By now you’ve likely seen the divisive “Mary had a little lamb… of god… that belongs in the schools” variant on Facebook.
Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was as white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
He followed her to school each day,
‘Twasn’t even in the rule.
He made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name.
Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gunshots and tears.
What must we do to stop the crime,
That’s in our schools today?
Let’s let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!
I suggest replying with a ‘fixed’ version.
Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was as white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
She brought it up in school each day,
Which broke the golden rule.
Gary had a little cow,
Sacred don’t you know,
Gary said it’s his turn now,
But the teacher always said no.
She made the children stand and pray,
Praising the Lamb at school.
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To teach the Lamb of God in school,
when some don’t think the same.
Students can still bring up their gods,
lambs, cows, and sacred things,
the teacher just can’t pick a side,
parents pick eternal kings.
Despite what you may have heard,
About our founders’ intent,
About both rights and even cows:
they’re actually self-evident,
and every child is born an equal,
bring the old testament,
and let them bring the sequel.
The only problem is that the students are of varying religious backgrounds, and it is not ethical for teachers to push their own personal religious beliefs on highly impressionable youths at government expense.
So that last line doesn’t quite flow… whatever. The poem has a cadence that drives me nuts, feel free to suggest edits. I can’t believe the original variant was so popular.
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Miles RevPlex
December 21, 2012 at 8:57 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Actually, I think the last lines are lovely.
Aliasalpha
December 21, 2012 at 9:01 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Now I think Lamb Of God should be allowed in school, just that I think it should be THIS Lamb Of God
shouldbeworking
December 21, 2012 at 9:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Nothing wrong with serving lamp chops in the school cafeteria, is there?
punchdrunk
December 21, 2012 at 9:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was as white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
Gary had a sacred Cow.
Sasha ate Halal.
Nora had a Noodle thing.
(really, none at all)
How the children laughed and played,
And thought each other wrong.
‘Come into class’ the teacher called,
‘Where all of us belong.’
Gregory in Seattle
December 21, 2012 at 11:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mary had a little lamb,
The butcher killed it dead.
Now she takes the lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread.
————————--
Mary had a little lamb
A little pork, a little jam.
Some scrambled eggs, a slice of toast,
Some bacon then some potted roast.
Mary had a little bit
Of everything, and don’t you know?
When they carried Mary out
Her face was white as snow.
What can I say? I haven’t had breakfast yet.
sheila
December 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
Ten thousand volts shot up it’s bum
And turned its wool to nylon.
mayanskeptic
December 21, 2012 at 6:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
THE MAYAN SKEPTIC APOCALYPSE 12/21/2012
we really enjoy your atheist forum
do a search on youtube for skepticality
a little souvenir
it is the video about the PIGS
Justin Griffith
December 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
is dat sum mabus?