It seems that one Air Force chaplain thinks that agnostics, atheists, deists, and freethinkers have celebrated a secret holiday since 2004 — the holiday of “Krisma.” Seriously. Here’s what Lt. Col. Tom Smith, chaplain for the 188th Fighter Wing of the Arkansas Air National Guard, wrote about this little-known holiday in an article on the 188th Fighter Wing website:
And, since 2004 there will be an increasing number of agnostics, atheists, deists, free-thinkers, etc., who’ll celebrate most of the elements of Christmas, but will focus on Kris Kringle, Rudolph, the elves, etc., as they greet each other by saying “Merry Krisma.”
WTF? I don’t remember seeing anything about Krisma in my super secret War on Christmas newsletter. Have I been missing this holiday for the last eight years?
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richardelguru
December 3, 2012 at 11:35 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hare Krisma
Hare Krisma
Hare Hare
Kris Kringle
Hare Kneecaps…
richardelguru
December 3, 2012 at 11:35 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
(or Hairy Kneecaps)
Tabby Lavalamp
December 3, 2012 at 11:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Would I be instigating a War on Krisma if I put up signs wishing people a Merry Xma?
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
December 3, 2012 at 11:58 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Our cover has been blown. Move to backup plan: Merry Qrism.
mlshatto
December 3, 2012 at 12:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually, it all started with a hyper-particular choir master who just HATED all the terminal “s” sounds in We Wish You a Merry Christmas. His group was absolutely not cutting off quickly enough to please him. He complained that they sounded like snakes; it didn’t do any good. So he chose a “designated S’er” in each voice part, and forbade everyone else from singing the final “s” on Christmas. As it so happened, all his designated S’ers were from the same family, and just before the big concert they all came down with the flu. He had finally browbeat everyone else in the choir sufficiently that no one dared sing a terminal S. So the song came out sounding like “We Wish You a Merry Christmah.” This chaplain must have attended that very concert!!
MikeMa
December 3, 2012 at 12:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
WTF? This must be in preparation for books and movies yet to come. He just wants to be in on the ground floor. Copyrights & all that.
acroyear
December 3, 2012 at 12:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The only ‘Krisma’ I’ve ever celebrated is being told “Merra Krisma” by my 4 year old cousin at my grandmother’s house 31 years ago. I figure I’ll be told that by my own daughter in a year or two as well.
hexidecima
December 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Pear pimples for hairy fishnuts!”
Oy, these Christians just keep lying and bearing false witness every chance they get.
Traveler
December 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I get it; the K stands for communist! Nice touch.
unbound
December 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wasn’t aware of this before, but finding a few site and videos that reference either Merry Krisma or Merry Krismas.
I guess a lot of us have been left out…
evilDoug
December 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
What happened back in aught four that started this? Was that the year that war was declared, or is the event a secret so super it must remain forever occult?
I suppose I could get into using “Merry Krisma.” At least it beats the heck out of the ridiculousness of actually saying “season’s greetings”, which is like meeting someone and saying the words “idle smalltalk”.
ibelieveindog
December 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
hexidecima:
Have a happy Opus whatever!
Randomfactor
December 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
They just heard it wrong. It’s “Merry Klezmer,” otherwise known as “Chanukah.”
badgersdaughter
December 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I might be naive, but I never heard of a Christian gripe against those people who refer to Thanksgiving as Turkey Day or similar. Isn’t Thanksgiving just as much a religious holiday, given that the Puritans were giving thanks to God? I brought this up once to a family member who thought I was being petty and who told me that I was free to be thankful to anyone I wanted to. Following that train of thought, I asked if it was OK for me to have a happy holiday instead of a merry Christmas. BIG mistake.
Dalillama, Schmott Guy
December 3, 2012 at 1:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Merry Krisma? Or is this the krisma possessed by Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson.
F [disappearing]
December 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And this is what is posted for content on military websites? OK!
Scr... Archivist
December 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Much of the December 25 holiday is already non-religious. Isn’t the name the last remaining holdout? (And some languages don’t even have that.)
I say we change the name, and sever the holiday’s last religious tie.
But we can do better than “Krisma”.
John Horstman
December 3, 2012 at 4:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’ve been an atheist for the nearly twenty seven years I’ve existed, and I’ve heard nothing about “Krisma”. I celebrate the solstice as an agricultural holiday, attend others’ Christmas celebrations if they want me to, and make occasional references to Saturnalia, since that really pisses the theocrats off.
sqlrob
December 3, 2012 at 5:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Personally, I don’t care, and I doubt it even matters. You don’t see Christians trying to change the name of Easter, do you?
thebookofdave
December 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Two words: Plausible Deniability.
You guys understand the true meaning of Krismas™ and Hidden Agenda. Gold stars all around!
Scr... Archivist
December 3, 2012 at 6:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
No, nor Thursday or January. But they keep emphasizing their particular god’s presence in the name “Christmas”. It’s like they think they own it or something, just because of some vestigial terminology. I’m ready to concede the name to them, but keep the rest, just to shut them up.
But then again, maybe secular fun at Christmastime, without religion at all, has already diluted the “Christ” part of the name. Is making it just another root, like “Thurs-” and “Janu-”, a better kind of victory?
WithinThisMind
December 3, 2012 at 7:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Does this mean I can’t celebrate Christmahanakwanzasolstillaneous this year?
jasmyn
December 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I celebrate Clausmas. My holiday figure head is just a fake, but way more fun!
peicurmudgeon
December 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Personally, I celebrate the Solstice. A bit of axial tilt matches my own lopsidedness perfectly. Also aleviates battles with my ex wife and other family conflicts. besides having a seasonal component to my depression, makes the Solstice a gret time to celebrate.
jaranath
December 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is too fun. It will play straight into their paranoia through audio pareidolia. Any time they come across a poorly-heard “Merry Christmas”, or someone doesn’t hit their “S” very hard, they’ll conclude they’re a closet atheist/humanist/commie/muslim.
bad Jim
December 4, 2012 at 1:45 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
In Berkeley, back in the 1970′s, there was a store called “Prism Crescents” which sold curved prisms. In December they would change the name to “Chrism Presents”, or something like that.
Anyway, Meri Kurisumasu (or メリークリスマス, if you prefer).
reinderdijkhuis
December 4, 2012 at 11:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I for one am lookimng forward to Crimbo with the family.
brundlefly
December 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Okay, on the one hand I dig that this guy is talking about non-Christians celebrating the “holidays” in a non-”War on Christmas” context. So, that’s good. He doesn’t seem to be a an entitled, hate-filled Bible thumper. Yay!
But seriously, where did “Krismas” come from?
brundlefly
December 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, Krisma. Excuse me.
grumpyoldfart
December 4, 2012 at 11:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The chaplains were probably making jokes about Krisma, and Lt. Col. Smith came in late and thought it was real. His underlings are too scared to tell him he’s wrong, and now he’s writing articles about it.
erinmcc
December 5, 2012 at 12:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
ive been an atheist for 25 years and never heard of Krisma myself. had to google it of course, and did come up with this old wiki article referencing Krismas and 2004:
http://www.tetrakatus.org/~tetrakat/oldwiki/index.php?title=Krismas
maybe the lt col just forgot the s?
or maybe i am just not cool enough to get the super secret newsletter =(
stubby
December 5, 2012 at 4:58 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great, now we have to come up with a new secret holiday. What am I supposed to do with the baby I was fattening up for Krisma? Who am I kidding, I don’t need a special occasion to enjoy a tasty toddler!
digitalatheist
December 5, 2012 at 9:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
ya sure he didn’t say “Merry Krispy-Krema” instead? I can get behind that holiday.
tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach
December 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bah. We just celebrate great^n’th uncle Isaac’s birthday as Newtonmas. At least we know he actually existed and did wondrous things.