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Jul 28 2012

Reader Poll: Funyuns versus Wise Onion Rings

Twisty Faster enjoyed some Funyuns last night while watching some of the Olympics opening ceremonies. In the extruded onion-flavored rynge market space, Wise Onion Rings are much better than Funyuns. Whatever shitte they are made out of is ground finer, and so they have a lighter, less granular texture than Funyuns.

Readers, what do you all think?

18 comments

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  1. 1
    Isis the Scientist

    Team Funyuns.

  2. 2
    Cuttlefish

    I tried an extruded onion rynge once.

  3. 3
    Shplane, Spess Alium

    Andy Capp’s hot fries.

  4. 4
    Comradde PhysioProffe

    Andy Capp’s hot fries are the fucken best!!!!!

  5. 5
    One Thousand Needles, lumper-splitter

    Whatever shitte they are made out of is ground finer, and so they have a lighter, less granular texture.

    If I ever find myself thinking about food in those terms, it’s because I woke up in some dystopian, Soylent Green-esque nightmare.

  6. 6
    blindrobin

    I tend to prefer cicharrones, as the inorganic component after-taste from whatever shitte those extruded things are made of has always put me off a bit.

  7. 7
    MaryK

    Team Funyuns here, but mostly for nostalgic reasons.

  8. 8
    skeptifem

    All that shit is gross. Just make some fucken onion rings, its not that hard.

  9. 9
    Kate from Iowa

    I shared a bedroom with an older sister who’s entire diet during high school was Funyuns and CornNuts. You just brought back a host of very stinky memories that make me want to strangle her.

    OFF TO MOM’S HOUSE!

  10. 10
    PZ Myers

    I have never tasted any of these strange things you’re talking about.

    The addictive snack food of choice in my childhood was pork rinds.

  11. 11
    Cuttlefish

    skeptifem @#8–ah, agreed, but who makes the best onion rings? My nostalgic tastes favor A&W and DQ, but there’s a little place in Woodstock VT called White Cottage that is worth the drive…

  12. 12
    geocatherder

    Onion rings? The noble onion, flavor basis for countless soups, stews, and various other fine and healthy dishes, breaded and deep-fried?????

    AAAAGGGGHHHHH! Fortunately, the onions are in the kitchen and will not hear anything about this sacrilege before one of them is made into lentil soup.

  13. 13
    skeptifem

    @cuttlefish

    I’m in utah, where there are about a million good burger places. Hires big H has the best onion rings here.

  14. 14
    Lithified Detritus

    Onion rings? The noble onion, flavor basis for countless soups, stews, and various other fine and healthy dishes, breaded and deep-fried?????

    The best onion rings aren’t breaded, they are dipped in an egg batter. The oil needs to be clean and hot – 185° C. The rings are crisp instead of greasy, and the onion will be nicely sweet, with just a bit of crunch.

    On topic – I remember Funyuns, but have never heard of Wise Onion Rings. Are they a regional brand?

    And I would definitely take pork rinds (with hot sauce)over Funyuns.

  15. 15
    Cuttlefish

    Lithified Detritus– well said. You did not say (because it goes without saying), that they are actual fucking onion rings, and not some form of standardized and extruded goo.

    Also, they are yellow spanish onions, not Vidalias. But that may be a matter of preference.

  16. 16
    Francisco Bacopa

    On topic – I remember Funyuns, but have never heard of Wise Onion Rings. Are they a regional brand?

    Used to have Wise in Texas, but haven’t seen them in many years here. Wise was unce owned by Borden and was in more markets at that time. Similar story with Bama jelly and peanut butter. Was in more markets when Borden owned Bama, but now is only in the south

    There are quite a few local brands of cicharrones, I can’t say I’m a fan.

    As for REAL onion rings, I have to agree that egg batter is the way to go. And it’s best to use recycled oil in a deep fryer, and some of that recycled oil should have been used to cook chicken fried steak. And CFS needs to be made from the leanest grass fed beef from a local farm. I get a small ration of lean beef from my sister-in-law every two months or so. She is from small scale cattle and orchard people.

    Chicken fried steak is really just a variant of schnitzel. It was invented by German immigrants to Texas. CFS is probably more like the original schnitzel of Europe than any schnitzel you can eat there today. Veal or prime beef does not benefit from pounding and batter frying, lean beef and retired dairy beef does.

    Maybe the Proffe has a CFS recipe.

  17. 17
    Lithified Detritus

    I had never heard of cicharrones, so I Googled it.

    Holy shitte! Pork rinds fried all day in lard!

    http://www.mexicoinmykitchen.com/2010/11/homemade-pork-skinschicharrones-de.html

    My taste buds and my arteries are quivering, but for different reasons…

  18. 18
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