Spending Xmas alone but gladly not lonely!

I am alone but not lonely this Xmas. My son is off somewhere in US enjoying Xmas in the snow and my family members in UK are 380602_4170850911488_21843259_ncelebrating in Manchester. Even though I have invites to join in the sometimes forced Xmas hilarity, I chose to spend the day alone. NOPE, it is not because I am an atheist  and BTW, choosing to spend Christmas day alone does not make me anti-social.

Spending the day with my feet up is kinda fun, cos I get to indulge on all the cakes and ice-creams without anyone ‘judging’ me. Plus I get to catch up on my writings, check my accumulated dating sites messages and watch my favorite Xmas movies including ‘Home Alone’ for the 100th time!

 It is OK to be alone on Xmas; it is even OK to feel lonely on Xmas. A lot has been invested by big companies into making the day seems like one endless day of family fun for everyone. What with the big Christmas adverts consisting mostly of big family dinners and of course gifts under the Xmas trees. And oh, damn if you are not in love on Xmas day, what with all the mistletoe hanging everywhere, you should at least be kissed on Xmas day. lol!

 If you are not off partying, opening presents under the Xmas trees or getting swept off your feet under the mistletoe, don’t be disappointed, you aren’t alone. In fact, welcome to the reality of many!

Xmas does not stop being like every other day just because of the Christmas trees, bright lights and gifts. People still receive bad news 12564_10151385279356873_843091362_nduring Christmas period, people still lose loved ones, there are grieving mothers and grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers and worst of all, there are starving children on Xmas day.

 Not everyone will have a happy holiday, so  for those who are grieving this festive period,  I wish you all the fortitude to bear your loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong. Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up for it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

BTW, I just got the opportunity to video Skype with my 19 year old son, who for the first time isn’t spending Christmas with me. I noticed he was enjoying a plate of fried rice with berries. Berries, I mean berries? Where the heck is the chicken? If he was with me now, he would have his face stuffed with a whole big nicely barbecued chicken! Who eats berries on Xmas! tag4

Anyway, I asked why he did not take his bath and dress up for Xmas before eating especially since it is Christmas day. He replied:

 “Mum, it is just around 10:00am here, I don’t even dress up for my own birthday, why should I do so on Christmas!”

 Needless to say, that made my day. :)

 Here is wishing you all Happy Holidays!

Because you are a decent person does not mean your religion is not harmful: My 24 hour ordeal with religion.

I shared my post about the Twenty Reasons I am distressed by Religion and its Believers on my Facebook wall and as usual, some religious believers felt the need to defend religion with the usual “Religion is not harmful; it is some few bad believers that  make it appear so“. I am really tired of explaining to self righteous religious believers that their religion is in and of itself harmful and yes, it causes us non believers, distress. Here is an example of such comment from a decent person who just happens to be a religious believer.

 My dearest, religion if practiced in truth and in spirit is a way to cope with life’s difficulties.
Do not be distressed. If you can teach people how to cope with difficulties, you have a religion.
Religion is a discipline, a way of life to deal with life issues. Some have become predators using religion to take advantage of others—those I abhor.

I gave you my definition of religion. My definition does not include preying on children and calling them witches. No. Those who prey on others in the name of religion must be brought to line seriously.
Religion is about grace, mercy and faith and hope….We live by the principles of those who have been passionate and died for a cause. It is a choice and a way of life. Everyone has a religion.

While I appreciate and understand the way this commenter tried to paint religion, I must point out that Religion in its ordinary and accepted meaning is not “a discipline” or “a way of life to deal with life issues.” Religion is based on the belief and practice that [Read more…]

Nigerian/African Anglican Bishops threaten to secede from Church of England over samesex marriage: A case of an apprentice arguing with the inventor about the contents of their invention

It was widely reported that:

“Anglican Bishops in Nigeria and the entire Bishops of Anglican communion in the entire Global South has threatened once again to pull out from the Church of England, if the Archbishop of Canterbury continues to recognize gay marriages, homosexuality, lesbianism and all other forms of social vices that permits same sex marriage.

The Bishop of Enugu Diocese, Church of Nigeria, Anglican communion, Rt. Rev. Dr. Emmanuel Olisa Chukkwuma said the entire Bishops of Anglican communion under GAFCON, which covers the nations of the ‘Global South’ spoke with one voice, stating that the sanctity of the Marriage institution as prescribed in the Holy Bible, which says it must be between a man and woman, must be maintained without compromise.

ANGLICANIt is pathetic that the people whose ancestors were forced to practice a foreign religion at gun point now defend same religion with such vigor that they even claim to know more about the religion than those who forced it on their ancestors.

As the Yoruba adage says- “Eni to ri nko e, to fe ku pelu e o, owo eni to ti sonu nko”. (Roughly translated as – When a person who finds a lost item belonging to another  holds tenaciously onto it, in a ‘do or die’ manner, what about the person who originally lost the item?)

Laughing and at the same time shaking my head at the utmost stupidity of those Nigerian/African Anglican leaders.Just secede and stop making ignorant noises! I’d say good riddance to bad rubbish.

Obviously these Bishops are not very familiar with their Bible because if they were, they would know that there are many types of Marriages approved by their Precious Holy Book including but not limited to- [Read more…]

“Batty Man, Lesbians and dem Atheists cause bad weather”: Encountering Sexism, Homophobia and Religious delusion in one move!

It certainly was not one of those days when I looked forward to dealing with a sexist, homophobic bigot, not that I ever look forward to encountering any of that, but when ‘my dear one’ asked me to help supervise the van removal drivers that were to move her things to a new place, I wasn’t expecting to confront all that in a single move.

She reminded me to thoroughly check the inside of the van to make sure none of her things was (intentionally or not) left behind in the van. She then added “They are Jamos, so make sure you check”. ‘Jamos’ is Nigerian short term for Jamaicans. Needless to say, I was irritated at this.  I mean, what has their nationality got to do with how trustworthy they are? I know she would still have insisted I check the van if the van removal drivers were Nigerians, Americans or Britons. But I doubt if she would have added their Nationality for emphasis. Well, If they were fellow Nigerians, she probably would have added that, but if they were Britons, I doubt she would. Yes, I did call her out on this as I am not a fan of discrimination of any kind. [Read more…]

The Politics of Colour: Being an invisible minority within an invisible minority

Bisexuals are not a very visible part of the LGBT community. Unfortunately biphobia is very much alive within the Lgbt community. This unfortunate issue has been cause for Bisexuals to come together to organize and gain more visibility in the LGBT communityDSC_0951 new.

When I moved to UK in 2009, I was eager to join the LGBT community and also be part of the bisexual community. I soon realized that although it is easy to have a social life beyond virtual interactions with Lesbians and gays activists, it is very difficult to actually meet bisexual activists.

Almost all the LGBT events I attended were dominated by homosexual concerns, nothing much about bisexuality. I have had to raise the question of more bi visibility at these events.

I also noticed that it is one thing to find Bisexual events, it is quite another to find people of colour represented at these events. Unlike most lgbt events (which are actually gay dominated events), there are at least a noticeable number of people of colour, the few bisexual events I have attended failed in this area.

Sometime last year, after making enquires about bi groups and events in UK, a Bi friend who lives outside UK sent me a link to a bi weekend event organized by bisexual activists in UK.  I was glad to attend and was also happy that one of the main themes for the weekend was Race. The event was held outside London and I had to travel a bit to get to the destination, optimistic that it was going to be a great weekend with fellow bi activists. [Read more…]

Reactions to my recent interview make me wonder: Do Nigerians Hate Atheists more than Gays?

DSC_0961I already know that many Nigerian Christians are really stupid; I just wish I could get over the severity of their stupidity and the glee with which they display it. My recent interview  in a National Nigerian Newspaper, TELL Magazine,  has given them an opportunity to display their ignorance, bigotry and delusion on various Naija blogs that shared the interview.

Reading the various comments many Nigerians left on this blog and this blog, amongst many others that reblogged the interview,  has left me wondering if Nigerians hate Atheists more than gays!

Warning, if you are likely to want to gouge your eyes out when you read homophobic, ignorant comments, I’d advice you steer clear of the comment sections on these blogs.

Unfortunately, these religious believers and die-hard homophobes are not content with displaying their Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia and God delusions on the comment sections of these blogs. They are also very keen to share it with me on my facebook inbox and wall.

  • Many Nigerian religious believers are stupid enough to think invoking the wrath of their Skydaddy on me is scary.
  • They are bigoted enough to insist on sharing their imaginary God with me.
  • They bombard my inbox with silly scriptural verses as if quoting from their bible or Quran somehow m599780_10151137996406873_6890324_nakes their God real. In that case Batman is as real as their God; after all I can quote from Batman series.
  • Nigerian Christians throw tantrums because I do not wish to play with their imaginary Holy Trinity friends; God, Jesus and Holy Ghost. How very childish!

And to crown their stupidity, they leave ignorant, bigoted, hateful comments on my posts and interviews and then go ahead to request that I add them as friends on Facebook! Really, how much more stupid can they get! I bet like Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo did to Ese Walters, these bigoted religious homophobes want to show me a level of grace I cannot comprehend. ROTFLMAO! [Read more…]

Order your sizzling copy of Freedom To Love For ALL: Homosexuality Is Not Un-African!

BookCoverImage new vistaAbout the book

Sexuality rights remain a controversial issue in many parts of Africa; it is not just a controversial issue but also a taboo subject. Many countries in Africa still criminalize homosexuality. Sodomy laws remain part of the criminal laws thereby making it legally possible to persecute sexual minorities. For example Zimbabwe, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria, Tanzania and Ghana all have laws under which homosexuality can be prosecuted. In South Africa, where the constitution recognizes same-sex relationships, gays and lesbians are often attacked, molested and persecuted for their sexual orientation. Many African societies do not provide enabling environments to discuss sexual orientation issues. Homosexuality has been condemned by many African leaders as Immoral, Un-African and a ‘White man’s disease’. 

In Nigeria, lawmakers are resurrecting a version of a widely condemned anti-homosexuality bill. [Read more…]

The many faces of Jesus

There is this picture of Jesus that hangs crudely on the bedroom wall of ‘my dear one’.  Inscribed on the picture is the title ‘Mighty Jesus’, with the messageSDC16629:

With God All Things Are possible- Mark 10:27

Avec Dieu Tout est Possible- Mark 10:27

Save Me from the hand of the Wicked Oh Lord – Psalm 140:4

Libere Moi Des Mains Des Mechants Oh, Seigner- Psalm 140:4

The picture is strategically placed in a position that enables it stare right down at the bed and its occupants. Now, if I was to do anything naughty on that bed, I might feel queasy that Jesus is watching or I might just take pleasure in having an audience.

Anyway, I can’t escape this picture of Jesus glaring at me disapprovingly. Its glass frame was cracked and there was this time when i closed the bedroom door, a chunk of broken glass from the cracked frame almost hit me. There and then, I decided it won’t be funny if my epitaph reads:

Here lays an atheist, eternally knocked down by a flying Jesus frame; a dead proof that Jesus is real!  

I dumped the picture in the dustbin but ‘my dear one’ was aghast! I explained to her that  it was to avoid death by a flying piece of glass, not a diss on her faith.  She removed the glass hazard and put the now glassless Jesus frame back in its place of pride, to stare unencumbered at us mere mortals on the bed. [Read more…]

Respect my Atheism; do not send me birthday greetings in the name of your skydaddy!

297011_2003474770728_1359360475_31894145_1960385590_n I just completed another full year circle, Facebook as usual, notified my FB friends, not a bad thing , but on my facebook page, there is a very bold info that states that I AM AN ATHEIST, btw, if you are on my Facebook page as a friend or subscriber and you do not know that I am PROUDLY BISEXUAL, PROUDLY FEMINIST AND PROUDLY ATHEIST, wtf are you doing on my page?

Anyway, why do people feel the need to send me birthday greetings and prayers in the name of their God, even when they know I do not share their belief in a Sky daddy? This is simply rude!

Now, imagine you are a religious person, let’s say a Christian, and  you have it on your facebook info and other social networks that you are a Christian and you also regularly make posts on your wall about how Jesus is your only Lord and Saviour,  how every other god is fake because your scriptures says all other ‘Gods’ are  deaf, dumb , blind and you should not worship these carved idol images, then your birthday comes up,  and some ‘well meaning’ friends posts the message below on your  facebook wall:

“Happy birthday dear friend, May Sango be your strength, Ogun will protect you and your family,  Oya shall bless you, Osun will nurture your children, enjoy your special day in the name of Amadioha.”308955_301626776519192_100000156154826_1493660_1120255275_n

Would you feel angry and/or disrespected? Would you just smile and say thanks or would you scream “Hey, do not bring your idolatry onto my page and certainly not into my life, fuck off idol worshiper!”

Well, that is exactly what I actually would love to say to those who, knowing that I am an atheist, still insist on sending me birthday prayers in the name of Jesus, Allah, Mohammed or whatever God(s) and prophets they worship. However, I didn’t say fuck off but said “Thanks” and decided to write this blog post, with the hope that this won’t happen again! [Read more…]

My Home is in Heaven? WTF!

I have been having a writing inertia lately due to so much and so little going on in my life. I am c486504_10151925203660117_1558262998_naught up in the hustle and bustle of life and a heavily loaded brain that can’t discharge much right now because it is stuck somewhere in between too much and too little.  It seems all I needed to kick me out of this inertia is to be eerily woken up by an old Christian tune.

I hate early mornings. I am not an early morning person and I do not like it when I am jarringly woken up in the morning by phone calls, chit chats and definitely not by a dreadful Christian song! Unfortunately, as I am fast learning, this is one luxury you give up when you share a bedroom!

I was woken up today by ‘my dear one’ singing this very old tune from the past

Nigeria la gbe bi mi (I was born in Nigeria) [Read more…]

Pope won’t judge gays who share something in common with him: The Lord and Expensive Fabrics!

557878_702713299754730_334537535_nWell, the man in the stylish cape, silly hat and all that expensive fabrics says he won’t judge gays. How so cute!

Pope Francis magnanimously announced that:

If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?

This news has been heartily welcomed in the LGBT community. Many now flash the statement like a sort of ‘divine’ approval of their sexual orientation and armor in their LGBT Equal Rights campaign.  Even I might just flash the quote at the next catholic who  rants about how gays, bisexuals and Trans are all going to hell, but isn’t that really the position of their Pope? [Read more…]

The Christian Association of Nigeria vows to chase out gay diplomats but Archbishop Desmond Tutu won’t worship a homophobic God.

The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) is once again making a national fool of itself and its members. Listening to the rants of its spokesperson wants to make me puke.  Really, how deluded are those religious nincompoops?

The latest hullabaloo occurred when the Nigerian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Mr.  Olugbenga Ashiru was reported to have said:

Nigeria is not against any country for legalising  gay marriage, but in our country, given our customs and traditions, as well as religious beliefs, marriage as ordained  by God is between a man and a woman.

“But if we have diplomats with same sex spouses posted to Nigeria, we have no choice but to accredit them accordingly because they come from countries where such law is in place

However, the spokesman of Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) in the 19 northern states and the FCT, Mr. Sunday Omr-oibe-sundayibe described the position of the minister as hypocritical and unacceptable. Mr Oibe, in a statement in Kaduna noted that both Christians and Muslims in Nigerians have all agreed that gay marriage is against their religious and cultural beliefs. Maintaining any nation that sends a gay diplomat to Nigeria is violating the laws of the land and it should be resisted.

He stated:

“We want to make it abundantly clear, be it America or Britain or any country that sends a gay diplomat to Nigeria; we will mobilise to chase him out of the country.

Really, you will chase diplomats out of Nigeria because of the gender of their adult partner?392527_440135569333535_236565153023912_1763288_63201606_n [Read more…]

Absurdities and Atrocities: #BabyOctopusNotHalfhumanHalfFish!

Wonders they say, shall never end. A Nigerian fish seller who lives in Ibadan, Nigeria, saw her fish evolve into half human half fish! The latest story goes thus:

 Strange Fish With Human Parts Causes Stir in Ibadan.

Hundreds of residents of Ibadan, Tuesday, rushed out to catch a glimpse of a strange fish which was said to have human parts at Asaka compound area of the city. The incident happened at Ile Akindele when a fish seller noticed the strange creature after removing the wrap of a frozen fish.

She said:

Before getting the fish out of the ice-pack, we needed to use knife to remove them and use water to de-freeze. I was shocked to see the frozen fish developed into a living being in the water, the description of which showed half human and half fish. I quickly called my father and some Alfas to see the strange fish”.

She screamed so loud the entire neighborhood rushed to see what the calamity was. Her father r15988_10201197211164216_1959934178_nan in, only stopping to pick his Quran to ward off whatever demons were chasing his daughter. Well, the daughter ran to her Imam for protection from the half fish half human. The tabloids and various Naija blogs revel in the story; they splashed this absurd picture of a half fish half human on their front pages. Never mind that the human half of the fish looks like the legs of a skinny white woman who probably was modeling on a beach for Victoria secrets. And well, the half fish part was an angry looking fish with sharp teeth. [Read more…]

Senator Pedophile Sani Yerima, Bishop David Oyedepo and guilty Nigerians, She is a: #ChildNotBride, #ChildNotWitch, #ChildNotHouseGirl!

Nigerians have suddenly woken up to the ills of child abuse because of an obscure part of the constitution. While we are all getting self righteous and indignant about children’s rights, let us also look at ways we are guilty of perpetrating child abuse. After all Child abuse comes in different colours, shapes  and sizes.

Religion and child abuse: 

Rape is never funny and pedophilia is nothing to joke about. It sure baffles me how people who condemn rape, who would normally freak out at the thought of a 54 year old man raping a 9 year old girl, could still praise and worship a pedophile prophet who did exactly that!

It seems being a catholic priest or an Islam prophet is a shield from being scorned at as a rapist and pedophile. And now, you can add being a Nigerian Senator or diligent follower of the Islamic faith to the list.  Why the double standard?  Even when dead, pedophiles graves should be spit on not worshiped in holy pilgrimages! [Read more…]