I would like to especially thank Professor blah blah for her guidance and for inspiring me with her deep love of science. I would also like to thank her for her forbearance and understanding during some of the more difficult periods of my tenure in her lab. I also thank all the other members of the lab, both past and present, for their collegiality and friendship, including, but not limited to, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, motherfucker mcnutsacke, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, and the many undergraduates, especially blah blah. I thank drugaddicted fucknutsky technician and weed connection for his help with photography and, more importantly, for his friendship.
I thank Professors Nobel Prize, blah blah, and tragic suicide, for many discussions and much encouragement. I particularly thank Professor wealthy scion for his patient understanding. I also thank all the members of the Department of Biofargnological Sciences, all its students, postdoctoral fellows, professors, technicians, and staff of the business and academic offices, as well as the stockroom.
I wish to thank my parents and brother for all of their love and support, and PhysioGirlfriend for her love and friendship. I thank also awesome therapist, for deep empathy and understanding.
This dissertation is dedicated to my grandfather, Charismatic Compulsive Gambler who paid attention to me to gratify his own ego, without whose influence I am certain it would never have existed.
21 comments
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engineering prof
September 28, 2012 at 9:35 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oh damn, I forgot to acknowledge prof. mcnutsacke in my dissertation. I hope they never actually read it to notice. Would you mind if your minions didn’t acknowledge you in their dissertation?
Sunday Afternoon
September 28, 2012 at 11:19 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
It is of course true that the acknowledgements are the only bit of a thesis that anyone fucken reads.
SC (Salty Current), OM
September 29, 2012 at 5:44 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Acknowledgments must be quick and easy for Republicans:
“I built it.” Done.
Justin Griffith
September 29, 2012 at 5:46 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Someone should just copy and paste the end-credits from a movie for this section.
blindrobin
September 29, 2012 at 7:09 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Very much like obligatory greeting cards, proforma, gratuitous and ignored except by them what uses’em as ticks on a score card.
recent Ph.D.
September 29, 2012 at 7:09 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Your grandfather was also a charismatic compulsive gambler? Damn! I didn’t thank mine in my dissertation, though. Bastard almost gambled away my grandmother’s house and died before I finished high school.
isisthe
September 29, 2012 at 8:15 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I went back to my thesis after reading this. Man, I was an insufferable blowhard.
eeeke
September 29, 2012 at 8:43 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My thesis committee bitched that my acknowledgements sucked and needed to be improved. I must have come across as an ingrate. They had no complaints about the rest of the thesis. Once I beefed up this section, they were happy. Sunday afternoon is right. I dunno, this is kind of a free-for-all section; a person can say whatever they want without the limitations that journals impose if you want to publish with them. No need to poke fun.
Dr Crank
September 29, 2012 at 3:01 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
On the acknowledgement page of my doctoral dissertation, I thanked the department custodian, who always had a kind word for the graduate students
Jadehawk
September 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
my thesis, should I ever write one someday, will be dedicated (or blamed on) the Pharyngula Horde; it’s their fault after all.
SC (Salty Current), OM
September 29, 2012 at 7:24 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I thanked…
Never mind.
Damn straight.
SC (Salty Current), OM
September 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
And you will (write one).
Fred Frith
September 30, 2012 at 5:36 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
test
chigau (違わない)
September 30, 2012 at 9:33 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Aren’t you supposed to say “You like me! You really like me!”
Beaker
September 30, 2012 at 9:36 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
That fucknutsky tech was mentioned in my thesis too, for the same reason.
SAS
October 1, 2012 at 5:22 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I tried to write acknowledgements in a more reserved style, but my MS adviser sent it back complaining that it wasn’t personal enough. He also suggested I put my SO in there; seems like everyone I know has a thesis that thanks a significant other who is no longer so significant in their life.
onychophora
October 1, 2012 at 10:08 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Anyone else here write theirs in the 30 minutes before the submission deadline?
Arkady
October 2, 2012 at 2:24 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Currently in the middle of writing my thesis, this is so very tempting…
Am definitely going to thank my LARPing flatmate in my acknowledgements though. Seeing someone dress up in armour made from lino accompanied with several foam swords before disappearing off to the local park with his similarly-dressed mates every weekend, makes the decision to do a PhD seem positively normal!
pipenta
October 2, 2012 at 6:41 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I’d like to see the acknowledgements presented as a nice flow chart.
Rob
October 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yup. Complete with spelling error in the sentence where I thanked my proof reader – sigh.
CoR
October 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I thanked my ‘baby-daddy’ too. Ha ha ha ha. That shit’s in print. Seriously. (Oy).