Muslim women are not allowed to fart

Muslim women are not allowed to fart in Indonesia.

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An Islamic city council in the Indonesian province of Aceh, which follows Sharia, has banned female citizens from passing gas.

Sayyid Yahia, mayor of the city, told media that a ban was needed, as farting does not go well with the Islamic values of modesty. “Muslim women are not allowed to fart with sound, it’s against Islamic teachings,” he said. Meanwhile, the Indonesian Feminists Association told local media they will attempt to block the smelly law as they deem it discriminatory.

Mayor Sayyid Yahia said the law aims to save people’s morals and behaviors. “When you see woman fart loud, she appears like a man. But if she sit sideways and pass it quietly, she looks like a woman,” Sayyid said.

Although the proposed law does not ban “quiet fart,” passing gas with sound is actually not uncommon in Southeast Asia, particularly for women consuming potatoes and peas. Obviously, women maintain that they feel healthier, farting loud. Fathima Khan, a medical doctor at the Al Banni Islamic Hospital in Aceh’s capital is critical of the proposed law: “There is no need to question this practice, let alone regulate it, because people do it for their health and safety,” she said.

The mayor declined to give The Wadiyan details of what the punishment would be for violators. While another member at the City council, who wished not to be named, said if convicted by the sharia court, the offender could receive 20 lashes for small farts and up to 3 months prison time for larger ones.

I got this news today and I thought it was true. It did not come to mind that it could be a satire or a joke. To tell the truth, religion and it’s anti-women laws are nothing but a bunch of cheap jokes. Women’s burqa is a joke. Banning on female passengers to straddle motorbikes behind male drivers is a joke. Banning women from wearing trousers, whipping women for wearing trousers, banning women from driving, asking female workers to “breastfeed” their male co-workers in order to work together, tracking women’s cross-border movements etc. —all are dirty fucking jokes! These jokes are now realities for women. So when a real joke pop-ups, not everyone can realize it is a joke. I took fart joke seriously. If religion can enter women’s vaginas, it can enter their assholes too. It is so unbelievable that the fart joke is just a joke!