Flanke Steak Tacos

INGREDIENTS
flank steak
Whole Foods Peruvian BBQ spice blend
olive oil
guacamole
salsa
red cabbage
limes
bleu cheese
hand made corn tortillas

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Steak and spice blend.

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Generously rub with the spice blend and also rub on some olive oil.

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Allow to marinate in the fridge for at least a few hours.

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Grill the steak.

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Rest for five minutes wrapped in foil.

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Looks good!

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Condiments. Warm the tortillas, obvs.

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Grilled Flanke Steake With Rice Pilaf

INGREDIENTS
one flank steak
Whole Foods carne asada spice blend
one cup basmati rice
two tablespoons broken linguini
half cup diced white onion
olive oil
salt
pepper
saffron
grated fennel seeds
two cups chicken stock, salted to taste

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Look at this fucken flanke steak!!!!

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Rub the carne asada spice blend all over it.

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Seal it in a vacuum bag to marinate in the fridge for at least a few hours. I was originally planning to sous vide this motherfucker, expecting it take about an hour or two. But everything I read said that for flank steak or skirt steak, you need to sous vide it at the rare-medium rare temperature for 24-48 hours (I guess to tenderize the meat??). Well, we needed to eat the shittio that evening, so I just marinated it and then grilled it (see below).

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Sautee the onion in olive oil.

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Throw in the linguini and continue to sautee until the onion is toasting and the linguini is starting to brown.

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Add the rice and saffron, and continue to sautee until the rice is starting to toast and smells really good.

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Add the chicken stock, and some ground pepper and ground fennel, stir well, cover, and put in the pre-heated 350 degree oven for 35 minutes.

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Grill one side of the steak for a few minutes and flip it over.

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DONE!!! Remove the steak from the grill, wrap it in foil, and let it rest for about five minutes.

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Let the pilaf rest with the cover on for about five minutes, and then open it, and fluff with a fork.

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Remove the steak from the foil.

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Cooked perfectly!!!

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Time to eat!!!

Super Bowl Halftime Show

I had never heard Katie Perry sing before, but goddamn is she fucken horrible!!!!! When Missy Elliot came on, I thought we were saved, but NO!!! That fucken Katie Perry came back!!!!

You know who should have been the Half Time show???? SALT ‘N PEPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super Bowl Chili 2015

INGREDIENTS
25 dried Hatch chiles, stems and seeds removed
one large white onion
twelve large garlic cloves
one tbsp each, coriander, cumin, oregano, paprika, black pepper
three pounds ground meat
2/3 cup rye
20oz bottle of porter
two large cans crushed san marzanos
three bay leaves
one can Goya Roma beans
one can Goya black beans
olive oil
salt

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Dried Hatch chiles.

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Boil some water, throw them in, turn it off, and cover, steeping for about a half hour, stirring a few times and making sure they all get down into the water.

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Onions and garlic.

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Herbs and shpisches!

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Ground beef.

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Sautee the onions and garlic with the herbs and shpisches, but not bay leaves, until caramelizing.

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Add the meat and turn the heat up. Brown it while breaking it up.

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Reconstituted chiles.

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Meat is nicely browned.

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Rye and porter. (Have a few sippes! I did!)

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Deglaze with the rye.

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Add the porter and reduce until the alcohol is gone.

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Put the chiles and chili liquor in the blender and blend the everloving fucke out of itte.

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Add the chile puree.

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Add the tomatoes and bay leaves, and four tablespoons of salt, and simmer on low for a long time, stirring every half hour to prevent burning on the bottom.

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Simmering!!!

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Drain the beans and add them after the meat is pretty tender, about three or four hours. Simmer for another hour. Additional salt to taste.

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DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Republican Filth Getting What They Want: Toddlers Grabbing Guns Out Of Their Mothers’ Purses And Shooting Their Felon Fathers In The Asse And Their Pregnant Mothers In The Shoulder While Pit Bulls Observe The Carnage

Responsible gun owners:

The woman told police she purchased the gun the day before the incident, Drobik said. The man is not legally allowed to have a firearm because he has previously been convicted of a felony crime.

The family, including a two-year-old girl and the children’s grandmother, had been living in an America’s Best Value Inn for about a week with their two pit bulls when the incident occurred.

Strozzapreti With Sopressatta Tomato Ricotta Sauce

INGREDIENTS
half pound strozzapreti
chopped sopressatta
diced garlic
2/3 box of Pomi strained tomatoes
salt
fresh-ground red chili pepper flakes
splash white wine
salt
olive oil
half pound whole-milk ricotta
parmigiano reggiano

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Sopressatta.

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Some of the other ingredients.

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Sautee the sopressatta on low: don’t scorch it.

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Throw in some garlic and keep sauteeing.

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Deglaze with a splash of whie wine when the garlic is nice and soft.

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Add the tomatoes and some salt and simmer on low.

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Tomatoes look cooked.

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Boil the strozzapreti in salted water, throw them in with the sauce, and add some pasta water. Finish on medium-high for a minute or so with gentle stirring.

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Turn to low, add the ricotta, and stir gently to incorporate.

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Done.

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Grate a little red chili flakes and reggiano on top.

Sous Vide Spice Rub Pork Loin With Prepackaged Indian Rice Dealio

INGREDIENTS
one pork tenderloin, about one pound
HERBS AND SCHPISCHES!!!!
salt
olive oil
Jaali Bean Lentil and Brown Rice Kit

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Input to the spice rub.

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Spice rub!

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Pork tenderloin.

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Coat that motherfucker with the rub.

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Stick the coated motherfucker in the fucken bag, add some olive oil, and vacuum the motherfucker uppe. Sous vide at 135 degrees F for at least two hours.

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Jaali Bean.

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Sautee the spices and peas from the small bag in olive oil.

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Add the shizz from the big bag–rice and lentils and some other spices–and sautee some more.

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Add the requisite amount of water, stir, cover, and put in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

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Check that motherfucker out! Looks like fucken Moby Dicke!

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Let the Jaali Bean shizz rest for five minutes after cooking, and then check it out.

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Sear the motherfucker.

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Seared Moby Dicke!

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Slice the motherfucker.

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DEEEEEEEELISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blizzard Snow Day Brunch Part 2: Tuna/Salmon Melts

INGREIDNTS
two cans tuna
two cans salmon
diced purple onion
diced celery
finely chopped dill
mayo
salt and pepper
nice cheese(s) to melt on top, shredded
multigrain bread

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Here’s the tuna, salmon, onion, celery, and dill.

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Mash it all up together with some mayo, and season with salt and pepper.

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Cheeses for melting. On the left is French mimolette cow’s milk cheese and on the right is a Dutch sheep’s milk cheese called “lamb chopper”.

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Toast the bread slices and place on a baking sheet or broiling pan.

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Apply a generous portion of the fish salad to each piece of toast and top with a generous portion of shredded cheese.

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Broil the fucke out of it until the cheese is melted to your satisfaction.

Blizzard Snow Day Brunch: Sous Vide Onsen Eggs Benedict

INGREDIENTS
eggs
sliced Iberico de bellota ham tenderloin
sliced multigrain bread
fresh-ground red chili pepper flakes
fresh-ground fennel seeds
salt

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Large eggs.

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Boil for three minutes. This firms up the white nicely.

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Immediately plunge into an ice water bath for at least one minute. This stops the white from getting too hard.

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Cook in the sous vide immersion cooker at 147 degrees for 45 minutes. This doesn’t further cook the white at all, but brings the yolk to a nice hot soupy consistency.

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Multigrain bread.

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TOAST!

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Beautiful onsen egg.

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Generously layer slices of the Iberico ham on the toast. Peel eggs and plop them on top. Grate some pepper and fennel, and sprinkle a little salt.

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Perfect!