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Jun 26 2013

Srsly McDonalds?

Gigantic multinational corporations are still signing off on teevee ads selling their products based on how goddamn fucken hilarious it is that dudes who want to do important shitte like eat deep-fried formed chicken asse pellets in peace instead have to listen to blithering bitchez yap, yap, yap at them about their stupid blithering bitch gibberish?

57 comments

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  1. 1
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    Sexism, speciesism, and anxious masculinity in a toxic brew? Say it ain’t so!

  2. 2
    DrugMonkey

    Nobody actually eats chicken asse. You’d have to be pretty fucked up to do that, right PP?

  3. 3
    kraut

    First off – I don’t care what the fuck you like or dislike about McDonalds, as a fast food chain it is likely better than most.
    Second – you ass hat call yourself a fucking skeptic? And you perpetrate that same old shit about “chicken ass” in McNuggets? Where the fuck did you take your studies – and I sure hope with a fucked up research attitude like that and big fucking mouth proclaiming bullshit you never get near a patient.
    Third – your attitude to processed food – which food isn’t, by the way, asshole? heard about cooking? You do NOT think that cooking is processing food? You eat your food raw? all of it? Adding spices is NOT processing? turning nice crunchy spaghetti into a soggy mess is not processing? Jeez, your idiocy really blows my stack, scumbag.
    You seem to be a close relative with your bullshit posting to that guy? eh? Now there’s a really Doctor asshole with a golden rim for you, dipshit.

    At least, if you rant, get some background motherfucker. Or sister fucker; or Daddy fucker. Or whatever it is you fancy to dip your wick in.

    “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_McNuggets”

    Yeah, cocksucker, it is PROCESSED FOOD”…cue the scary zombie music, and think about all the non processed food like burger meat (seriously – you really have a clue what it contains?)
    And all the healthy veggies treated with tons of pesticides, fungicides, insecticides, germicides, handled by the unwashed asswiping hands of hundreds of farm workers..yeah man, you live so healthy that of course the McDonald abomination is scary to you.
    But as my advise – get some McDonalds McNuggets and shove them up your poopshoot and feel comfy to be ass-sociated with idiots like Mercola – your “skepticism” and his man – you are on one fucking big same wavelength.

  4. 4
    Butch Pansy

    It seems to me the topic at hand is sexist advertising.

  5. 5
    kraut

    Maybe, but he still is propagating utter bullshit in the same breath.

  6. 6
    kraut

    Oh, and by the way – i hope the asshat stays away from American beer if he is so scared about processed food.. In Germany (and I prefer either Becks, Warsteiner or the original Pilsener) the “reinheitsgebot” stipulates what goes into a drink that deserves the name “Beer”: Water, malt and hops. That is that. Anything else is dishwater – my label for all american and canadian “beers”

  7. 7
    denaturesd

    i thought it was abundantly clear that “chicken asse pellets” was a reference to how these are the least brave of all foods.

  8. 8
    kraut

    “i thought it was abundantly clear that “chicken asse pellets” was a reference to how these are the least brave of all foods.”

    Who give a flying fuck what you think? Go fuck your pet rat, arsehole.

  9. 9
    Jafafa Hots

    Kraut has clearly never heard of “pink slime.” What was once waste, now blasted from the bone by water jets, soaked in ammonia because it’s often rancid, they pressed into morsels for the kiddies.

    Kraut also apparently is more concerned about defending corporate shit-food profits than Kraut is about sexism.

    Kraut also opens and closes by being a rude abusive asshole, with a cream filling of rude abusive asshole in the center.

    How someone with such a personality type could prioritize corporate junk food over social justice is…
    well actually, completely to be expected.

  10. 10
    Reptile Dysfunction

    Greetings, Mr. Kraut.
    Your ideas are intriguing &
    I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  11. 11
    Ysanne

    Arschmade Kraut, who the fuck complained about processed food here? I mean, before you completely went off the rails…

  12. 12
    Odyssey

    kraut,
    Your knowledge of beers is astounding! And here I was under the mistaken impression that beer also needed to have yeast in it.

  13. 13
    Trebuchet

    “Reinheitsgebot” is something of a thing of the past anyhow, thanks to uniform EU rules. As I understand it, it did not allow for the addition of yeast, depending on naturally occurring yeasts.

    Does anyone have a link to the ad in question? I don’t recall having seen it.

  14. 14
    Sam N

    @6,12

    Right, and as for American beer. I’ll take a Green Flash IPA or Speedway Stout over the vast majority of German beers any day. While Belgium certainly has an excellent tradition, my very favorite beers (and usually cheaper than the Belgians) are now produced in the USA.

  15. 15
    slc1

    Re Kraut the Hun

    The only thing worse then a fuckken Yankee fan is a fuckken Hun.

  16. 16
    kraut

    “In the original text, the only ingredients that could be used in the production of beer were water, barley and hops”
    “Note that no yeast was mentioned in the original text. It was not until the 1800s that Louis Pasteur discovered the role of microorganisms in the process of fermentation; therefore, yeast was not known to be an ingredient of beer. Brewers generally took some sediment from the previous fermentation and added it to the next, the sediment generally containing the necessary organisms to perform fermentation. If none were available, they would set up a number of vats, relying on natural airborne yeast to inoculate the brew.”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot

    so even the most dense uni lingual idiot can understand

    Don’t fucking compare me to a Yankee. At least we don’t pretend (anymore) to be the `good`guys, whuile the fucking yankess still think they rtighteously save the world by bombing the shit out of people.

    my very favorite beers (and usually cheaper than the Belgians) are now produced in the USA.“

    A country that invented fast food deserves the beer to match.

  17. 17
    kraut

    Fucking stupid fucking forum that does not permit editing. Who for fucks sake invented this shit?

    “Reinheitsgebot” is something of a thing of the past anyhow, thanks to uniform EU rules”

    Bullshit, arsehole. The reinheits gebot still stands for beers brewed in Germany. What the rest of fucking Europe does, who gives a rats ass wet fart?

    “Kraut has clearly never heard of “pink slime.”
    the same as the english spam? what the fuck, you ground up chicken, you ground up beef with all kinds on non meat proteins – tendons, pieces of bone etc. Who gives a shit, it is all protein. Ground it up, add spices, form a patty and eat.
    The illusion that any food is not processed only applies if you eat your meat raw preferably from a freshly killed animal where you killed it yourself or under your supervision. Even than – curing meat by just leaving it in a cold space for days is “processing”, utilizing enzymes etc. So the only unprocessed meat is eat your white tail steak fresh off the carcass. Or ground up your bison freshly killed and eat it a la tartar.
    Done both, and it is good.

    “that dudes who want to do important shitte like eat deep-fried formed chicken asse pellets in peace instead have to listen to blithering bitchez yap, yap, yap at them about their stupid blithering bitch gibberish?”

    who wants to listen to bitch shit anyway? I rather have a german beer and stare into the sunset or go fishing alone with no arsehole male or female disturbing my piece with their fucked up talk. Why is it sexist not to want to listen to bitch talk I don’t give shit about?

    Why is it against some correctness arsehole punk fucked up shit to portray men as they are: not fucking interested in what bitches are talking about? That doesn’t mean McDonalds food is the pinnacle – I never said that, you community of associated arseholy idiots, I said get your shit straight if you want to be addressed at “skeptics” and provide correct info and not some “Huffpo” crap.

    Do we now have to pretend to be “politically correct” that males in general are interested in bitch talk? If i am addressed with some intelligent question or an approach to intelligent conversation – of course, but inanities – fuck off.

  18. 18
    skeptifem

    “eat deep-fried formed chicken asse pellets ” is a fucking awesome phrase.

    Also wow kraut is an idiot. He took that phrase seriously and then insulted physio’s skeptic cred (lol), then used the phrase ‘bitch talk’ in a serious manner. Why the fuck should anyone care what this dudebro thinks? He is a misogynistic piece of shit. Men who aren’t misogynistic pieces of shit are interested in ‘bitch talk’- as in, they don’t discredit what women have to say based on their gender.

    A manboob, on my FTB? its more likely than you think…

  19. 19
    Trebuchet

    You know, I’m ALMOST certain that Kraut is not a sockpuppet for CPP himself, but given the considerable similarity in writing styles and the existence of Poe’s law, I simply can’t be sure.

  20. 20
    Skip White

    Methinks kraut had too much German beer. Also, he clearly does not follow baseball or this blog, given conflating “Yankee fan” with “yankee” in the imperialist American military sense.

  21. 21
    daniellavine

    Methinks kraut had too much sterno. I wasn’t that incoherent and abusive during the worst blackout drunk of my life — that looks more like the results of damage to the prefrontal cortex.

  22. 22
    daniellavine

    Don’t fucking compare me to a Yankee. At least we don’t pretend (anymore) to be the `good`guys, whuile the fucking yankess still think they rtighteously save the world by bombing the shit out of people.

    Not sure how anyone who generalizes over a whole nationality like this can criticize anyone else with respect to skeptical credentials.

    Oh wait, yeah I do: cognitive dissonance. Just like the fundies!

  23. 23
    Sam N

    Yeah, kraut’s a pretty big fucking moron. Especially since the statement about the USA not being heroes for bombing the shit out of other countries is probably how most of us that read PP view the USA’s dumb ass foreign policy. But far more offensively, Kraut has terrible taste and ignorance with regards to beer.

  24. 24
    Odyssey

    Trebuchet wrote: “Reinheitsgebot” is something of a thing of the past anyhow, thanks to uniform EU rules. As I understand it, it did not allow for the addition of yeast, depending on naturally occurring yeasts.

    Right. So kraut’s favorite beers don’t actually adhere to his precious “purity law,” which wasn’t even introduced to protect the purity of beer, but rather to protect bread production.

  25. 25
    seraphymcrash

    There’s something deeply amusing about someone who gets upset at the phrase “chicken asse pellet” when applied to McDonald’s chicken nuggets, but then goes on to label all american beer as “dishwater”. I think the amusement comes from the dawning realization of how far their head is up their ass.

  26. 26
    neonsequitur

    kraut -

    My girlfriend (and self-trained nutrition goddess) won’t stop bothering me about how “unhealthy” my Chicken McNodules are. What should I do?

  27. 27
    liokae

    So… the spelling, swearing, and writing style has finally gotten to the point where I can’t even tell what the fuck you’re talking about, Comradde. Could someone provide a little clarity, and perhaps what the hell this is in reference to?

  28. 28
    kraut

    “There’s something deeply amusing about someone who gets upset at the phrase “chicken asse pellet” when applied to McDonald’s chicken nuggets, but then goes on to label all american beer as “dishwater”

    I have tried both, an I find so called american “beer” more appalling than your chicken McNuggets.

    I grew up with German beer, from the real pilsener (best is Pilsener Urbraeu) to Koelsch tasted and enjoyed in cologne, Helles (brewed around Dortmund), Berliner Weisse, (mit und ohne Schuss), various Export beers brewed around Frankfurt, the Einbecker beer tried at the source, Bockbiere or Doppelbock with over 12% alcohol content mostly brewed around christmas, Weizenbier in Bavaria with the obligatory Weisswurst and a Brezel direct from the butchers kettle, Altbier in cities on the Niederrhein, various Lagerbiere with a lesser hops content (the only beer that might come close to what americans call beer), to Guinness in Ireland and various micro brewery beers in Canada.
    After 65 years (almost 42 of those drinking beer, we are not hung up on youth and alcohol in germany as the hypocritical north american piss offs) I have an idea what beers taste like, and what I like. I prefer a beer with a discernible amount of hops, bitter and strong. I know beers, and you asshats don’t.

    I also grew up with real food, like steak tartar, a lean ground beef served on rye bread with onions and some salt and pepper – that is the only use i have for buffalo meat. And cheese like Limburger, that stinks to high heaven like a dead dog (that is when you know it is ripe) but tastes like something only a god could make.
    Ever tried horsemeat in sour gravy – you have no fucking clue what you are missing. Spaetzle, freshly homemade anybody? Zuercher geschnetzeltes? Zwiebelkuchen with schmand and a foaming cider that is just getting started? what aboout kidneys in a sour cream gravy with fresh potatoes from the garden? beef heart in slices and slightly fried? Schweinshaxe that cured in brine for a week and then barbequed to perfection, the fat tasting better than butter, served with a nicely hopsed beer or last years cider?
    Ever tasted a german real bratwurst, not that stuff they sell in North America, or a REAL frankfurter made only (by law) in Frankfurt. Ever had a Chateaubriand? Salzburger Nockerl? Headcheese freshly made by yourself or your favorite butcher. A leberkaes?
    You guys rag on McDonalds with out a fucking clue about real meat, cheeses, gravies that are so loaded with goodies they make your arteries clog up from just looking at it, Kartoffel kloesse mixed 1/2 and 1/2 raw and cooked potatoes, served with a sauerbraten.
    You haven’t got the foggiest about food.

  29. 29
    Sam N

    No kraut, you don’t know shit about American beer. In the last 20 years there has been an enormous proliferation of microbreweries. You may believe American beer is Budweiser (now owned by a Belgian company) or Miller lite or some such shit, but only dumb fucks drink that beer. Try looking up the best beers in the world these days. They’re produced by American microbreweries like Russian River, Alesmith, Lost Abbey, Surly, Deschutes, Stone, Lagunitas, etc. etc. etc. Germany was doing a much better job 20 years ago. They’ve been left in the dust since by people that are fucking innovating with hops, yeasts, and shit tons of other flavors. You think Germany produced the highest alcohol content beers (not that alcohol has a fucking thing to do with flavor but whatever)? You are dreaming–American microbrews are freeze fractionating ridonc alcohol content beers (that I would never waste my money on).

    And you don’t know shit about American cuisine, either. McDonald’s doesn’t hold a candle to fucking innovative fusion restaurants in the US where the best chefs in the world are mixing fucking awesome combos inspired by Hong Kong, Seoul, Mexico, New Orleans, and who the fuck knows where else. Sorry you have no clue about the good stuff that happens in the US, but you do seem awfully fucking parochial, and narrow in general, so that’s no surprise. Maybe you only pay attention to what is advertised the most strongly. That tends to be the worst shit produced–hence the need for advertising. Funny that you think McDonalds is decent fast food, when anyone knows much better fast food is produced by In’n'Out–if you must eat that shit. Fuck, try paying attention to some of the pretty awesome food PP shows how to cook on this very fucking blog.

  30. 30
    kraut

    “left in the dust since by people that are fucking innovating with hops, yeasts, and shit tons of other flavors”

    if you call that beer….

    “Germany produced the highest alcohol content beers” its about the taste, not the alcohol contend. That you compare that freeze dried beer to a decent Bock or Doppelbock shows you have no clue about Starkbier.

    “Funny that you think McDonalds is decent fast food”
    any idea where I said that?

  31. 31
    kraut

    “Fusion restaurants in the US where the best chefs in the world are mixing fucking awesome combos inspired by Hong Kong, Seoul, Mexico, New Orleans, and who the fuck knows where else”

    which only goes to prove that the ex anglo irish majority was never able to develop a decent “cuisine”, some fucking immigrants – coloured or otherwise – having to to show them how to cook.

    And even then the chinese had to “integrate into the atrocious american taste by coming up with that typical abomination “american chinese restaurant” something I unfortunately have tried coming to Canada after my experience of chinese food in London’s Chinatown in the early seventies, in restaurants where i was the only non chinese guest and was sure to get the real stuff, pointing out what other guests were eating – the dinner was printed only in chinese characters.

  32. 32
    Another Kate

    Really, tell us, why so sour, Kraut?

  33. 33
    M can help you with that.

    I prefer a beer with a discernible amount of hops, bitter and strong. I know beers, and you asshats don’t.

    So yet again, you demonstrate that you don’t know anything about American beer beyond the horrid mass-produced swill. Here in San Diego, for instance, there were a few years where most of the serious breweries picked up a trend of over-hopping everything; while that has moderated a bit, the West Coast IPA is still a recognizable style (and quite bitter and strong, even in European company).

  34. 34
    Trebuchet

    Really, tell us, why so sour, Kraut?

    +1 internetz (internette?) to you!

    This is the best thread ever on CPP, I think. Too bad he’s not here to enjoy it. And once again, does anyone know what commercial he was talking about, before Kraut came along and sidetracked it?

  35. 35
    blindrobin

    I have no idea what the original post was referencing, however the real transgressions of McDonald’s adverts are geographical. 2wit: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/new-mcdonalds-advert-turns-skye-1297009

  36. 36
    Dan L.

    Apparently kraut has never even had a Samuel Adams and deigns to sit in judgment on US beers.

    I wonder what would happen if someone put a pint of Dogfish Head in front of him and told him after drinking it that it was a US beer.

    Of course AB Inbev, producers of Budweiser, are now buying up German breweries. I wonder how kraut will feel in 10 years when German beer has all been watered down to shit and the only place to get a decent brew is the US. Judging by his performance here he’ll choke down his Budweiser-style pilsener and insist, contrary to all evidence at hand, that the Germans still make the best beer.

  37. 37
    Skip White

    “which only goes to prove that the ex anglo irish majority was never able to develop a decent “cuisine”, some fucking immigrants – coloured or otherwise – having to to show them how to cook”

    Hey, watch it pal! My ancestors were immigrants… from Germany.

  38. 38
    Another Kate

    @Trebuchet: Why thank you! I shall admire this gift while quaffing a real English ale from the Indigo Imp brewery here in glorious Cleveland :)

    I saw this inane commercial once. Then my palm hit my face so hard, I got a nosebleed. /shudder
    Two dudebros. Stuffing their faces. In McDonalds. Slagging girlfriends. Ack. Anything more specific needs to have a trigger warning.

  39. 39
    DrugMonkey

    They’ve been left in the dust since by people that are fucking innovating with hops, yeasts, and shit tons of other flavors.

    Like that dude who pulls yeast out of his beard? yeah, real innovative.

  40. 40
    Sam N

    Hey, if people swear it tastes good, I’d try it. I don’t really know how much impact yeast has on flavor. Though sadly, I must admit that beard yeast was precisely what I was thinking about when I threw yeast flippantly into that statement.

    But as innovations go, I have grown rather fond of certain beers aged in bourbon barrels. Could go for Bourbonic Plague right now.

  41. 41
    Brandon

    I don’t really know how much impact yeast has on flavor.

    Pretty enormous, actually. Different strains giving different attenuation rates and byproducts, resulting in much different residual sugar content, alcohol level, and flavors. You could take the exact same grain and hop bill and get very different results brewing with WLP060 (White Labs, an American ale yeast strain, suitable for IPAs) and a more traditional British strain.

  42. 42
    Trebuchet

    I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. I am…the least interesting man in the world!

    Back on topic, my Google-fu has failed me in finding the particular commercial CPP is up in armes aboute.

  43. 43
    Robert Harvey

    “The nation that invented fast food …. .”

    Frankfurter
    Wiener
    Hamburger

    Notice a pattern?

    Do Germans really say “ass maggot”?

  44. 44
    Trebuchet

    “Wiener” means “from Vienna”. That’s a different country, except for a few years in the 1930′s and ’40′s. It’s probably a good thing JFK wasn’t in Vienna when he made his famous speech.

  45. 45
    iknklast

    Kraut – you were compared to a Yankee fan, not a Yankee. There is a big difference. A Yankee fan is a fan of the juggernaut US baseball team the New York Yankess, and believe me, someone comparing you to a Yankee fan is probably a much bigger insult than them comparing you to a Yankee. Yankee fans are instinctively hated by those who are not Yankee fans.

  46. 46
    Trebuchet

    “Wiener” means “from Vienna”. That’s a different country, except for a few years in the 1930′s and ’40′s.

    I just realize that probably counts as a Godwin. I lose.

  47. 47
    carlie

    I’m trying to figure out what kind of week kraut has had that trashed his sensibilities to the point that he exploded over a chicken mcnugget criticism. Srsly.

  48. 48
    sailor1031

    In all that really nasty german food Kraut mentions he forgot that great “delicacy” Schlachplatte. I won’t tell you what it is because it’s truly disgusting. In his catalog of beers he forgets to mention Weihenstephan – curious! And Pilsener Urbraeu? Does he mean Pilsener Urquell? In any case Pilsener is from Czech Republic, formerly Czechoslovakia, formerly Sudetenland, formerly Oesterreich. Never german.

    So Herr Kraut – einige woerter fur Sie; lass dich mal umficken!

  49. 49
    slc1

    Speaking of the fuckken Yankees, when is the fuckken Yankee fan going to comment on his fuckken Yankees now on a 4 game fuckken losing streak?

  50. 50
    Tyrant

    So… the spelling, swearing, and writing style has finally gotten to the point where I can’t even tell what the fuck you’re talking about, Comradde. Could someone provide a little clarity, and perhaps what the hell this is in reference to?

    Why, it reads clear as day to me…

    Do Germans really say “ass maggot”?

    Arschmade ist ein absolut kromulentes Wort!

    Right, and as for American beer. I’ll take a Green Flash IPA or Speedway Stout over the vast majority of German beers any day. While Belgium certainly has an excellent tradition, my very favorite beers (and usually cheaper than the Belgians) are now produced in the USA.

    Reinheitsgebot or not, many German beers nowadays are made from malts, hops , yeast, and Water only. There are still strict regulations in place for Pilsner type beer made in Germany for the German market.
    To be fair, I don’t think it makes sense to compare typical German style Helles, (chech) Pils or wheat beers with IPAs, Ales and Belgian beers, which are simply a very different kind of drink. It makes about as much sense as comparing German Pils to Wine.

    That being said, US breweries make a large number of very interesting beers. That is so obvious to anyone who has been there it is almost silly to reiterate it. However, one does not get too much exposure to anything American beyond Budweiser this side of the pond.

    It’s probably a good thing JFK wasn’t in Vienna when he made his famous speech.

    :D

    btw, “Berliner” is a very nice type of pastry.

    Water, malt and hops. That is that. Anything else is dishwater – my label for all american and canadian “beers”

    Don’t be such a German clichéed “america is so uncultured, everything there is crap bla bla bla” type.
    It’s tiresome.

    So Herr Kraut – einige woerter fur Sie; lass dich mal umficken!

    Das ist sexuelle Belästigung, mein Herr! Sie reden wie ein Matrose!

  51. 51
    slc1

    Re kraut:

    Winston Churchill: The Huns are either at your feet or at your throat.

  52. 52
    Tyrant

    “The Huns are either at your feet or at your throat.”

    How nice :-|

  53. 53
    slc1

    Re Tyrant @ #52

    Ole Winston knew what he was talking about.

  54. 54
    Tyrant

    slc1,

    fuck you, too.

  55. 55
    Deanna Joy Lyons - Mentioner of Patriarchy

    Sam N @14

    Thanks for reminding me about Green Flash, there’s a supermarket with an awesome selection of their brews nearby. I know where I’m going to be in two hours. :)

  56. 56
    sailor1031

    from Tyrant:

    slc1,

    fuck you, too.

    Oops! sexuelle Belästigung!! Tsk, tsk!

  57. 57
    sailor1031

    “btw, “Berliner” is a very nice type of pastry.”

    Not so much. In the USA this would be a jelly donut.

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