends on social media think this is sad and they don’t like it when I put up such status calling out [Read more…]

Physically attacked at an atheist event by a fellow ‘feminist’ atheist!

I always thought if I were ever to be attacked by someone I only knew from social media especially Facebook, it would be by a homophobe, biphobe, 385838_210204545725456_192116174200960_481213_799145023_ntransphobe or a religious fanatic who didn’t like my LGBT rights advocacy or anti-religion posts. Never in my dreams would I have thought I would experience a physical attack and verbal abuse at an atheist event from a female Facebook friend who identifies as a feminist and an atheist!

Until now, my casual encounters with people who only knew me from Facebook have been positive. From the ones I ran into in London tubes to the ones who excitedly introduced themselves as my fb friends at social events or gave me heartfelt hugs at London pride, it has been positive experience until now. Get ready to hear the full gist, don’t forget to get your popcorn! [Read more…]