Tag Archive: Facepalm

Dec 31 2012

All-Time Dumbest Scientific ‘Facts’ That My Soldiers Actually Say

My Brain! You have failed me motivational poster

Some of my fellow soldiers have said some pretty unscientific or unrealistic things. A lot of these things are based on sensationalized, hyped, outdated, misread, or otherwise incorrect science. Some of it comes from their own weird minds, but a frightening amount comes from regurgitating science-sounding ‘facts’. “You only use 10% of your brain. Except …

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Dec 17 2012

WTF, yoga person!

On the apparent “tragedy” I am sitting in deep gratitude to the children who gave their lives so that millions could open their hearts a little more. For me, to call this a tragedy is the thing that makes it a tragedy. If, instead, we honor it as a gift, we notice how many people hug their children a little tighter, spend their time praying and hoping for peace and pause to feel the love they have for their own families and lives, then we honor these children and what they gave. There is an abundance of beauty in this gift. Appreciate it. When we call it a tragedy: we get sad, angry, self-righteous, and we ensure more anger and violence in the world…as we become the ones to increase it. It’s up to each and every one of us to consciously and gracefully accept the gift these children gave. –To take it as a reminder to love more, care more, say it more, and show it more. Maybe when we no longer need the reminder, these things will no longer happen. Until then, we can each do our part to honor these children and their families by being willing to see they have given a gift to millions.

It’s obviously not just evangelicals and uninformed Christians spinning a national tragedy on their metaphysical terms. Here’s one from a yoga instructor. You see, the real ‘tragedy’ is that people are calling it a ‘tragedy’. Brace yourself: The comments and ‘likes’ were awful too. People said things like “that was beautiful!” Full text below

Dec 16 2012

GTFO my facebook, ‘god not allowed in schools’ t-shirt

dear-god-you-are-not-allowed-in-schools-or-on-t-shirts-viral-stats

Yesterday, I released the ‘fixed’ version of that horrible t-shirt. You might have seen one or the other. I was shocked to see that the original photo had been shared on facebook 300,000 times. Unfortunately, it has more than doubled. It’s a start, anyway. I hope people seeing the ‘fixed’ image are actively posting it as …

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Dec 15 2012

T-shirt: god is not allowed in schools, can’t stop violence – FIXED

dear-god-you-are-not-allowed-on-t-shirts

My wife saw the image on the left going around facebook. It had over 300,000 shares. Spread it / steal it / share it, whatever. What was preventing god from stopping the shooter before he entered the school? What prevented god from interfering with the shooter’s acquisition of weapons and ammunition? Why didn’t god stop …

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Oct 13 2012

Army Chaplains accidentally using the ‘wrong’ pledge on Facebook

Army Chaplains put the 'wrong' pledge of allegiance on facebook

The California Army National Guard Chaplains’ Facebook page has a lot of goofy pictures. This one is classic. Click to embiggen. The comments there are priceless. They are preserved below the fold in case of sudden deletion.

Jun 20 2012

New product for toddlers who are caught brown-handed (NSFL)

potty training cloth gloves

Potty training disasters are inevitable. A company called “Heaven’s Lil Blessings Boutique” has developed a product promises to exacerbate the problem. If you like kids with shitty fingers, this is for you! “Great for little hands that can’t quit figure out how to keep their hands clean / covered when wiping.” I know it’s bad form …

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May 13 2012

Happy Mother’s Day, hope you like military-grade FAIL

Happy-mothers-day---hope-you-like-fail

An anonymous foxhole atheist at Fort Jackson sent me this. If you seek it out, remember do not start flame wars, and always be respectful. Don’t feed any trolls that may pop up. I’m going to Fort Jackson in a few weeks – trying to keep pitchforks and torches out of this. If you must, …

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May 01 2012

Army unit says only religious troops get out of work Friday morning

get out work friday - only if you believe in god

This flyer just went up on the Facebook page for the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne… (or simply 2-508 PIR). They are stationed at Fort Bragg, N.C. —- EDIT: ***IMPORTANT UPDATE*** ***IMPORTANT UPDATE 2 – They ‘fixed’ it and reposted it… with a wall of text rant aimed at …

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Apr 17 2012

Facebook super-fail: only Christians survive in a foxhole

Only-christians-survive-in-a-foxhole-facepalm

Larry M. says I’m a ‘dummy’ that’s going to get ‘wacked’ (sic) in a foxhole because… I’m not a Christian. He’s also grateful that he doesn’t have to be the guy who carries my body back to the FOB. Atheists are just too damned heavy! At least he accepts that there are indeed atheists in …

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Apr 03 2012

Christian wonders why atheists hate love so much

CLICK FOR GREAT JUSTICE

I am the recipient of electronic mail. This one from Ronnie was disarmingly titled “No Death Wish!” I am not writing to pass conflict to others. However, I cannot understand why you hate love so much. What?! Hate ’love’? That is the unrealistic demeanor reserved only for Disney villains. Are you a child? It is hard to …

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