You have got to hand it to the Satanists, they are quick on the ball. They came up promptly with their own statue to be placed on the grounds of the Oklahoma state legislature and now, following Monday’s US Supreme Court ruling allowing ceremonial opening prayers at government meetings, Chaz Stevens has written to the city of Deerfield Beach saying that he wants to offer up an prayer at their meetings
Stevens has told them that he is a Satanist but this was not always the case. Last December he petitioned successfully to have a Festivus pole installed in the rotunda of the Florida State Capitol because at that time his religion was Pabstfestidianism of which he said, “It’s legitimate — it’s based in as much reality as the Catholics. But unlike Catholic priests, we don’t rape little boys.” There is no word whether this year the rival sects of Coorism and Heinekenism will want their own poles as well because you can’t very well expect hem to worship the god Pabst. That would be the greatest heresy.
Asked about his reasons for converting to his new religion, he said “Satan is a cool dude. Think of all the people he’s in charge of. Do you want to be stuck listening to harp music in the afterlife? Hell no. I want to drink beer and hang with hookers.”
That sounds like a pretty good reason. Here is the full text of his letter:
Dear City of Deerfield Beach;
With the recent US Supreme Court ruling allowing “prayer before Commission meetings” and seeking the rights granted to others, I hereby am requesting I be allowed to open a Commission meeting praying for my God, my divine spirit, my Dude in Charge.
Be advised, I am a Satanist.
Let me know when this is good for you.
Chaz Stevens, Calling in from Ring 6 of Dante’s Inferno
This should be fun.