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The revolution begins tomorrow

Who knew that moocher rancher Cliven Bundy would be the face of the next American revolution? Emboldened by their victory over the Bureau of Land Management where he and his supporters drove away the jack-booted thugs of the government in order to return to their cows their god-given right to eat where they damn well please, they have now set their sights even higher.

They are now planning to challenge the BLM’s banning of the use of all-terrain vehicles in part of Utah because why should only cows have the right to roam freely?

A band of angry citizens plans to ride all-terrain vehicles onto closed-off, federally managed public land Saturday in protest against the federal Bureau of Land Management, which many say has unfairly closed off a prized area, cheating residents of outdoor recreation.

The ride, organized by San Juan County Commissioner Phil Lyman, is a gambit to assert county sovereignty over Recapture Canyon, known for its archaeological ruins, that BLM officials say has been jeopardized from overuse. The canyon was closed to motor vehicles in 2007, the agency said, after two men forged an illegal seven-mile trail. Hikers and those on horseback are still allowed there.

It is clear that these people are itching for a shooting war to occur and want to provoke the BLM and the government into firing the first shot so that they can claim victimhood.

But the main event will be on Friday when they expect 10 to 30 million people to descend on Washington DC for something called Operation American Spring where by sheer force of numbers they will drive that usurper Barack Obama and his cronies from office and install true patriots as leaders.

This group is thinking big.

“We are calling for the removal of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi, and Eric Holder as a start toward constitutional restoration,” said retired Army Col. Harry Riley, leader of the Operation American Spring protest group. “They have all abandoned the US Constitution, are unworthy to be retained in a position that calls for servant status.”

Operation American Spring aims to pressure those lawmakers who remain – or are replaced by officials of their own choosing – “to sponsor and pass very Constitutionally crafted State legislation to dissolve the size, powers, scope and spending of the U.S. Government by 2/3rds.”

Organizers also anticipate “incremental nullification” by state legislatures of “all withholding taxes, employment taxes, employer taxes, and income taxes.”

You can read the manifesto of the group here which takes a somewhat big picture approach to planning this uprising, saying that “There is not much time and the only planning necessary is to select a starting date, which we have done, and then show up in Washington, D.C. on that date, and plan to stay for the duration.”

Key details are lacking for such a mass uprising such as when and where will they meet? DC is a big town after all. Is it near a convenient subway stop? Will there be portable toilets? Should we bring sunscreen and maybe a picnic lunch? The 1960s Black Power slogan “The revolution will not be televised” is likely to be true of this one.

I also notice that they issue their call to all patriots including ‘black, white, red, yellow, brown’. What do you mean by red and yellow people, Kemo Sabe?

Comments

  1. says

    10 to 30 million people to descend on Washington DC

    That would actually be nice. If I thought a new constitution and a direct democracy would result from it, I’d even support the effort. But these guys are reactionary clowns. My prediction is that less than a thousand will show up.

  2. Matt G says

    Ten to thirty million?? Yeah, right! I’ll be surprised if they get more than one million….

  3. Pierce R. Butler says

    Let’s start a rumor their group really calls itself “Occupy American Something” – the feds will have ‘em all gassed, tasered, and detained by sundown.

  4. Matt G says

    @captainahags- I’ll be surprised if they can fill a Greyhound bus. This bidding war reminds me of a book I had as a kids called “Fibs, Tall Tales, and Other Lies” (or something to that effect). One of the stories was about competing high dive acts in a circus, in which the heights got greater while the water depth got shallower. The final dive was into a wet sponge, and the diver was injured because his competitor had wrung it out….

  5. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    This group is thinking big.

    I’m not so sure the word “thinking” really applies here!

    Operation American spring? Well, that was an imaginative choice of naming – not! Also nota great precedent to look towards. The Arab spring hasn’t really delivered very much has it? Well, maybe in Tunisia and Gaddafi is gone from Libya although that’s about all that’s positive from there but the rest of the Arab spring nations seem decidedly wintery and grim to me.

  6. lorn says

    Am I right in assuming that those “10 to 30 million people” will be bringing their guns with them? Somebody better talk to the local cops and warn them that the idiots are completely oblivious to the well established standard that pointing a gun at a law enforcement officer means the LEO is legally allowed to shoot you. The law has been very accommodating and restrained dealing with the idiots. They have risked their lives giving them the benefit of the doubt. Move the yahoos into an urban setting where quicker reflexes keep you alive and these deluded self-proclaimed patriots may get more than they bargained for.

  7. leni says

    A band of angry citizens plans to ride all-terrain vehicles onto closed-off, federally managed public land

    Oh no. Angry d-bags with ATVs. Quick, everyone run and pretend it isn't like every other day.

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