Ponderable »« Greatest Breakfast Sangwich Known To Humankind

Provided By The Management For Your Protection

(1) What the fucken fucke is this stupid piece of tissue paper protecting your asse from? All the goddamn pathogenic bacteria are on the fucken door handle.

(2) Who fucken gives a goddamn flying fucke that “The Management” provided this farcical nonsense?

(3) The only legitimate use for these fucken pieces of tissue paper are to dry your goddamn hands in a hell spawn bathroom where “The Management” hasn’t provided any motherfucken paper towels.

(4) The manufacturers of these fucken wispy pieces of shitte purposely make them all thin and feeble so that if you try to dry your hands with a stack of them, they disintegrate and leave little specks of paper all over your hands.

Comments

  1. Al Dente says

    I use toilet paper because I prefer not to have shit on my underwear (or trousers if I’m commando). YMMV.

  2. Trebuchet says

    “Ass Gaskets”

    They got started, I think, because people who had STD’s would claim the must have gotten them “from a toilet seat”. That solidified the idea that you COULD get them from a toilet seat, and an industry was born. You don’t see them all that much any more.

  3. unnullifier says

    I have found a use for paper toilet seat covers: instead of putting them on the seat, lay them on the surface of the water inside the bowl. It eliminates the surface tension of the water so that when something drops into it (such as poop), the splash back is greatly reduced, which prevents toilet water from being splashed back onto one’s behind. Smarter Every Day did a pretty good video demonstrating this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XNDM4eAn1U

  4. Al Dente says

    Okay, if PhysioProffe is talking about toilet seat covers then he has a legitimate whine.

    I saw in a toilet seat cover dispenser with the following graffito: “Free cowboy hats”.

  5. homesick says

    WTF. Miss my toilet. Be using it at english tea time. Who cares about cowboy hats!. Hahaha

  6. Trebuchet says

    It’s just occurred to me that if the women CPP was whining about last week, leaving drops on the seat, had used those ass gaskets he wouldn’t have had a problem. Which way do you want it?

  7. Chebag says

    Are you feeling okay, Comradde?

    Maybe you need to check your collar size again or loosen your tie.

  8. says

    Fortunately, we don’t have such things in the UK. Of course, not that far away in France, they don’t have toilet seats …..

    One camp site I stayed on once had a dispenser in the toilet stalls for some fast-drying cleaning fluid; which you could spray on a piece of bog roll, wipe the seat and then flush away.

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