Mezze Rigatoni With Pink Clam And Sausage Sauce

INGREDIENTS
half pound of mezze rigatoni
three cans “Snow”-brand chopped clams (“Bar Harbor” are shitte)
one can “Bookbinders” clam broth
one third pound Italian sausage
one small can crushed san marzanos
fuckeloade of diced garlic
three-fourths cup dry white wine
fresh-ground black pepper
pinch of thyme
crushed red pepper flakes
salt
olive oil
shittetonne of chopped fresh basil
parmigiano reggiano or pecorino moliterno for grating

Sautee the garlic in oilve oil with thyme, red pepper, and black pepper, until the garlic is toasty golden brown. You want to do this slowly, but hot enough to develop a toasted garlic flavor, not just soften it.

Add the sausage after removing it from the casing and sautee until it is nicely browned, breaking it up well with your wooden spoon as you do so.

Deglaze with the white wine and burn off the EtOH.

Drain the liquid from the san marzanos as much as possible, jiggling them around in the strainer to really get out the liquid. (Otherwise, you are making red clam sauce, not pink.)

Add the juice from the clams–reserving the clams–and the can of clam broth and the tomatoes, and bring to a medium simmer, keeping the lid off.

When the sauce has reduced by about one third, add a nice handful of basil, stir and keep simmering while you boil the pasta in salty water until it is very molto al dente–still crunchy in the middle.

Sauce is done–reduced by about two thirds. Salt to taste.

Add a half to two thirds cup of the pasta water and the drained pasta to the sauce, stir well, and bring to a high simmer, cooking for about two or three minutes, until the pasta is molto al dente, stirring occasionally.

Done!

Shitte is fucken delicious, and goes very well with a nice dry Italian rose (which you could use to cook it)!

Premature St. Patrick’s Day!!!11!!1!11!!!ELBENTY!!11!

Corned Beef with Mustard Cream Sauce

INGREDIENTS
five-to-six pound uncooked corned beef
five tablespoons pickling spices
one head cabbage, quartered
sixteen little white potatoes
one pound little white onions
salt
fresh-ground black pepper
half cup heavy cream
fucketonne of Colman’s prepared mustard
bunch of dashes of Lea & Perrins worcestershire sauce
four tablespoons butter
three tablespoons white flour
finely chopped parsley
splash of Templeton rye
one bottle dry white wine

This is the beautiful corned beef brisket, purchased from our local butcher and sourced from a maker in The Bronx.

Here are the pickling spices. We used McCormick brand, which contains CINNAMON, ALLSPICE, MUSTARD SEED, CORIANDER, BAY LEAVES, GINGER, CHILIES, CLOVES, BLACK PEPPER, MACE, and CARDAMOM.

Boil the beef for one hour in water, and then discard the boiling water.

Clean all the residue out of the pot, and then add two quarts of water, the bottle of white wine, and the sacke of spices, bring to a boil, and then put the beef in, cover, and simmer on medium for fucken hours, until the motherfucker is done. After about two hours, taste the boiling water and salt to taste. You can tell when it’s done, because your big two-prong meat pronger will slide in real easily.

Put the little white boiling onions in boiling water and continue to boil for thirty seconds, and then remove and cool them in tap water. This makes the fuckers easy peasy to peel, and then cut off the top and bottom ends.

When the meat’s nearly done, start making the sauce by melting the butter on medium-low.

Stir in the flour and mix very well to start making the roux. Add a bunch of fresh-ground black pepper.

Cook the roux with constant stirring until it is golden, and then “deglaze” (there should be no glaze in the pan) with a nice big splash of rye, and as soon as the alcohol burns off, add about three cups of the corned beef boiling water, stir well, and then allow to keep simmering on low.

The beef is done, so take it out and cover it in a dish with foil to keep it warm.

Put the onions and potatoes in the remaining boiling water in the pot first, and then the cabbage. Cover and boil on medium high for about ten or fifteen minutes, until all the shitte is nice and tender.

Add a fuckeloade of Colman’s mustard and chopped parsley, stir well, and continue to cook on low.

Add worcestershire sauce to taste, stir, and then salt to taste.

Add the cream, continue to cook with stirring for a few minutes, and then turn off the heat.

Plate, sauce, sprinkle, and HELLZ TO THE MOTHERFUCKEN YEAHH!!!111!1!111!!

After I took this nice picture, I put more sauce on the vegetables, and then also poured a little of the beef boiling water onto them to kind of brothify the sauce for the cabbage, onions, and potatoes.

White Christian Pig People, Free Contraception, and Paying For Other People’s Contraception

Rush Motherfucken Shittebagge Limbaugh and his degenerate christian white pigge people followers notwithstanding, this has nothing to do with “free” contraception or “paying for other people’s” contraception. What it has to do with is whether contraception is considered “preventative medical care”, just like a bunch of other shit that insurance companies are required to cover in their medical insurance policies that the policy-holders pay for, whether directly or as part of their compensation for the work they do as an employee of a company with a group policy.

The End of an Era

One of the best old-school speakeasies in NYC–around since Prohibition–called Bill’s Gay ’90s (the founder during Prohibition was apparently nostalgic for the Gay ’90s) is soon going to be closing its doors for the last time, at least at its current location. Some of my readers may be acquainted with the outstanding barkeep blogger Scribbler. Well, he has just revealed that he is one of the bartenders at Bill’s, and given the real-world circumstances, he is going to scale back on his bloggeing for now.

For those who are not so acquainted, you should go check out his blogge. It is chock full of awesome tales from behind the stick!

Why The White Christian Pig People Are Going Off The Deep End

The white christian asshole pig people motherfuckers are going off the fucken deep end, because they know that it is only a matter of time before the niggers, spics, bitches, kikes, faggots, professors, towelheads, and other assorted undesirables are gonna take over this fucken country and kick their retrograde ignorant neoconfederate scum asses to the fucken curb. Rush Limbaugh himself is just a greedy rich pig with no convictions about anything at all other than stuffing his greedy rich fucken pig face with lucre, but he channels the id of the white christian d00d asshole motherfuckers that really feel the way that he speaks.

White Christian Pig People and Insurance

While the white christian pig people live in a world of delusional fantasy in which contraception causes teenage pregnancy, single motherhood, divorce, and abortion, insurance companies have to live in the world of reality, the world in which their predictions about how much they are going to have to pay out in claims are tested by what actually fucken happens in reality. And in this real world, health insurance companies want to be mandated to provide contraception in their insurance plans, because (1) they know that providing contraception to their policyholders is eleventeen kajillion fucketonnes cheaper than paying for childbirth (or abortion) and (2) they want to be able to tell the sicke fucke white christian pig people who are screaming about how contraception KILLZ BAYBEEZ that they have no choice but to provide it.