Union! »« Obama’s College Transcript

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  1. blindrobin says

    [Texas high school linebacker speak]Heeduh gotten in baig trouble with management ifin heeduh broke a fanger on his passin’ hand doin thait, ainy prolly got uh ear full frummum for not keepin’ the bottom line and in-shoorince costs in mind innywaze.

    But Yeah He Done Right…

  2. Kilian Hekhuis says

    I have no idea what I just saw, except a bunch of people crawling around on a field some of them jumping on top of each other…

  3. Stevarious says

    @Kilian Hekhuis

    I have no idea what I just saw, except a bunch of people crawling around on a field some of them jumping on top of each other…

    Football is actually a pretty simple game, once you know what’s going on. You see, it all revolves around the person holding the little brown handegg. If you’re holding the handegg, everyone’s allowed to jump on you and try to make you fall down, and if you fall down while you are holding the handegg too many times, you have to give the handegg to the other team so that they can have a turn playing with it.

    Now, the only way to make points is by running across a special line while holding the handegg, or throwing the handegg to one of your friends on the other side of the line. And if you DROP the handegg, one of the guys from the other team can pick it up and make points with it!

    But the most important thing in the whole game is to not get hurt! If you get hurt, even a little tiny bit, you aren’t allowed to play anymore! So, since everyone is really afraid of getting hurt, all the players spend most of the game standing around and talking about where to throw or carry the handegg, and only a little bit of the game actually carrying the handegg anywhere.

    That’s why people are always talking about the ‘Quarterback’ – he spends the most time holding the handegg, and he decides where it goes and who has to carry it when he doesn’t want to anymore, so he’s the most important person on the team.

    In this video, the Quarterback gives the handegg to one of his friends, and then his friend gets jumped on, falls down, and drops the handegg – the worst possible thing! One of the guys on the other team picks up the handegg, so the Quarterback jumps on the guy who picked it up before he could run across the special line and keeps them from making any points!

    This is a thing that only a good Quarterback can do. A bad Quarterback would try to do it and fail or hurt himself. A worse Quarterback would jump out of the way because he’s afraid of getting hurt! This Quarterback is a good Quarterback because he jumped on the guy with the handegg and made him fall down without getting hurt.

  4. borax says

    The only thing better is when the kicker makes the tackle. So, so rare. Also, thanks Stevarious for explaining the situation so well for folks who don’t follow the game.

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