We Are Bisexualised: Wherein I was wrong.

Kanika Ameerah left what I feel is a really important comment on last week’s post Boundaries, thresholds and love: why it’s time to take back ‘bi’Here’s what she had to say:

I personally don’t identify as bisexual, and find the word problematic not because of the gender binary issue, but because I find it too simplistic to encompass the various types of orientations, identities and experiences in one neat term.

There are some people who are biromantic, and can love either gender, while others are more fluid in orientation. Then there are many people who strongly prefer one gender for relationships, while their attraction to the other is more physical. I believe that the aforementioned scenarios are all completely different orientations, and should be seen as such.

I responded in comments, but I want to bring it up here because it’s related to an incredibly important point that I hadn’t thought of until I read it. I think, you see, that I was wrong. [Read more...]

Ask A Bisexual podcast is up!

If you didn’t catch it earlier, here’s the podcast of myself and two other members of Bi+ Ireland talking bisexuality with the absolutely lovely people at PrideTime on NearFM. And answering forever the question of what I actually sound like in real life ;)

I’m so damn proud of what we’re doing with this group.

#BiVisibility – A panel discussion on bisexuality by Pride Time @ Nearfm on Mixcloud

Ask A Bisexual: Coming to a radio near (er, probably far from) you!

Got a burning question about bisexuality? Or just want to hear some devastatingly sexy Irish accents saying incredibly clever things? Myself and two other Irish bi+ activists, Janet Ní Shuilleabháin and Danny Pio Murphy, will be on Dublin’s NearFM later today- 5.30pm GMT- talking all things bi+.

If you’ve a question you’d like us to answer or if you just want to send gloriously effusive fanmail*, pop Near FM a tweet or an FB message. And if you’re somehow too far from Dublin to get NearFM on your radio, here’s the livestream.


*you should probably leave the fanmail until after we’ve started talking, though.

Humans, not vessels: Free, safe, legal abortion. In Ireland. Now.

It’s only two hours until Ireland’s third annual March for Choice. Which means, by the way, that if you’re local and you somehow haven’t heard of it until now, I strongly recommend getting your walking boots on, like, now.

Speak with your Feet at the March for Choice. 2pm Saturday 27th September at the Garden of Remembrance, Parnell Square, Dublin 1

I’ve been finding it incredibly difficult to find words to talk about Ireland an abortion recently. Not something that’s been a problem in the past, but sometimes things get too overwhelmingly godawful to look at, you know? There’s a level of anger, sadness and helplessness in the face of overwhelming inertia that sometimes gets too hard to bear.

Luckily, the ever-eloquent Danielle has put things far more clearly and succinctly than I can manage right now.

When our rights are denied in our own country, we depend on our neighbours.

[Read more...]

Boundaries, thresholds and love: why it’s time to take back ‘bi’

In what we call the bi+ or nonmonosexual communities, we have a problem with words. We have so many words to describe ourselves, not one of which keeps us all happy. We in-fight, we argue, and when we do, the word that takes the worst of the damage? Is ‘bisexual’.

I want to argue for ‘bisexual’. I want to say that bisexuality is nothing to do with men and women, nothing to do with binary gender or any of the accusations levelled against it. I want to say that it is, in fact, the single word that best describes the particularities of our experiences, and that has the potential to be incredibly politically powerful if we allow it to be. I want to argue that when we talk about nonmonosexuality, the most important thing isn’t the precise genders or gender presentations of the people we fancy. While that is really interesting to us all on personal levels, when it comes to representation and activism, it shouldn’t be our main focus. Instead, our focus should be on the ways in which society- including us, because we are part of society- behaves towards those of us who are attracted to and/or have (had) relationships with people of more than one gender.

This isn’t about relationships. It’s not about the people who you or I do or don’t fancy. It’s not about the precise nature of any of our own sexual/romantic orientations. It’s not about who you or I love, or about what that love feels like- although those are immensely valuable conversations to have within our communities, and I hope we keep having them for a long, long time.

This is about political reasons to use, or not to use, particular words. [Read more...]

Bi+ Visibility Matters.

Why Bi+ Visibility Matters, from the Bi+ Ireland Network. ‘Nuff said (aside from: B+I is my baby, g’wan over to FB and give it some love? And if you’re bi+ and connected to Ireland, shure you might as well send us a PM over there and join our group. We’re great craic, like.)

[Bi+ Visibility matters to me because we all spend too much time feeling like the only one in the room.]

[Read more...]


Giant oooops. I wrote this one last week but seem to not quite yet have the hang of impressive complexities like “actually hitting post when I’m writing a thing on my ipad and did I mention I got an ipad ohmygawwwd it is so pretty. Anyway, here it is now- barely even out of date ’cause I’m still working a ton of hours at the mo.

Despite having a drafts folder the size of Scrooge McDuck’s money vault, this week (er, last week – updatedMe) is going to be pretty sparse on the blogging front. One of the things about how I pay the bills- I teach English as an additional language in a private school- is that it’s incredibly seasonal. Either there’s no work at all, or we have a shedload of groups and we’re all pulling double shifts. This week is the latter, so instead of being cosied up with my laptop, I’ll be keeping bunches of teenagers entertained and contained while convincing them that yes, I do understand how to swear in four different languages (an essential junior TEFL teacher survival skill) and occasionally even throwing an English word or two in their direction. And at the end of that, it’s time to bundle into a car with several of my stinkiest and most beloved friends to travel halfway across the country to strap on some skates and knock the shite out of each other.

I’ll never forget my first days teaching- well, the first that stuck anyhow (there was a previous attempt but that’s a story that gets told over a bottle or three of wine). I was fairly confident that I’d be able to handle things- after all, I’d been tutoring, facilitating workshops and even giving the occasional speech for years. And my first class went fine- sure, the teenagers were less inclined to talk than what I was used to, but no bother- I was well able to get the ice broken and get them participating.

And then I walked into my second class. [Read more...]

Nothing Important: a surprisingly relevant comic about bisexuality.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that my housemate makes amazetastic comics. Consider it mentioned, and check out her latest- one which feels far too poignant to me than six little panels ever have a right to.

She has tons more over on her comics page. Go tell her she’s great or something, like?

Home schooling: who has rights, again?

For the first time in my experience, Ireland recently seems to have gotten involved in a bit of a discussion about, of all things, homeschooling. In short- Monica O’Connor, an Irish woman with six kids, ended up in prison after failing to pay a fine for not applying to register to homeschool her kids.

You’ll note that she wasn’t imprisoned for homeschooling her kids- that’s perfectly legal here, if extremely unusual. However, parents who want to homeschool have to apply to register to do so, and the application involves an inspection to ensure that the kids are receiving a decent education.

Ms O’Connor had no problem going through the application process for her foster kids, but when it came to her own kids it was a different story. Here’s what she has to say: [Read more...]