Sep 28 2012

PhD Dissertation Acknowledgments

I would like to especially thank Professor blah blah for her guidance and for inspiring me with her deep love of science. I would also like to thank her for her forbearance and understanding during some of the more difficult periods of my tenure in her lab. I also thank all the other members of the lab, both past and present, for their collegiality and friendship, including, but not limited to, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, motherfucker mcnutsacke, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, and the many undergraduates, especially blah blah. I thank drugaddicted fucknutsky technician and weed connection for his help with photography and, more importantly, for his friendship.

I thank Professors Nobel Prize, blah blah, and tragic suicide, for many discussions and much encouragement. I particularly thank Professor wealthy scion for his patient understanding. I also thank all the members of the Department of Biofargnological Sciences, all its students, postdoctoral fellows, professors, technicians, and staff of the business and academic offices, as well as the stockroom.

I wish to thank my parents and brother for all of their love and support, and PhysioGirlfriend for her love and friendship. I thank also awesome therapist, for deep empathy and understanding.

This dissertation is dedicated to my grandfather, Charismatic Compulsive Gambler who paid attention to me to gratify his own ego, without whose influence I am certain it would never have existed.


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  1. 1
    engineering prof

    Oh damn, I forgot to acknowledge prof. mcnutsacke in my dissertation. I hope they never actually read it to notice. Would you mind if your minions didn’t acknowledge you in their dissertation?

  2. 2
    Sunday Afternoon

    It is of course true that the acknowledgements are the only bit of a thesis that anyone fucken reads.

  3. 3
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    Acknowledgments must be quick and easy for Republicans:

    I built it.” Done.

  4. 4
    Justin Griffith

    Someone should just copy and paste the end-credits from a movie for this section.

  5. 5

    Very much like obligatory greeting cards, proforma, gratuitous and ignored except by them what uses’em as ticks on a score card.

  6. 6
    recent Ph.D.

    Your grandfather was also a charismatic compulsive gambler? Damn! I didn’t thank mine in my dissertation, though. Bastard almost gambled away my grandmother’s house and died before I finished high school.

  7. 7
    Isis the Scientist

    I went back to my thesis after reading this. Man, I was an insufferable blowhard.

  8. 8

    My thesis committee bitched that my acknowledgements sucked and needed to be improved. I must have come across as an ingrate. They had no complaints about the rest of the thesis. Once I beefed up this section, they were happy. Sunday afternoon is right. I dunno, this is kind of a free-for-all section; a person can say whatever they want without the limitations that journals impose if you want to publish with them. No need to poke fun.

  9. 9
    Dr Crank

    On the acknowledgement page of my doctoral dissertation, I thanked the department custodian, who always had a kind word for the graduate students

  10. 10

    my thesis, should I ever write one someday, will be dedicated (or blamed on) the Pharyngula Horde; it’s their fault after all.

  11. 11
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    I thanked…

    Never mind.

    my thesis, should I ever write one someday, will be dedicated [to] (or blamed on) the Pharyngula Horde; itโ€™s their fault after all.

    Damn straight.

  12. 12
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    And you will (write one).

  13. 13
    Fred Frith


  14. 14
    chigau (้•ใ†)

    Aren’t you supposed to say “You like me! You really like me!”

  15. 15

    That fucknutsky tech was mentioned in my thesis too, for the same reason.

  16. 16

    I tried to write acknowledgements in a more reserved style, but my MS adviser sent it back complaining that it wasn’t personal enough. He also suggested I put my SO in there; seems like everyone I know has a thesis that thanks a significant other who is no longer so significant in their life.

  17. 17

    Anyone else here write theirs in the 30 minutes before the submission deadline?

  18. 18

    Currently in the middle of writing my thesis, this is so very tempting…

    Am definitely going to thank my LARPing flatmate in my acknowledgements though. Seeing someone dress up in armour made from lino accompanied with several foam swords before disappearing off to the local park with his similarly-dressed mates every weekend, makes the decision to do a PhD seem positively normal!

  19. 19

    I’d like to see the acknowledgements presented as a nice flow chart.

  20. 20

    Anyone else here write theirs in the 30 minutes before the submission deadline?

    Yup. Complete with spelling error in the sentence where I thanked my proof reader – sigh.

  21. 21

    I thanked my ‘baby-daddy’ too. Ha ha ha ha. That shit’s in print. Seriously. (Oy).

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