With God All Things Are possible- Mark 10:27
Avec Dieu Tout est Possible- Mark 10:27
Save Me from the hand of the Wicked Oh Lord – Psalm 140:4
Libere Moi Des Mains Des Mechants Oh, Seigner- Psalm 140:4
The picture is strategically placed in a position that enables it stare right down at the bed and its occupants. Now, if I was to do anything naughty on that bed, I might feel queasy that Jesus is watching or I might just take pleasure in having an audience.
Anyway, I can’t escape this picture of Jesus glaring at me disapprovingly. Its glass frame was cracked and there was this time when i closed the bedroom door, a chunk of broken glass from the cracked frame almost hit me. There and then, I decided it won’t be funny if my epitaph reads:
Here lays an atheist, eternally knocked down by a flying Jesus frame; a dead proof that Jesus is real!
I dumped the picture in the dustbin but ‘my dear one’ was aghast! I explained to her that it was to avoid death by a flying piece of glass, not a diss on her faith. She removed the glass hazard and put the now glassless Jesus frame back in its place of pride, to stare unencumbered at us mere mortals on the bed.
I asked ‘my dear one’ why she did not get rid of the picture considering that it has been broken for quite some time now. She explained that she actually requested someone to buy the picture from Nigeria and the glass got broken in transit. Curious, I asked her why she had to go through the trouble of buying a framed picture of Jesus from Lagos, Nigeria and have it transported to her in London, UK when she could easily buy as many pictures of Jesus as she could here in London. She explained that the pictures of Jesus in Nigeria are better than the pictures of Jesus in London.
I was like, really, what is the difference? Is it not the same Jesus and wait a minute, didn’t t the British introduce Jesus to you, now you are claiming your picture of Jesus is better than theirs?
Well, she was adamant that there is something about the pictures of Jesus made in Nigeria that is better than the pictures of Jesus made in Britain.
Hmm…methinks, it has to do with the words inscribed in these Naija Jesus pictures. BTW, she also said that pictures of Jesus are cheaper in Lagos than in UK. That explains a lot!
Anyway, not long after this episode, I went to a Nigerian eatery joint in London to eat Amala and ewedu with my Nigerian, Christian, Anglican friend. I casually asked him if Jesus has different looks, if he feels that made in Nigeria pictures of Jesus are better than those made in Britain and what he feels about a black Jesus. He stated firmly that his own Jesus is not black.
Almost choking on my morsel, I asked how he could be so sure. He explained that if Jesus was black, he would have an evil heart. He claimed his own Jesus is white and has a heart as pure as snow.
Wow, talk about skin colour hang-ups!
I asked if there is an Asian Jesus or Americana Jesus. He answered that his Jesus is white and if Jesus has a nationality, it would be British. Hmm…Ok.
My friend also kept harping on about how Anglican Jesus is better than Pentecostal Jesus and the Catholic Jesus, so I asked if there are different versions of Jesus. I mean does the Anglican have its own Jesus different from the Catholic Jesus and Protestant Jesus? Well, according to my Nigerian, Christian, Anglican friend, Yes.
Now I am confused, it isn’t just the Skin colour or nationality of Jesus that differs but also his denomination.
Jeez, I am sure its holy noodleness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, brings no such confusion!
Actually, I like the many faces of Jesus and I do find it difficult choosing which one I like best. I think I will go with ‘Animie Eyes Jesus’, so sexy! What about you?