Aug 10 2013

Web Designers Who Should Be Hit By Giant Asteroids

The motherfuckers who make me sit through a goddamn motherfucken Flash animation before I can navigate the goddamn motherfucken piece of shitte Web site.

EDIT: Title updated to remove reference to dying in a fire.


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  1. 1
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Fair warning: You may find a significant number of commenters showing up to tell you why you shouldn’t use DIAF.

    You know there are sites out there which are nearly 100% Flash? Yeah, the Web can be total crap.

  2. 2
    Comradde PhysioProffe

    Serious question: Please tell me why DIAF is problematic. I certainly don’t want to gratuitously disturb people if there is a reasonable concern, and can edit the post.

  3. 3
    Lithified Detritus

    It’s not that difficult.

    Imagine that you had a loved one who died horribly in a fire. Now imagine how many people there are for whom this is true.

    It’s called empathy.

  4. 4

    I think a curse that’s meant for hyperbolic/comedic effect should always err on the side of “laughably improbable” (such as the giant asteroid) instead of “could easily happen”. Dying in a fire is unfortunately not uncommon.

    Nonetheless I agree: web designers who clearly don’t give a fuck about how their site functions and would rather it animate them prettily at the very least need a smack with a rolled-up newspaper. “Bad designer. Bad!”

  5. 5
    Comradde PhysioProffe

    Yeah, I agree completely. That’s why I edited the post. Live and learn.

  6. 6
    Lithified Detritus

    Live and learn.

    Good on you for that, CPP.

    “Bad designer. Bad!”

    True, but keep in mind that while the designer can offer ideas and advice, ultimately s/he has to deliver what the client wants. A good friend of mine is a web designer, and is designing a site right now for a group I represent. The group rejected the first design, and insisted on changes. While I like the result, it could have turned out badly. I am traumatized by the idea of my friend dying in a fire, but not so much by the image of him getting smacked with a newspaper. If he gets hit by a giant asteroid we are all screwed anyway.

  7. 7

    Once those web designers have been hit by the asteroid, can we send it on to the morons at Adobe who program the flash plugin for Chrome? You know, the one that constantly crashes? And pretty much crashes my old XP machine to the point of needing a reboot? You’d think the constant updates (which come prepackaged with an unwanted McAfee product) would include a fix, but apparently they aren’t capable of that.

    “Shockwave Flash has Crashed”. Well, of course it has. It does every day.

    PS: Yes, I’ve already disabled the built-in Chrome flash player.

  8. 8
    Lithified Detritus

    I think a curse that’s meant for hyperbolic/comedic effect should always err on the side of “laughably improbable” (such as the giant asteroid) instead of “could easily happen”.

    I think that this sums it up very well.

    And, yes, there are a lot of hack web designers out there who should get smacked with a newspaper. The giant asteroid would cause too much collateral damage.

  9. 9
    TGAP Dad

    Are we suggesting that being hit by an asteroid is better than dying in a fire? FWIW: I want to see the entirety of Adobe go up in flames, and all Flash content be destroyed by malware. Anonymous: please see to this (the malware, that is).

  10. 10

    thats not funny my brother died that way


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