The Greatest FAQ On Earth!

No, we won’t give you the fucken shitte we are in business to sell for free if you ask.


  1. Beaker says

    Circus Peanuts are a sin against nature. Biting into one creates a sensation akin to nails on the chalkboard.

    “Although Spangler Circus Peanuts are peanut-shaped marshmallows, they contain absolutely no peanuts. They are actually banana flavored. Spangler Marshmallow Circus Peanuts are a delicious fat-free candy”

  2. meursalt says

    I love it. You”d be amazed how many requests or demands for free stuff I get working customer service. Just today in fact, a customer asked if she could take my tips from my tip jar to help pay for her purchase. She wasn’t short of money or anything, she “just thought [she’d] ask.”

    I especially loved the part about “Some poor sappy business local to you probably already gives our stuff away for free; go bug them.”

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