Happpy 48th Birthday to me!

Wishing myself a very happy 48th Birthday on planet earth. This has not been the happiest of my birthdays as the past few months have been about healing from loss and fighting hard to not let the haters, who can’t stand BlackGirlMagic, silence my voice at work.

However, I am grateful for life, good health and prosperity. I am proud that in the face of adversities, my crown has not slipped, this queen is still standing strong and proud.

The past year has tested and reminded me of things that have kept me strong, happy and contented over the years. They are also things I will be taking into the next stage of my life. A few of these reminders are-

1- I am my own tribe and there is nothing wrong with this because j am enough.

2- Never sweat the small stuff, life is too short

3- When things gets tough, take a deep breath, adjust my crown and face life head high.

4- Never expect anything from anyone because the things I value most, compassion, empathy, loyalty and honesty, are the things humans find most difficult to give.

5- Continue to be myself wherever I go. My whole self is a gift to anyone lucky enough to be in my presence.

6- Never let the world change my smile or take away my joy. My life is mine to live, not for others to ruin.

7- Remember the loved ones I have lost with happiness because they live on in my heart .Therefore I must make my heart a happy place for them to be.

8- Family are those who love, respect and show me compassion. Never let blood determine who I call family or who stay in my life.

9- Hold my loved ones closer to my heart because the greatest gift of all is unconditional love.

10- Live. Love. Laugh today because tomorrow is never promised.

Thanks to everyone who has enriched my life one way or the other, may we all celebrate many more years of love, happiness and good health.

It’s My 46th Birthday!

It’s my 46th year on planet earth today! I still remember the day I was born, okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit. The years I do remember makes me feel like I’ve lived three livetimes already because I have truly lived.

I’ve experienced life’s twin fountains of pleasures and pains, love and loss, happiness and sadness, good health and bad health but I knew they were all part of the deal called Life.

I am very grateful for where I am today and for the people that have been part of my journey through different stages in my life. Those that passed through it and those that are still part of it. You all contributed whether positively or negatively to my experience in life so far and those experiences, good or bad, have contributed to my emotional and mental growth.

Life is a beautiful story as long as we keep writing our pages and chapters in our own words, on our own terms and live it unapologetically.

I raise a glass today and toast everything that makes me the extraordinarily fierce, passionate, mentally and emotionally intelligent, discerning, sexy, strong, independent, beautiful black woman I am today. To many more years of living life with a passion.

My birthday is not complete without my annual birthday dance. This year I celebrated with the beats from motherland and danced to the music of the legendary King of juju music, King Sunny Ade. What better tune to shake my original land cruiser to than the beats of KSA.
Emi o ba won wa, emi o ni ba won lo…

Happy Birthday to me.

 

 

Christmas, Covid19 and Fatphobia.

Christmas 2020 was all about self-love and selfcare for me. It was a much needed body appreciation day.

With Covid19, working from home, closure of gyms, etc it is tiring to listen to people complain constantly about getting fat. Most often than not, the language used is very fatphobic. “Fat” is used as a dirty word as if getting fat is the worst thing ever!

People never stop to consider the effect of Fatphobia on the mental health of the majority of women and men who do not fit the stereotypes of beauty standards. It was time for me to switch off that societal judgemental voice confronting me from every angle especially since about 5 years ago, I lost almost half my body weight at the gym but gained it all back within the last year.

For me, I know I’m beautiful at whatever size or shape because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, gawd, how I behold myself! As the saying goes, the woman who does not require the validation of anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

In this fatphobic society, it is important to practice radical self-love. Love yourself so unconditionally and unapologetically that unsolicited opinions on your body does not matter or count. Your mental health will thank you for it.

Feeling festive and very thankfull for inner peace, contentment and the strenght to love myself unconditionally in a very judgmental society.

it has been a particularly tough year for many, but I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. Spending Xmas alone is not unusual for me. For me, the key is to find these things that make me happy and be self-indulgent. Dressing up just to take pics and dancing are two things that instantly lift mood. Find your happiness withing yourself; the hero lies in you.

Not everyone can have a happy holiday; it has been an especially sad year for some, with many lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that will not judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this holiday period, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will. Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and do not forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

This Xmas, I finally made the best Xmas Turkey ever! My Xmas turkey was so moist, succulent and so full of flavour, I almost cried with joy! It was the first time i got it so right with no but. It was Masterchef perfect! I will be making Turkey stew, Equisi/ Vegetable soup with it and of course reserve some to eat with soaked garri!

My Christmas isn’t complete without my annual Xmas dance. Enjoy!

Ho Ho Ho…Happy Secular Holiday!

Not everyone can have a happy holiday.

It has been an especially sad year for some, with many young lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

[Read more…]

It’s My Birthday; Time to Shake What My Mama Gave Me!

It’s my birthday and it’s not complete without my annual birthday dance. Every year I do a birthday dance on my birthday, and I enjoy comparing the dance videos to see how far I have come, interesting memories.

It has been a particularly difficult and emotionally tasking year with the sudden loss of my mum. I had to process different emotions in my personal life and confront prevalent social ills in my professional life, especially made difficult as the only black person in an all-white work environment where the words ‘Inclusivity and diversity’ are alien language.

However, despite it all, as I turn 43 today, I feel like a hot pie and the only girl in the world.

This is my first birthday as an orphan and I especially miss my beautiful mum because she would have woken me up with a birthday song and try to sneak in some unsolicited prayers! I miss her so much today. I dedicate this birthday dance to my departed beloved parents. You were my vehicles to this world, and I appreciate it.

Thanks to everyone who touched my life in one way or another and left positive impacts. To these who left only negative memories, may our parts never cross again. Positive vibes only.

Thanks, lovely people for all the birthday greetings and lovely wishes, much appreciated.

Happy Birthday to me…it’s time to shake what my mama gave me!

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Baby, You Are Beautiful – Dance Video

Some of us know we are.

Some of us don’t believe we are.

Some of us let society tell us otherwise.

Beauty comes in different colours, shapes and sizes.

Baby, You Are Beautiful.  Snapshot_20160515_252

What makes you beautiful is Not

Because you don’t know you are beautiful,

But because you simply are.

Do you; with or without make-up

Rock you; whatever your body size, shape or ability.

Celebrate your body; even if the society says you shouldn’t.

Flaunt these curves; even if they claim you aren’t beach ready.

Embrace and shower your body with Love.

Cos baby, You are You.

And Baby,

You Are Beautiful.

Background Music by One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

Snapshot_20160515_176 Snapshot_20160515_88

Winter might be upon us but nothing is going to take away my sunshine; let’s dance!

What better way to herald a new month than to dance away the pains, sorrows, regrets, betrayals, dashed hopes and disappointments of the past month. What does not kill us makes us stronger.

As I wrote in my poem: ‘Chin Up and Weather the Storm’

Life dishes out its mixture of pain and pleasureSnapshot_20151028_24

With pressure, we appreciate more our treasures

Stricken down, rise up and look beyond the snares

This too shall pass for nothing stays the same

When it is all falling apart, just stay strong

Chin up and weather the storm!

Winter might be upon us but nothing is going to take away my sunshine.

As Albert Camus said-

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Nothing lifts my spirits better than good music and the liberty to dance to my favourite tunes whenever I feel like. Music and dance are the choice flavour of my body and soul!

Here is to all Survivors; keep surviving and live life the best you can. Enjoy my dance video!

 

My Birthday Dance and Musings: Already Loving my 40s!

I am grateful for four amazing decades on planet earth. I am eagerly looking forward to new challenges and more20150816_141924 resised ftb jpg amazing experiences in the coming years!

I am especially looking forward to starting a new job as a union organiser with one of the largest trade unions in UK. I missed being a full time trade unionist and I am so looking forward to working with union activists and organising workers again!

I started working for the labour movement in my early twenties and with the responsibility of fighting for workers’ rights came many opportunities to see the world from different angles. The views can be very depressing especially when it comes to class stratification, oppression, exploitation of labour, crass capitalism and its uneven division of wealth built on the backs of the long-suffering majority who toil every day to earn a living wage but never get to enjoy the wealth created by their labour. However, sometimes the view can be very exhilarating, especially when the voiceless find their voices through union organising, and against all odds, conquer to achieve great successes, fuelled by strength in unity and propelled by hope in a better tomorrow, while demanding for a better today. The last few years of my 30s were pretty challenging, mostly due to having to start afresh in a new, unfamiliar environment as a single parent with a teenage son who was about to enrol in college. I did not plan to be an immigrant in UK or anywhere else, but sometimes, even though we have our life already neatly planned, circumstances beyond our control could force us to depart from our schedule.

Leaving behind a comfortable life and job security to start afresh in a strange land was not an easy decision to make. [Read more…]