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Jan 23 2012

Ex-Navy Chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt is Back — Claims to Have Performed Successful Lesbian Exorcism

Everyone’s favorite disgraced ex-chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt claims on The David Pakman Show to have performed 60 or 70 exorcisms, touting a 50% success rate in making his “exorcees” stop sinning.

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  1. 1
    unbound

    In other news, I have this amazing miraculous coin. When you flip it, it comes up heads a full 50% of the time!! Truly a miracle from God!!

  2. 2
    Al Stefanelli

    So, basically she scared the shit out of at least half her “patients” enough so they went back in the closet. Check…

  3. 3
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    If he’s allowed to exorcise lesbianism, why don’t we exorcise christianity?

    Oh, wait, that’s because it would be unethical, harmful, evil, and a massive violation of the principles we hold most dear.

    Remind me again which one is guided by gawd’s awesomest moralityism while the other is left floundering in the confusion that comes with having to work out good and evil for yourselves?

  4. 4
    Pinky

    Gordon Klingenschmitt, disgraced ex-chaplain, is another liar for Jesus.

    Sen. Al Franken’s bill is to make public schools safe for GLBT students or anyone mistaken for GLBT.

    Senator Franken’s reason for sponsoring the legislation is that gender, skin color and place of origin are ‘protected’ under the law, GLBT should be added to that list.

    It is a shame in this supposedly great country of ours that specific ‘protections’ must be put into law. Civilized people should consider it their duty to protect all children from bulling.

    It amazes me how this man-o-god can make up malicious lies and freely spread them around. This ex-chaplain, who was thrown out of the Navy for insubordination, tries to trash the anti-bulling bill by claiming it is a bill to allow pedophiles (which are 99% heterosexual by the way) into the schools to recruit children to homosexuality.

    Not only is it a lie, but its a poor lie; it makes no sense logically.

    Fundies want to encourage GLBT bashing. That way gay students will commit suicide and then men-o-god can jump up and say: “See! Being gay is a dangerous lifestyle!”

    To believe this nasty ass preacher, Jesus must be brimming over with hate.

  5. 5
    peterh

    @ #1:

    Another trick with that magic coin of yours: flip it enough times & somewhere along the way you’ll get 666 tails in a row! However, there may no longer be enough light to see by at that point . . . .

  6. 6
    omcdurham

    Al Franken is ‘recruiting’ homosexuals? This Klingbullsh&t guy is sooo delusional!

  7. 7
    amadan

    You really must make a point of referring to this gentleman as “Rev. Klingenschmitt, the Lesbian Exorcist” from now on. It has a certain je ne sais quoi, does it not?

    Hmmmmmmm . . . “Lesbian Exorcist” – I’m sure that that title must feature somewhere in the archives of Pornlandia!

  8. 8
    Pinky

    Amadan how is this for a title?

    Rev. Klingenschmitt, the Lesbian Exorcist and the Sisters of Lesbos.

    (I’m picturing a Tarzan motif.)

    or

    Sappho and the evil Rev. Klingenschmitt, the Lesbian Exorcist

  9. 9
    billdaniels

    Why is there all the soft filtering on Klingenschmitt? Surely he can’t be that scary-looking. If anyone did an exorcism on him to rid him of his bat-shit stupidity, there would be nothing left of him.

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