Human Experimentation By Faceshitte Without Institutional Review Board Approval

Any IRB experts care to weigh in on whether it is acceptable that PNAS published this paper describing Faceshitte’s psychological experiments on its users without any IRB review (at least that was referred to in the paper)?

Here is PNAS’s policy on human experimentation:

(vii) Research involving Human and Animal Participants and Clinical Trials must have been approved by the author’s institutional review board. Authors must follow the International Committee of Medical Journal Editors’ policy and deposit trial information and design into an accepted clinical trial registry before the onset of patient enrollment. Authors must include in the Methods section a brief statement identifying the institutional and/or licensing committee approving the experiments. For experiments involving human participants, authors must also include a statement confirming that informed consent was obtained from all participants. All experiments must have been conducted according to the principles expressed in the Declaration of Helsinki.

Looks pretty unambiguous that PNAS did not follow its own policies, and should retract this paper, right?

Phase Change

People really are resistant to the idea that there is a qualitative phase change associated with having the entire fucken kajillobyte universe of media in your fucken pocket all the fucken time, and with the providers of that universe having designed the systems of access to be as intrusive, manipulative, and addictive as possible. This is qualitatively different than what has gone before, with fundamentally different social, psychological, and medical implications.

Cystoscopy

The Good: I saw all the way up my dickhole and into my bladder on teevee, like journey to the center of the earth.

The Bad: A dude stuck a fucken probe with a camera and a light on the end all the way up my dickhole and into my bladder. When I saw the probe as the nurses were prepping, I was all thinking, “That must be the thing that they plug the narrower thing into that goes up my dickhole.” So I go, “So, where’s the narrower thing that the doc is gonna plug into that thing?”, and the nurses were all like, “HAHAHAHAH. That’s what’s going in.”

Selling Tires To New Yorkers

You’ve got a tire commercial on the motherfucken YES network during the Yankees game, and the tire spokesman’s accent sounds like some kind of southern inbred deliverance freak all like “Squeeeal like a taaaaahr!” Your audience is a bunch of fucken New York Hymietown kikes, dagos, spics, darkies, and other undesirable non-real Americans. I say fire your ad company. What you really need is “Real New Yaawkers ride Foyerstone! It’s round like a bagel!”

Flirting At Conferences

There is an interesting conversation going on at ProfLikeSubstance about flirting at conferences. The point of his post is that dudes should stop treating conferences as a fucken singles bar where they are entitled to “Hey, baaaaaby!” every fucken woman they encounter. And then of course there are the whiny motherfuckers in the comments section who are all like “YOU CAN’T BAN FLIRTING!!1111!!1! NO FAIR!!111!!!”.

(1) If you are socially inept, can’t read signals, and are therefore unable to determine how to flirt in a fun and non-threatening way that is appropriately cognizant of both power hierarchies and other people’s personal boundaries, then the responsibility is yours to NOT ATTEMPT TO FLIRT. It is selfish pigge behavior to expect other people to suffer for your social ineptness, and that expectation itself is exactly a symptom of what ails you.

What you need to do is step completely away from the idea that you should be attempting to flirt, look within yourself (with professional help, if necessary), figure out why you are socially inept, why you can’t read signals, and why you can’t express romantic interest in someone without setting off their creep alarm. And then work on those things, and only return to attempting to flirt when you can do it in a way that is safe and comfortable for others.

(2) If you are an intentional harrasser, then you are not flirting, and are only using flirting as cover for being a harrassing pigge. So fucke you: stop being a harrassing pigge.

(3) If you are one of the people who is going on all about how you are a charismatic flirter who hooks up/met your husband-wife/everyone loves at conferences and who makes no one uncomfortable because you are such an adept and subtle flirter: THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT YOU. No one is trying to stop you from flirting in an appropriate manner, if you are not making other people uncomfortable. Although if you are so fucken defensive about this topic, there is probably a decent chance that you *are* making people uncomfortable, and are delusional about your flirting skills, in which case see #1.