Monthly Archive: January 2013

Jan 23 2013

Moby Dicke CHAPTER 10. A Bosom Friend.

Returning to the Spouter-Inn from the Chapel, I found Queequeg there quite alone; he having left the Chapel before the benediction some time. He was sitting on a bench before the fire, with his feet on the stove hearth, and in one hand was holding close up to his face that little negro idol of …

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Jan 18 2013

Manti Te’o

There is substantial circumstantial evidence that he knew his supposed girlfriend didn’t exist long before he came clean and stopped exploiting the supposed tragedy. My strong suspicion is that this started out as a hoax *on* Te’o, but evolved into a hoax that he participated in. My equally strong suspicion is that his shift from …

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Jan 17 2013

Moby Dicke CHAPTER 9. The Sermon.

Father Mapple rose, and in a mild voice of unassuming authority ordered the scattered people to condense. “Starboard gangway, there! side away to larboard—larboard gangway to starboard! Midships! midships!” There was a low rumbling of heavy sea-boots among the benches, and a still slighter shuffling of women’s shoes, and all was quiet again, and every …

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Jan 16 2013

BREAKING NEWS FLASH: Wackaloon Redneck Crackers Unclear On Constitution And US History

Civics is clearly one of the triumphs of the American education system. Over the weekend, Sheriff Denny Peyman of Jackson County, Kentucky, said that he too will disobey any directive from the administration. He told residents in a townhall meeting that the sheriff has more power than the federal government. “They need to go back …

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Jan 14 2013

Revised View On Hagel Nomination

I have revised my previous position on the Hagel nomination as SECDEF. Seeing the deranged chickenhawk elements of the GOP going after republican war-hero Hagel as some kind of peacenik appeaser, I now understand this nomination to be part of Obama’s long-term plan to wholly discredit the republican party and make sure that everyone other …

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Jan 13 2013

BREAKING NEWS FLASH! Young People Of Today Are Worst EVER!!!11!11!!

Those damn kids with their funny clothes and “rock and roll” jungle music and pierced ears and tattoos who think they are so damn special are RUINING EVERYTHING by watching teevee and communicating with each other on that damnfangled “Internet” with their “friends”. IT IS THE WORST EPIDEMIC OF HORRIBLENESS EVER, DWARFING THE BLACK PLAGUE, …

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Jan 12 2013

Moby Dicke CHAPTER 8. The Pulpit.

I had not been seated very long ere a man of a certain venerable robustness entered; immediately as the storm-pelted door flew back upon admitting him, a quick regardful eyeing of him by all the congregation, sufficiently attested that this fine old man was the chaplain. Yes, it was the famous Father Mapple, so called …

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Jan 12 2013

Seriously, I Can’t Read A Fucken E-Mail And Keep Listening To A Motherfucken Youtube?

Can this be right that when I leave the fucken browser on my iPad to go read an e-mail that just came in the fucken Youtube stops playing? Tell me I’m doing something wrong. UPDATE: And even worse, when the e-mail program emits a pop-up notification of a new mail, it stops the fucken Youtube …

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Jan 12 2013

Republican Pundit Kindly Offers Some Advice To Help Obama Achieve His Political Goals

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The problem is that most people think that Obama isn’t interested in civility because his actions over the last four years have shown him to be a deeply polarizing. In order for anyone to take him at his word, he needs to be specific about how when it comes to crucial things, he’ll work …

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Jan 11 2013

Gotta Make Sure No One Forgets Those Bitchez’ Real Purpose In Life

These women are highly trained heavily armed soldiers who appear to be even better than typical men at their key combat mission: While the Israeli conscript military’s gender egalitarianism is well known, when it comes to keeping the peace with Egypt over the border, women are valued perhaps even more than their male counterparts. “It …

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