Reader Poll: Funyuns versus Wise Onion Rings

Twisty Faster enjoyed some Funyuns last night while watching some of the Olympics opening ceremonies. In the extruded onion-flavored rynge market space, Wise Onion Rings are much better than Funyuns. Whatever shitte they are made out of is ground finer, and so they have a lighter, less granular texture than Funyuns.

Readers, what do you all think?

Comments

  1. One Thousand Needles says

    Whatever shitte they are made out of is ground finer, and so they have a lighter, less granular texture.

    If I ever find myself thinking about food in those terms, it’s because I woke up in some dystopian, Soylent Green-esque nightmare.

  2. blindrobin says

    I tend to prefer cicharrones, as the inorganic component after-taste from whatever shitte those extruded things are made of has always put me off a bit.

  3. Kate from Iowa says

    I shared a bedroom with an older sister who’s entire diet during high school was Funyuns and CornNuts. You just brought back a host of very stinky memories that make me want to strangle her.

    OFF TO MOM’S HOUSE!

  4. says

    I have never tasted any of these strange things you’re talking about.

    The addictive snack food of choice in my childhood was pork rinds.

  5. Cuttlefish says

    skeptifem @#8–ah, agreed, but who makes the best onion rings? My nostalgic tastes favor A&W and DQ, but there’s a little place in Woodstock VT called White Cottage that is worth the drive…

  6. geocatherder says

    Onion rings? The noble onion, flavor basis for countless soups, stews, and various other fine and healthy dishes, breaded and deep-fried?????

    AAAAGGGGHHHHH! Fortunately, the onions are in the kitchen and will not hear anything about this sacrilege before one of them is made into lentil soup.

  7. Lithified Detritus says

    Onion rings? The noble onion, flavor basis for countless soups, stews, and various other fine and healthy dishes, breaded and deep-fried?????

    The best onion rings aren’t breaded, they are dipped in an egg batter. The oil needs to be clean and hot – 185° C. The rings are crisp instead of greasy, and the onion will be nicely sweet, with just a bit of crunch.

    On topic – I remember Funyuns, but have never heard of Wise Onion Rings. Are they a regional brand?

    And I would definitely take pork rinds (with hot sauce)over Funyuns.

  8. Cuttlefish says

    Lithified Detritus– well said. You did not say (because it goes without saying), that they are actual fucking onion rings, and not some form of standardized and extruded goo.

    Also, they are yellow spanish onions, not Vidalias. But that may be a matter of preference.

  9. Francisco Bacopa says

    On topic – I remember Funyuns, but have never heard of Wise Onion Rings. Are they a regional brand?

    Used to have Wise in Texas, but haven’t seen them in many years here. Wise was unce owned by Borden and was in more markets at that time. Similar story with Bama jelly and peanut butter. Was in more markets when Borden owned Bama, but now is only in the south

    There are quite a few local brands of cicharrones, I can’t say I’m a fan.

    As for REAL onion rings, I have to agree that egg batter is the way to go. And it’s best to use recycled oil in a deep fryer, and some of that recycled oil should have been used to cook chicken fried steak. And CFS needs to be made from the leanest grass fed beef from a local farm. I get a small ration of lean beef from my sister-in-law every two months or so. She is from small scale cattle and orchard people.

    Chicken fried steak is really just a variant of schnitzel. It was invented by German immigrants to Texas. CFS is probably more like the original schnitzel of Europe than any schnitzel you can eat there today. Veal or prime beef does not benefit from pounding and batter frying, lean beef and retired dairy beef does.

    Maybe the Proffe has a CFS recipe.

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