MENSA (UPDATED)

What kind of fucken sadde freake joins MENSA?

UPDATE: Just took a look at the standards for membership, and these fuckes aren’t even thatte motherfucken smart. For example, by the SAT cutoff, pretty much every undergrad at my university would get in.

Risotto With Radicchio And Smoked Mootz

INGREDIENTS
one third pound of smoked mootz, diced
one and a half cups carnaroli rice
three quarters cup dry white wine
half cup ruby port
one head radicchio, cored and chopped
half cup grated parmigiano reggiano
six cloves garlic, diced
half small white onion, diced
fresh-ground black pepper
one bay leaf
salt
fresh tarragon, chopped
one quart chicken stock, diluted with water to two quarts

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This fucken beauty is from Joe’s Dairy, on Sullivan Street.

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Here’s some of the other ingredients.

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Port!

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Sautee the garlic until it is getting pretty soft, but not caramelized.

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Add the radicchio and continue to sautee until it is nice and soft and reduced down.

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Add the port and turn up the heat to reduce.

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Reduce until pretty much all the liquid is gone, and then remove from the pan and reserve.

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Wipe any remaining liquid from the pan, turn the heat back down, add some more olive oil, and sautee the onions with tarragon and black pepper until the onions are just starting to turn golden.

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Add the rice, turn the hear up to medium, and continue to sautee with stirring until the rice is nicely coated with oil and starting to smell toasty.

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Add the wine and reduce until the alcohol is gone.

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Cook the risotto in the usual way with ladles of simmering chicken broth (throw in a bay leaf and salt the broth ahead of time to taste).

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When the risotto is done, turn off the heat, add a ladle or two more of broth, and add the radicchio, smoked mootz, and parmigiano reggiano.

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Stir well to incorporate, and then allow to rest for couple minutes with the lid on.

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Oh, fucke yeah!!! (If you want this vegetarian, you can use vegetable stock instead of chicken stock.)

Other Awesome Android Shitte

iPad notifications give you two choices:

(1) the new mail or calendar event or whatever opens a dialog box in your fucken face thatte interrupts your shitte until you close it;

(2) the new mail or calendar event or whatever opens a little dealio at the top of the screen that then disappears in a few seconds, so if you don’t notice itte, tough shitte.

And there is no persistent notification icon in the status bar of new mail or calendar events or whatever, because Apple locks thatte shitte down and forbids apps from putting notification icons there because fucke you, thatte’s why.

Android lets apps put notification icons in the status bar, and you can tap on the notification area to slide up a window that tells you what’s going on. So you never miss shitte, but also never have to be interrupted. Admittedly, one thing iPad has going for itte is little number badges on home screen icons indicating the number of new items. While Android seems to allow apps to do this using icon-size widgets, few take advantage (including Gmail, which is stupid).

Android Tablet Kicks Asse

I got an android tablet a couple weeks ago, and I am loving the motherfucker! It is a gajillion times more customizable than iPad. For example, I got this SwiftKeys app for custom keyboard design. With this dealio, you get predictive typing and word completion that learns words you type a lot and is 1000 gajillion fucktillion times better than the iPad keyboard. And the utility with Gmail is also infinitely better.

So fucke the iPad! Hail to motherfucken android!

Penne With Tomato And Gorgonzola

INGREDIENTS
half pound penne
one and a half small cans of crushed san marzanos
half a medium white onion, chopped
six cloves garlic, diced
fresh tarragon, finely chopped
2/3 cup dry white wine
olive oil
fresh-ground black pepper
red chile flakes
salt
quarter pound gorgonzola cheese
parmigiano reggiano

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Sautee the onions and garlic with black and red pepper until soft.

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Deglaze with wine, adding some tarragon.

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Add the tomatoes and simmer on low with lidde offe for about thirty to forty minutes with occasional stirring until the sauce is nice and thick, salting to taste.

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Cheese!

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Sauce is done.

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Boil the penne in salted water. When it is very molto al dente, add about a half cup of the water to the sauce, drain the pasta, and add it to the sauce. Turn up the heat and finish with gentle stirring for a minute or two.

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Turn offe the heat and stir in the cheese until it melts in and incorporates.

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YUMMY FUCKEN SHITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!