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Feb 08 2014

Olympics Ponderable

How do these ski jump motherfuckers learn to ski jump in the first place without getting killed when they don’t know how the fuck to ski jump yet?

10 comments

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  1. 1
    Sammy B

    By beginning, at ridiculously young ages, jumping off of hills about the size of the average garden shed, and working their way up from there.

  2. 2
    chigau (違う)

    I thought they put the kids on skate-boards and ran them into foam pads.

  3. 3
    Trebuchet

    Magic. They slide down the jump and say “wingardium leviosa”, with the wand pointed at their feet, just as the leave the end. Those who fail are rescued by senior wizards who waft them back down to earth. They are then safe, but have failed their O.W.L’s.

  4. 4
    Tsu Dho Nimh

    You start by going off moguls and headwalls on the slopes. When you can do that and land well, you shift to the actual jumps.

    http://www.mechanicsofsport.com/skiing/manoeuvres/jumping.html

  5. 5
    dms

    By jumping into a giant airbag: http://cypressmountain.com/airbag

    I’ve also seen them jump into water when it’s warm enough.

  6. 6
    Chebag

    10-20 M baby jumps. Dumasse.

  7. 7
    thunk: turmite city

    By breaking their legs the first time round.

  8. 8
    thebookofdave

    The training videos help.

  9. 9
    happy-go-lucky

    hahahahaha, nice falling down the precipice

  10. 10
    Bam294

    Air bags are for douchebags and helmet loving helicopter parents. Growing up in the far north, we skied for gym everyday from preK to HS. The more spastic critters got taken to the jump. They were never gonna grow up to be that smart and their parents weren’t likely to sue. Not kidding.

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