Jesus walked on the water and swam on the land. He was way ahead of his time! Did you know that ‘Land Swimming’ is the latest exercise craze? “It’s not just for the rich. Even blue collar workers can swim to work.” I miss the Weekly World News.
It’s definitely worth the read. Click to embiggen.
True story: when I first joined the Army, I used to be a bit of a smart ass. Shocking, huh? Anyway, the ‘old way’ we did morning exercises was often less formal. Sometimes our platoon would break off from the rest and we would each take turns suggesting the next exercise.
Acceptable suggestions: “The sit up”, “The wide-arm push-up”, “The side straddle hop” “The V-up” My suggestions: “The back flip”, “The 10 mile sprint”, “The land swimmer”, “The Reggaeton dancer”
Eventually, they fought back with sarcasm. Unflinching response: “Demonstrator, POST!”
You’re about to click away. It’s okay, I don’t take it personally. This post is about music, not about freethought. Who do I think I am anyway, Lester Bangs?
I remember discovering The Feelies records about a decade ago. Something told me that it was so special that I should save them for a day when I gave up on music. I’ve done this with books too, refusing to read the last book in a series, or even the last pages. Finishing them seemed too fatalistic.
Now I’m older and though I haven’t given up on music, I now view my time-capsule stalling efforts as pretentious. All it got me was a half-forgotten list of music and art that I cheated myself out of loving.
The Feelies 1980 debut, ‘Crazy Rhythms’ is older than me. It’s not quite a perfect album, as I could do without the more straight-forward acoustic rock of ‘Moscow Nights’ and one or two other good-but-not-great songs. The rest is top shelf music.
…The guitar team of Mercer and Million smokes throughout, whether it’s soft, rhythmic chiming with a mysterious, distanced air or blasting, angular solos. But Fier is the band’s secret weapon, able to play straight-up beats but aiming at a rumbling, strange punch that updates Velvet Underground / Krautrock trance into giddier realms. Mercer’s obvious Lou Reed vocal inflections make the VU roots even clearer, but even at this stage of the game there’s something fresh about the work the quartet does, even 20 years on — a good blend of past and present, rave-up and reflection…
Goddamn right the drummer is the secret weapon. He’s gotta be from mars or something. Those really are some crazy rhythms. The way he bangs through ‘Raised Eyebrows’ made me a believer
I posted about Fort Meade’s Facebook page and their Justin Bieber prank, shortly after it happened. They officially announced and then minutes later, officially cancelled a fake 15-minute event featuring Justin Bieber, Mila Kunis, and Barry Manilow. The target of the prank was actually the base commander, as he had been photoshopped into a Saturday Night Fever poster.
Click to embiggen:
Despite the obvious fake event, extreme short notice, and the cancellation, some people showed up. That’s surely a testament to the growing integration of social media into our culture. I highly doubt they thought anybody would show up – or even could show up on such short notice. A few people expressed outrage at Fort Meade for tricking and ‘devastating’ the children. The vast majority thought it was funny and good for morale.
I understand what the handful of critics are saying, but I think they’re taking it way out of context. I am glad that commenter Jesse is engaging me on the blog, and hope he continues to do so. I’m not ‘attacking’ him, or the others that expressed concern. I’m expanding on my response, for clarity.
I’m sure the children are fine now. I’m sure they were not ‘devastated’ by some experience that will haunt them forever.
It’s kind of a military tradition, too. When I was deployed on the Kuwait/Iraq border, I stopped over in Camp Buehring. There were hundreds of flyers all over for upcoming ‘Camel Races in Zone 1′. Camel racing does exist, and I’m sure these flyers kinda forced everyone to google it. Something — anything — to break up the monotony of a deployment can be a soldier’s equivalent to a tween’s Justin Bieber meeting.
The flyers were all over the place for weeks, complete with a “BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!” Lots of people showed up, but no camels. Some of the people apparently still weren’t sure if Camel Racing was real. I was actually thinking of going, but was busy with a mission. I heard that a colonel showed up (this is very high rank).
For weeks, we all laughed like a bastard about it. We vowed to pull the same prank at other camps and bases, but I never got around to it.
It’s essentially like sending a private out to get ‘chem-light batteries‘, or telling a private to check the HUM-V’s ‘blinker fluid’, or to bring you a ‘box of grid squares’ for your map. Army brats grow up with ‘chem-light battery chase’ humor. Many civilians can probably recount fond memories of similar ‘snipe hunts’. Except in this case, Fort Meade’s fifteen minute event was much easier to detect as fake, and it was announced right before it was supposed to happen. Describing what happened as ‘hurt children’ at the hands of ‘deceptive co-workers’ is quite an exaggeration.
I’m not sure if the original “Santa Clause Doesn’t Exist” baby t-shirt was an ultra-Christian ‘reason for the season’ thing. Probably not. Either way, there could be many Santa-believing children who can read the shirt, depending on the family / situation.
I think that this shirt would be much more likely to appear in a Christian household. It feels like another cheese ball attempt at humor. You know, the ‘ironic’ spins on pop-culture, awkwardly re-purposing songs and fashion. The original baby-t with Santa struck me as being designed by a Christian trying to have a laugh because children believe a goofy thing that they’re told. It’s a bit hypocritical!
My wife and I are both atheists. We don’t do the Santa thing. Many parents do. Some are mixed marriages, yet some are atheists. I understand that ‘Santa’ isn’t firmly grounded in religion, and traditions can be soaked up through cultural accretion. It’s a personal decision, and there is no ‘right way’ to be an atheist parent.
Dale McGowan’s books are good places to look. McGowan’s Parenting Beyond Belief contains essays from both sides of the ‘Santa debate’. What side are you on? Do you ‘do Santa’?
Fort Meade, Maryland is home to the National Security Agency (NSA). Clearly, they’ve got some real ‘smart guys’ working there. The official Fort Meade Facebook page just announced a surprise visit from a ridiculous cast of characters. It was a ‘short notice opportunity’.
Apparently, a few people actually showed up. They didn’t think it was funny… which makes it even funnier.
Team Meade – NOW ANNOUNCING A SHORT NOTICE OPPORTUNITY!!!
In a surprise promotional event for their upcoming joint film and musical endeavors, MILA KUNIS, BARRY MANILOW,and…
JUSTIN BIEBER!!!
Will be present at the Garrison Headquarters building this afternoon only from
4:30 – 4:45 pm (NOW!)
Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to see your favorite movie and music stars!
Details:
Who: Team Meade
What: Autograph session
When: 1630-1645 TODAY!!!
Where: Garrison Headquarters, 4551 Llewellyn Ave Fort George G. Meade, MD 20755
Why: Have you got the fever? THE BIEBER FEVER???
I am surprised people fell for this… and it was announced less than an hour before it was supposed to happen. Bwahahahaha!!!
That’s the Garrison Commander, Col. Edward C. Rothstein photoshopped into Saturday Night Fever in lieu of John Travolta, by the way.
FORT LEWIS, WA (Joint Base Lewis-McChord) – A group of zealots is infiltrating Fort Lewis regularly for soul-saving raids. They arrive on the base in multiple vehicles in small groups and recruit for their church. This is illegal, and they know it.
For reference, here’s the first message I received:
Wow. One of the churches here on post is really pushing things here. I was stopped by a car while walking back from Burger King and they asked me if I wanted to come to church with them. I politely denied and they asked me if I believed on god, “no, I don’t” I replied. “Why not?!?” He exclaimed. I told him that was a conversation that neither of us had time for and certainly not one I wanted to have in the middle of the street. Now I walk up to the barracks and there are two guys bugging another soldier about Jesus and Satan outside.
Can they do this on post? They were on post and stopped at the old chapel here at Fort Lewis. They kept following me in the car trying to talk to me. – [NAME / RANK WITHHELD]
I replied yesterday, and explained all of the regulations that explicitly prohibited their behavior. I recommended calling the MP’s if they came back.
They came back last night, and vowed to keep coming back. They actually said that they ‘don’t care about the laws’:
I was stopped again tonight, twice within five minutes. The first car pulled up and said,”I saw you walking and thought you might to join us for church service.” I politely declined and they drove away. I began walking back while calling the CQ desk for the Military Police (MP’s) and I stopped again in the reception parking lot.
They pulled up and rolled down the window and I said, “let me guess, you’d like me to join you for church service?” They smiled and said and asked me how I knew. I kindly told them that I had just met two of their friends literally in the next parking lot and that I was in the middle of calling the MP’s. I asked them if they had permission to recruit on the base and said yes. I asked them for any documentation proving this (I didn’t expect there to be any even if they did have permission). They then told me what they were doing was not in fact recruiting or soliciting but only attempting to save souls. I was extremely polite and held my composure.
I began to go through the regulations that I had bookmarked from the post you made after the last time I messaged you. I offered to email them to them so they could review them for themselves. They then proceeded to tell me that in fact they didn’t care about any regulations or laws that govern this sort of thing. They told me that they were doing what they thought necessary to save the souls of those needing saving.
We discussed this a bit and even dabbled in talk about the evidence for Jesus in historical records. They made a reference to military laws and treaties and asked me if I would be willing to break those in order to save the lives of my battle buddies. I said, “That depends, but if I chose to do that I would understand that I would be held accountable for my actions regardless of life lost or saved.”
Near the end of our discussion I asked them which church they belonged to and Rico, the driver and most outspoken of the two declined to answer. I explained that I merely wanted to learn more about him and his group and all he has to say was that ‘he worked for Jesus’. After several refusals to tell me I mentioned calling the MP’s again. I asked him to let his group know that they should stop harassing people on post and to find some new place to save souls. They mentioned that it was ‘like this‘ (how I was to them) every where. I jokingly asked them if maybe there was a problem with how they go about their business. I also told them that next time, because I was sure there would be one, I will just pretend to be interested and find out on my own where they were from. He laughed and told me that was a great idea and I said good night.
I walked back to the CQ desk and talked to the sergeant in charge and he got me in touch with the MP’s. I was able to share with them the license plate numbers of both cars, one person’s name, a description of the vehicles and its passengers. Unfortunately, I was told that next time I should call the MP dispatch number instead. Which honestly makes sense, but I did notify them that this was being done on base. All in all I had some interesting conversation at least.
They were not military by the way. Only one claimed to be former military. I’ve started asking around and it seems they have gotten to quite a few others. The first car was waiting in the parking lot in an area is that frequently walked by those who are at reception with no cars.
What you can do to help
Please alert the base and tell them that you care about the laws. Send a message to Fort Lewis leadership!
Please contact Fort Lewis: **UPDATE: – Fort Lewis has responded. No further contact is necessary. They confirmed that this is illegal, and they are taking it seriously. Fort Lewis / JBLM have dealt with a group (possibly this one) in the past. The military police / Provost Marshal’s office (PMO) appreciated the head’s up. They promise to react quickly to any calls to the MP Dispatch, and escort the offenders off post immediately.
I suggest to any soldiers who encounter this, document it with your cellphone, and then call the MP’s. JBLM is a controlled access base so their on-post status can potentially be revoked permanently. Thank you, JBLM for taking this seriously!**
Be respectful, as always, if you choose to interact. They actually haven’t done anything wrong – off post civilian groups are breaking the laws. Now that they have pledged to keep breaking the law, it’s time to demand that the Fort Lewis military police respond to these incidents. It’s their mission to protect service members from this type of creepy illegal harassment. Service members need to know exactly what to do, and what the MP’s are going to do about it.
This is illegal as hell. Honestly, this affects Christians directly too. If one group is permitted, well – good luck stopping Scientology Westboro, etc. They’d have just as much right. Please share this, and spread the word!
I’ll re-post all of the regulations being violated below the fold.
I just got a depressing message from an active duty soldier:
Wow. One of the churches here on post is really pushing things here. I was stopped by a car while walking back from Burger King and they asked me if I wanted to come to church with them. I politely denied and they asked me if I believed on god, “no, I don’t” I replied. “Why not?!?” He exclaimed. I told him that was a conversation that neither of us had time for and certainly not one I wanted to have in the middle of the street. Now I walk up to the barracks and there are two guys bugging another soldier about Jesus and Satan outside.
Can they do this on post? -NAME / RANK / DUTY STATION WITHHELD
No. The reason why is a bit complex, only because it’s unclear whether they were representing an off-post Church, or a chapel service. It’s not legal either way, but each scenario has entirely different regulations. More on that in a bit.
He added:
They were on post and stopped at the old chapel here at [WITHHELD]. They kept following me in the car trying to talk to me.
This is harassment.Call the MP’s. It’s the right thing to do. They are way over the line, and obviously will do this to many more soldiers.
Scenario 1: Membership drive for off-post church
It’s extremely likely that they were recruiting for an off-post church. In legalese those churches are called ‘non-federal entities’.
They must be an approved Non-Federal Entity at that post. It’s not necessarily that difficult, as all churches are already 501(c)3 default. Still, they have to apply with the post commander, and their charter for approval they must spell out what actions they plan to do. I highly doubt “chase down all the sinners at Burger King” is in their charter.
If a commander let one church group roam free, they have to let all of them roam free. That includes Jehovah’s Witnesses, Latter-Day Saints, Scientology, potentially even Westboro Baptist Church.
Even in the alternate universe where WBC and LDS are allowed to run around on military bases, they still couldn’t conduct these miniature membership drives. The Department of Defense has several regulations that prohibit this scenario.
A transgender woman named Elizabeth Tremblay, who deserted the Marines 31 years ago when she was Pvt. Donald Tremblay, learned today she will get a discharge “with honorable conditions.”
HomePost has the full storyincluding a short video interview. That interview was done before the Marine Corps decided her fate. I think you can tell she really loved being a Marine.
I’m glad the USMC made the right call, and gave her an honorable discharge. Congratulations, Elizabeth.
Co-founder of reddit Aaron Swartz hanged himself. The 26 year old was struggling with depression and the fear of decades in prison over what amounts to ‘checking out millions of library books‘.
Remove United States District Attorney Carmen Ortiz from office for overreach in the case of Aaron Swartz.
It is too late to do anything for Aaron Swartz, but those who used the powers granted to them by their office to hound him into a position where he was facing a ruinous trial, life in prison and the ignominy and shame of being a convicted felon; for an alleged crime that the supposed victims did not wish to prosecute.
A prosecutor who does not understand proportionality and who regularly uses the threat of unjust and overreaching charges to extort plea bargains from defendants regardless of their guilt is a danger to the life and liberty of anyone who might cross her path.
Justin Griffith is the Military Director for American Atheists.
Justin is spearheading Fort Bragg's 'Rock Beyond Belief' atheist festival, and demanding equal treatment for foxhole atheists - including local groups who are currently banned from even meeting on post. After failing the Army's mandatory Spiritual Fitness testing, the remedial training told Justin he could improve his Spiritual Fitness by starting an 'online blog'. You may have heard about it. :)
"*Foxhole atheists are fighting for your rights. Please return the favor.*"
- How do I fix my official records to say 'ATHEIST'? In just 5 minutes you can change your records. Walk-throughs provided for all DoD branches. Air Force Navy and Marine Corps can do so online.
- Why should I avoid "NO-REL-PREF" as my religious preference on my official records? This is a debate-ending reason to fix your records. Also, NRP is just incorrect. Atheists don't have a religion, however, you *do* have a preference about religion.
- How can civilians help foxhole atheists? In as little as 30 seconds you can make a huge difference. Add your phone call or email to a stack of other voices demand justice.
- I like to click on things - can I help? Yes! Use those sharing buttons, help us spread the word. Join the American Atheists Military facebook group to directly interact with a large number of foxhole atheists. Like the RBB page for blog-post and festival-related discussion.
- I hate all of you military thugs, what should I do? Read this. If you still feel a burning desire to argue with or mock us, please leave your comment in that thread.
Free Thought | Free Festival
The free festival on Fort Bragg's Main Post Parade Field was a massive success! Expect updates, highlights, and other footage over the next few months.
UPDATE: A second festival is in the works for Camp Pendleton - a large Marine Corps base near San Diego, CA. Summer 2013
Like us on Facepalm
The painless way to support Rock Beyond Belief is to 'Like' us on Facebook. It takes 3 seconds. You do support the troops... don't you?
Even more Facepalm
A really awesome Facebook group, American Atheists Military is uniting service members, veterans and supportive civilians. This is where a lot of important issues are first discovered, and brought to light. There is a constant stream of foxhole atheists correcting their dog tags to say 'ATHEIST' and putting them up on the wall. Throw yours up there! No 'anti-war' or 'anarchist' trolling, please.
For those of you wanting to connect directly with Justin Griffith on facebook, there are still a few spots left.
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