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Jul 05 2013

Ex-Gays to Celebrate Ex-Gay Pride Month (No, this is not one of my satires)

Bet you didn’t know that this July is the first annual “Ex-Gay Pride Month.” According to Christopher Doyle, co-founder of Voice of the Voiceless, this month of celebrating not being gay anymore will be capped off by a bunch of now straight gay people “convening on Washington, DC, on July 31 to send a clear message to the members of Congress that ex-gays are alive; we do exist.”

Doyle explains why an Ex-Gay Pride Month is so desperately needed:

“We are tired of the gay activist lobby discriminating [against] us, marginalizing us and taking away our rights, and we’re now fighting back, and we’re demanding that if gays are going to get full diversity and equality in America, we also demand that ex-gay voices be heard as well.”

What’s not clear is exactly what rights these ex-gays need to fight for. Are there some rights that they don’t have living as straight people? Hopefully, Michele Bachmann, who will be a featured speaker at the event, will be able to clear this up, what with being married to Marcus and all.

 

18 comments

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  1. 1
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    Following the link reveals that the people gathering here continue to have “Unwanted same-sex attractions,” which tends to imply that they haven’t actually changed the way they say they have. That said, I suspect that what they want is a guarantee that ex-gay camps will still be legal and count as therapy.

  2. 2
    thascius

    “What’s not clear is exactly what rights these ex-gays need to fight for.” Isn’t it obvious? It’s so hard to be ex-gay (as opposed to gay) so if we stop discriminating against homosexuals and remove the social stigma against homosexuality they’ll lose their motivation to change and just be gay. And maybe actually be happy being gay, and that would be the greatest tragedy of all.
    (Yeah, it sounds nuts but that’s actually the way they think. Much much worse to be an open homosexual and in a relationship with a man than married to a woman and having sex with men on the sly. And for whatever reason they tend to focus on gay men far more than lesbians.)

  3. 3
    jand

    @2

    I have a strong suspicion (re: focus con gay men) that somehow the mere existence of gay men jeopardizes male power, whereas lesbians, in a way (a twisted way) according to the same would be a confirmation of said male power, as in “imitation is a form of flattery”. I’m having trouble formulating this. Maybe it’s clear already… please feel free to improve…

  4. 4
    Josef Mulroney

    will August be ex-ex-gay pride month???

  5. 5
    dan4

    That last sentence in the post was a cheap shot.

  6. 6
    Zeno

    I think the “ex-gay” individuals try to take comfort in their new sort-of straight lifestyles despite the continuing same-sex attraction by making a distinction between the clinical “homosexual” and the affirming “gay.” They interpret “gay” to indicate an embrace of the “gay lifestyle” and the “gay agenda.” Since they are religiously motivated to reject their same-sex attraction, they can claim they aren’t “gay” as such. It’s a rather pathetic mind game.

  7. 7
    thascius

    @3 For some that might explain it. But I’ve also heard anti-gay folks say that male sexuality is dangerous and needs to be “controlled” by a woman, or that a man can only “grow up” if he’s in a relationship with a woman, or that a man can’t be “complete” unless he’s with a woman. The most prominent anti-gay activists generally tend to be pretty sexist. But unless you’re confusing gay men and trans women (which some anti-gay activists do seem to see as one and the same) it’s hard to see how a man who has no particular need for women is a threat to patriarchy.

  8. 8
    thebookofdave

    @dan4

    I don’t think Chris was suggesting that Marcus might be a closeted homosexual. Just referring to his counseling practice that
    specializes
    in gay reversion therapy.

  9. 9
    godlesspanther

    I predict that the very low turn-out, the lack of credible speakers, and the inability to communicate any coherent ideas is going to make the ex-gay “convening on Washington” more of an embarrassment than a political statement.

    So sad.

    LOL

  10. 10
    grumpyoldfart

    We are tired of the gay activist lobby discriminating [against] us, marginalizing us and taking away our rights

    Come on. They don’t really believe that. They are just trying it on for size; if it works they’ll use it, but if it flops they’ll forget about it.

  11. 11
    blorf

    I would love to see a group if theatrical homosexuals crash the march insisting that they thought it was in support of gay exes.
    I know, likely dangerous, but it would be fun to make them explain repeatedly what their actual goal is.

  12. 12
    blorf

    I would also love to see the if in #11 changed to of

  13. 13
    qwerty

    Since Exodus folder, Focus on the Family needs some ex-gay group to support. The reasons are simple: if gays can change, then it fits their belief that sexual orientation can change. If sexual orientation can change, the the glbt community doesn’t need “gay rights” or as they put it “special rights.”

    It is funny that they are holding their “big” event on July 31st which is a Wednesday. I suppose they can’t hold it on a weekend as everyone will be away during the summer or, on Sunday, in church trying to pray the gay away so they’ll feel okay!!!

    But, who knew you could have pride in your self-loathing which, after all, is what being ex-gay is all about.

  14. 14
    qwerty

    Oops, folder should be folded. I have blorf’s fat fingers.

  15. 15
  16. 16
    steffp

    @ Alida Vismara

    Thanks for all that reading matter. Actually your links contained only four scientific studies, not all of them supporting the “change side”. The rest were 2 opinion pieces – again, not always supportive of your position, and two articles: one distorts a study, the other appears to be on pornography…
    I’ll comment in the order of the links.

    (1) An article by the Whiteheads, Christian change-activists, which draws far-reaching conclusions from a study by Savin-William and Ream(2007). The original paper shows that only part of those who feel same-sex-attraction at age 16 will establish a homosexual identity. Well, yes, we know this. It says nothing about what causes the sexual identity of those who do not change.

    (2) A study that examines women’s responses to online sexual fluidity questionnaire items. “Younger women show greater sexual fluidity in the past 5 years due to their age; but also greater fluidity in their youth due to cohort differences in acceptance of homosexuality. Societal acceptance influences the willingness to openly self-identify as lesbian. Standard minority behavior.

    (3) Is an interesting article about male fluidity. “More teenagers and young adults are avoiding such labels as ‘gay,’ ‘lesbian’ or ‘bisexual’ altogether or are inventing new descriptions, such as ‘mostly straight.’” This does not further “change activism”.

    (4) Is a study on the influence of stigma on self-reported sexual orientation: “we found that cues of support for same-sex sexuality lead to self-perceived sexual orientation containing more same-sex sexuality than did cues of stigma against same-sex sexuality.” Yep. Stigmatization is a mighty tool of repression.

    (5) Is a study on identity-inconsistent sexual experiences. If anything, then it shows that fluidity is wider spread than one might think.

    (6) Is a study that shows that there appears to be no correlation between transsexualism and genetic mutations. Not quite to the point…

    (7) Comment by Dr.Berger to the House of Commons Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights, regarding the”bathroom bill”. A singular opinion piece, not a study. Did not convince the House of Commons, by the way. How could it, as Dr. Berger is on the record as advising to send effeminate boys to school in girls’ clothes, expecting their classmates to “educate” them by shaming and stigmatization. Revolting.

    (8) The snippet Dr.Judith A.Reisman cites from Dr. Doidge’s book is about pornography and the plasticity of the brain, and says nothing about homosexuality. Au contraire, see here : Dr. Doidge is frequently misquoted. Plasticity is the exact opposite to Christian “one size fits all” thinking.
    .
    Now, what did you expect as the result of all those links?
    We know that stigmatization and the absence of societal acceptance drives behavioral minorities into the closet. We find that living in a closet is not an acceptable life. So, if there are no rational reasons for stigma and terror, no need to use it. One might even say, stigmatization is a evil tool, and should not be used at all.

    Lastly, the suicide argument… you don’t have any shame, do you? First you drive kids into suicide by telling them that “god did not make them right”, that they’ll burn in hell, and then you argue that homosexuality leads to suicide.
    Here’s the soap, now wash out your mouth…

  17. 17
    Caroline McQuire

    What rights do they want? That’s simple. The right to be acknowledged. To have people say “Yes, you can be gay and have your sexual desires change for some reason and still be mentally stable.” or “Yes you can choose celibacy and that is a valid choice for a gay person just like it is for a straight person.” How about just that they EXIST. Instead of “Well, they obviously were straight and didn’t know” or “they were experimenting but not really gay” or “they were always bisexual” or the million other judgements that people throw out there, how about “sexual fluidity is present in males and females, there is the possibility of change for some of them, and they have the right to change, and the right to not be belittled, ignored, or put down because they don’t fit the ‘born that way’ idiom.”

    I challenge you to go to a Pride parade with an Ex-gay banner. Don’t say anything Christian, or that gay is wrong, or anything like that, just that you changed for some reason and you’re proud of who you are. If you don’t get aggressive words at the very least I’d be surprised. An ex-gay is someone who may have had their sexual desires change (whether due to fluidity or just finding the right person, like the penguin couple roy&silo where one of them found a female and it clicked, not unnatural, very normal), or someone who has chosen for whatever reason not to have sex (the same as the many people who choose not to have sex unless married or for their god or whatever.)

    While many of them want to have others acknowledge that change can happen and is possible for some, they don’t pretend change can happen for everyone. However there are many closed-minded individuals who say that change never happens, and that allowing someone to explore whether they could have change or not is wrong. THAT’S the rights they want. To allow for therapy for those who want it, and to have people recognize that they exist.

  18. 18
    steffp

    @ Caroline McQuire

    (1) Having a right like free expression of thoughts does not mean anyone has to accept those thoughts as true. Whatever someone says in a free society is subject to criticism from opponents. It’s the quality of the argument that counts, how far it is anchored in reality. “Gay conversion” is a tiny fringe phenomenon, and is undertaken for a variety of personal reasons. It is not an alternative for the millions of gay, lesbian, and transsexual people in the US alone, who do not develop a motivation to interfere with their sexuality. And they don’t have to force themselves to undergo all kinds of treatments only because a few Abrahamic cults find homosexuality is against Yahweh’s will. Those who do – it’s their personal decision. But they’re not models for everyone.
    .
    (2) Of course celibacy (be it gay or straight) is a valid life choice. As is full-body-tattooing, engaging in consensual S/M, or wearing a hair shirt. Absolutely legit, but somehow weird. For the repercussions ask a Catholic priest, an altar-boy, or Mrs. Palin’s daughter. Again, not a model for everyone, more of a sexual variant.
    .
    (3) I challenge you to go to a Pride parade with an Ex-gay banner.
    Why on earth should someone do that? Have your own parade. It’s a provocation, like a group of apostates interfering with a Corpus Christi procession. Rising emotions and conflict is the only result, not meaningful discussion. Westboro Baptist Church tactics.
    .
    (4) they don’t pretend change can happen for everyone
    Well, that’s simply not true. The anti-gay propaganda presumes that every gay person can be made straight, or at least celibate. It does not propagate one more legitimate “lifestyle”, it proselytizes the one and only final solution.

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