OK … while I’m trying to resolve the video issue so that I can start posting the videos that this blog is intended for, I’m just going to post silly shit, and a comment posted by a “hater” yesterday reminded me of some of the silliest shit that has ever come out of any forum I’ve ever posted in.
I didn’t approve this comment yesterday, because I wanted to write about how, rather than evoking the anger it was intended to evoke, it brought back fond memories of the online forum that started me on the road to devoting my life to fighting the fundies.
The comment came from someone calling themselves divin2008:
new rulership for you ATHEIST SACKS OF SH*T – traitors to the human race
I went to divin2008′s link, and had what can only be described as a spiritual awakening. No, I didn’t find Jesus and start hating atheists. But my faith in Marty was restored! Who’s Marty, you ask? Well, Marty is a squirrel, but not any ordinary squirrel. Marty is a god, and had many devoted followers on the old AOL message boards, where I first decided to write my book. It was on those boards that the religion of Martyism was born.
Imagine my surprise when I found this picture of Marty on the website linked to by divin2008!
And this one of Marty engaged in “spiritual warfare.” Marty is not fighting atheists, as the misguided divin2008 seems to think. This is clearly a picture from the familiar story from the Book of Marsupials in the Holy Text of Martyism in which Marty saves the sacred oak by firing nuts from his holy machine gun.
We need to help divin2008 find Marty! Maybe this verse from the Book of Utensils (the book from the Holy Text of Martyism that is misinterpreted by the southern followers of Martyism to endorse the practice of eating squirrels as a representation of the body of Marty in their communion ritual) will help divin2008 see the light and be saved.
“And Marty was electrocuted while running along a power line, but on the third day he arose – without a tail, but that grew back later. That’s why we worship Marty. Blessed be his nuts.” – 1 Utensils 45